MissNoname Posted September 20, 2013 Posted September 20, 2013 I broke up with this guy I dated exclusively because I found out that while he was dating me he was already involved with someone. He lied to me being single the whole time. I texted him saying I know about the other girl and that were over and to not call or text me. He didnt respond. Now, I have all this pain inside me and I want him to know how much hurt he has caused me. My friends said to talk to him in person and let him know how I feel. Im confused and not really sure what to do. I want to go to his house and tell him how I feel. Not to scream or yell at him but to just say you hurt me but I don't want to do something that I will regret later. I haven't contacted him since I sent the break up text and its been 4 days. Please help! Whats the best way to deal with this?
lauri Posted September 20, 2013 Posted September 20, 2013 I broke up with this guy I dated exclusively because I found out that while he was dating me he was already involved with someone. He lied to me being single the whole time. I texted him saying I know about the other girl and that were over and to not call or text me. He didnt respond. Now, I have all this pain inside me and I want him to know how much hurt he has caused me. My friends said to talk to him in person and let him know how I feel. Im confused and not really sure what to do. I want to go to his house and tell him how I feel. Not to scream or yell at him but to just say you hurt me but I don't want to do something that I will regret later. I haven't contacted him since I sent the break up text and its been 4 days. Please help! Whats the best way to deal with this? I'm really sorry that he did this to you. I wouldn't go see him - no matter what you say and do it won't change the past and how he made you feel. You need to ACCEPT that this is over forever and realize that he isn't worth your time or thoughts anymore. This isn't something you will feel / do over night, but you have to strive towards doing it. As a guy with morals and values, I would never do what he did to you. Two things I don't agree and will never do: Cheating and going after a girl who is taken. This guy is a loser and I wouldn't even talk to him again..he didn't appreciate you and that is his loss. I made the decision to not talk to my ex and meet with her for the "final closure" as I realized it wouldn't change a damn thing and the only closure that would make me feel better is her never hurting me, which is impossible to undo. 6
mercuryshadow Posted September 20, 2013 Posted September 20, 2013 While what he did to you was extremely crappy, it's best to get on with your life and leave him in your past. Showing up at his door looks desperate and will probably not give you closure. Seeing him may in fact hinder your progress. As for the emotional trauma, it's just something you're going to have to ride out until it subsides. It doesn't appear you were dating him for very long, and so I surmise that you'll be over this sooner than you think. And take away from this experience a valuable lesson: your gut was telling you something was off, and it was. You'll know this for next time.
Author MissNoname Posted September 20, 2013 Author Posted September 20, 2013 I'm really sorry that he did this to you. I wouldn't go see him - no matter what you say and do it won't change the past and how he made you feel. You need to ACCEPT that this is over forever and realize that he isn't worth your time or thoughts anymore. This isn't something you will feel / do over night, but you have to strive towards doing it. As a guy with morals and values, I would never do what he did to you. Two things I don't agree and will never do: Cheating and going after a girl who is taken. This guy is a loser and I wouldn't even talk to him again..he didn't appreciate you and that is his loss. I made the decision to not talk to my ex and meet with her for the "final closure" as I realized it wouldn't change a damn thing and the only closure that would make me feel better is her never hurting me, which is impossible to undo. Thank you. What he did really hurt me. Im trying to get rid of him and the pictures of him and the other girl in my thought but its really hard.
Author MissNoname Posted September 20, 2013 Author Posted September 20, 2013 While what he did to you was extremely crappy, it's best to get on with your life and leave him in your past. Showing up at his door looks desperate and will probably not give you closure. Seeing him may in fact hinder your progress. As for the emotional trauma, it's just something you're going to have to ride out until it subsides. It doesn't appear you were dating him for very long, and so I surmise that you'll be over this sooner than you think. And take away from this experience a valuable lesson: your gut was telling you something was off, and it was. You'll know this for next time. Thank you. I figured going to his house is not a good idea but friends keep insisting I should do it for myself and do not care about what he will think so I get closure.
Author MissNoname Posted September 20, 2013 Author Posted September 20, 2013 While what he did to you was extremely crappy, it's best to get on with your life and leave him in your past. Showing up at his door looks desperate and will probably not give you closure. Seeing him may in fact hinder your progress. As for the emotional trauma, it's just something you're going to have to ride out until it subsides. It doesn't appear you were dating him for very long, and so I surmise that you'll be over this sooner than you think. And take away from this experience a valuable lesson: your gut was telling you something was off, and it was. You'll know this for next time. We started dating in May of last year. I broke up with him. He came back to me, pursued me hard for several months. I turned him down many times but he did not stop. It got to a point that he begged me to see him again. I did and thats how we started dating again.
lauri Posted September 20, 2013 Posted September 20, 2013 (edited) Thank you. I figured going to his house is not a good idea but friends keep insisting I should do it for myself and do not care about what he will think so I get closure. What will you achieve talking to him? My friends told me that exactly same thing. I did the opposite and decided I don't care why she did what she did and telling her how I feel wont do me any good. Did you explain to him how u felt via email or text? I did it via text and disappeared and deleted..She lost her chance. I promise you that you won't get closure until you just drop him and move forward. Trust me it is killing me but I know it would kill me more to see someone I love not care about what I'm saying and how hurt I am. I'd rather delete, show them I don't care and that they aren't even worth my thoughts...even though I feel different inside I will never show her. To help save you emotions I wouldn't see him again. Edited September 20, 2013 by lauri 2
reddragon588 Posted September 20, 2013 Posted September 20, 2013 You did the right thing. I would not talk in person. He has a lot of work to do to improve himself before he deserves to speak to you again, honestly.
thishatteredsymphony Posted September 20, 2013 Posted September 20, 2013 I'm really sorry that he did this to you. I wouldn't go see him - no matter what you say and do it won't change the past and how he made you feel. You need to ACCEPT that this is over forever and realize that he isn't worth your time or thoughts anymore. This isn't something you will feel / do over night, but you have to strive towards doing it. As a guy with morals and values, I would never do what he did to you. Two things I don't agree and will never do: Cheating and going after a girl who is taken. This guy is a loser and I wouldn't even talk to him again..he didn't appreciate you and that is his loss. I made the decision to not talk to my ex and meet with her for the "final closure" as I realized it wouldn't change a damn thing and the only closure that would make me feel better is her never hurting me, which is impossible to undo. This part in bold. This so ****ing much. The crap my ex fed me about how her new man is a good person. Hell no, anyone who does this is a piece of ****. OP, you deserve better. A man like that is not worth your time. I won't downplay your pain because I know it hurts. We're here to help you however we can. But just remind yourself, you deserve better. 3
movingonnow1 Posted September 20, 2013 Posted September 20, 2013 Lauri you spoke the truth there. Any guy who does what you said is a f***. You deserve a lot better and I'm not just saying that...you are just hurting at the moment...and will hurt more before this all goes away. No one likes rejection. Its because we know what we are worth and we know we deserve to be treated like royalty. One day we'll find our king or queen..but always remember don't NEED to be with someone to be happy, we only need ourselves.
headinthecloud Posted September 20, 2013 Posted September 20, 2013 We started dating in May of last year. I broke up with him. He came back to me, pursued me hard for several months. I turned him down many times but he did not stop. It got to a point that he begged me to see him again. I did and thats how we started dating again. Don't contact him! Whatever you do, it's wasted energy and won't change the situation. He doesn't respect women - talking to him won't change that and will anger you moreso as you rehash the past. For your own mental health, be strong and refocus that energy on you. You are an amazing woman and don't let him determine your love ability. I experienced something similar in my LDR BU where he was the one to push the exclusive dating card after only 2mos but then I caught him lying to me about being on OLD after 4mos. Who knows what else he did in the 6mos we dated. It's taken me 2mos since to forgive myself for being vulnerable and letting someone take advantage of me. That was the hard part for me, but now I refuse to own his baggage and have moved on. It's not your fault he's a douche bag. He won't change - he doesn't respect you or any woman. A good quote I read recently, "Don't own something that isn't yours." It's his loss.
Author MissNoname Posted September 21, 2013 Author Posted September 21, 2013 What will you achieve talking to him? My friends told me that exactly same thing. I did the opposite and decided I don't care why she did what she did and telling her how I feel wont do me any good. Did you explain to him how u felt via email or text? I did it via text and disappeared and deleted..She lost her chance. I promise you that you won't get closure until you just drop him and move forward. Trust me it is killing me but I know it would kill me more to see someone I love not care about what I'm saying and how hurt I am. I'd rather delete, show them I don't care and that they aren't even worth my thoughts...even though I feel different inside I will never show her. To help save you emotions I wouldn't see him again. No I did not tell him how I felt. I just said that I know about the other girl and said her name and that were over and he shouldn't call or text me.
RiceaRoni Posted September 21, 2013 Posted September 21, 2013 You were right to call him out on it and end it. No man....no, no boy has no excuse to do that to a woman. You dear, deserve far better. He deserves no more time in your thoughts. You did the right thing, and don't waste your time with him, telling him how you feel and how much he hurt you. It'll make him look as of he has more power. I'm sorry you were hurt in this way too. Just look towards the future and know you will meet a man who will give you the respect and appreciation and love you deserve.
BigGirlPantiesOn Posted September 21, 2013 Posted September 21, 2013 Why do you think he even cares to hear your pain? He hasn't cared enough to even reply to your break up texts? Don't humiliate yourself by confronting someone who doesnt give a snot. Go pamper yourself with something nice. Practice accepting that there are ****ty people in this world. Im sorry for your pain.
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