stormer1092 Posted September 20, 2013 Posted September 20, 2013 I'm having some troubles being alone. I have to be constantly doing something or else my mind wanders and I start missing her like crazy. Its been about a month no contact and about 1.5 months since BU. How do I cope with being alone. I'm always looking for someone to hang out with and I think I might be annoying my friends. I guess I'm used to having someone around and I miss the companionship. I'm so used to ALWAYS having something to do. I'm doing everything I can to stay level minded but I get anxiety and feel a real bad urge to get up and do something or go somewhere. But now since I'm out of this relationship and allot more free time I think more and it makes it worse. Any help would be much appreciated.
Philosoraptor Posted September 20, 2013 Posted September 20, 2013 Well then don't be alone. Make some more friends, go out to a park and chat with strangers, get a pet, join a meetup group and find new people that way... etc. Never hurts to have a full life and lots of good people in it. 1
Author stormer1092 Posted September 20, 2013 Author Posted September 20, 2013 Well then don't be alone. Make some more friends, go out to a park and chat with strangers, get a pet, join a meetup group and find new people that way... etc. Never hurts to have a full life and lots of good people in it. I've gotten a job 40 hours a week which helps allot but still not enough to fill my whole day. I'm trying to reconnect with some old college buddies also. But I guess I have to be patient.
Chi townD Posted September 20, 2013 Posted September 20, 2013 Yep! But one month is nothing in the grand scheme of things. You need time. But, fill that time up with making positive changes in your life just like raptor said. Dude, just look around for stuff to do. You'll be surprised with what you find! Join a men's soccer league, or co-ed softball, or dive lessons, or running clubs. These folks get together and do mud runs and fun crap like that. Or a cycling club. They travel around and mountain bike in some of the most beautiful places in the country. Just start looking!
Ansem Posted September 20, 2013 Posted September 20, 2013 Find new hobbies or work on past ones. I'm also about a month and a half into no contact and everything still seems to remind me of her; whenever this happens I either go to the park and get some pick up games of soccer or if it's too late for that I go for a run outside. If the job isn't enough for you, perhaps join a gym - this is one of the places where it's always okay to go alone. Sometimes I don't feel like going out or doing anything because I don't want to be alone but this is something we just have to get over. Good luck brother.
Author stormer1092 Posted September 20, 2013 Author Posted September 20, 2013 Yep! But one month is nothing in the grand scheme of things. You need time. But, fill that time up with making positive changes in your life just like raptor said. Dude, just look around for stuff to do. You'll be surprised with what you find! Join a men's soccer league, or co-ed softball, or dive lessons, or running clubs. These folks get together and do mud runs and fun crap like that. Or a cycling club. They travel around and mountain bike in some of the most beautiful places in the country. Just start looking! Trying to get into an offroad club. But new job and I don't get paid for another week.
Chi townD Posted September 20, 2013 Posted September 20, 2013 Trying to get into an offroad club. But new job and I don't get paid for another week. Happens dude. Things cost money. Six months ago, I got back from a bike trip from France through Spain. I didn't wake up one morning and said, "Yep! Lets go!" I had to save and plan and make reservations, plan time off work, Rosetta Stone to learn a little Spanish .... it took me a few months..BUT! I made it happen! Thing is you make a plan, do the research and go!
Author stormer1092 Posted September 20, 2013 Author Posted September 20, 2013 Happens dude. Things cost money. Six months ago, I got back from a bike trip from France through Spain. I didn't wake up one morning and said, "Yep! Lets go!" I had to save and plan and make reservations, plan time off work, Rosetta Stone to learn a little Spanish .... it took me a few months..BUT! I made it happen! Thing is you make a plan, do the research and go! Yea I know. Always comes down to cash and its just depressing to be honest. But my hard work will pay off some day.
barky2 Posted September 20, 2013 Posted September 20, 2013 Ya everything takes time. I went to Vegas Miami new Orleans NYC. Focused my time on making it happen,going to gym, meeting new people. I loved being alone. I'm outgoing so talking to random people was easy. I even went to Vegas alone, had more fun then going to Miami and new Orleans with friends. Dive face first into making yourself happy. Barky 2
Author stormer1092 Posted September 20, 2013 Author Posted September 20, 2013 Ya everything takes time. I went to Vegas Miami new Orleans NYC. Focused my time on making it happen,going to gym, meeting new people. I loved being alone. I'm outgoing so talking to random people was easy. I even went to Vegas alone, had more fun then going to Miami and new Orleans with friends. Dive face first into making yourself happy. Barky Thats one of my problems. I'm not very outgoing so meeting new people is tough. I have no problem getting things done, I can be assertive but making new relationships can be hard for me.
emi Posted September 20, 2013 Posted September 20, 2013 What wrong with being alone? When you are alone, you get to know yourself more. Dont afraid of being alone. You may miss it someday 1
Author stormer1092 Posted September 20, 2013 Author Posted September 20, 2013 What wrong with being alone? When you are alone, you get to know yourself more. Dont afraid of being alone. You may miss it someday I don't like sitting around and not doing anything mostly. I'm not afraid of being single I just hate being alone. I've done it for far to long.
Babolat Posted September 20, 2013 Posted September 20, 2013 Thats one of my problems. I'm not very outgoing so meeting new people is tough. I have no problem getting things done, I can be assertive but making new relationships can be hard for me. Same here, I am an introvert, though i work at being more social. My good friends and people that know me all think I am an extrovert and very social. It takes work, a lot, for me to be that way. A buddy invited me out to watcha football game last night. At the last minute I almost cancleed as i justed wanted to be home, alone. I had a great time though. Don't beat yourself up..it takes time. Practice talking to random people in store lines, I do. Talk to the cashier, make a joke, I do. Heck, while at a bar the other night with a friend, my friend said "that couple looks unhappy", so I leaned over and said "Are you happy?" Wow, in 10 minutes I got their entire marriage story, and it was fun. The husband had gone to the bathroom and the wife started sharing stuff with me that, well, I did not need to hear, but she obviously wanted to talk, so I listened. It can be that easy.
emi Posted September 20, 2013 Posted September 20, 2013 I know how you feel bro. When i was on summer vacation. I just sit, open lappy, lie around, sleep Always at home alone. It was boring and how i was wishing my school open again and yea it did open 1 month ago And guess what. NOW I DONT EVEN GET TO SLEEP 8 HOURS PER DAY. So i think u should enjoy the free time you get atm, persuade some hobbies, reading etc. Invest in yourself and get ready for what comming along
Author stormer1092 Posted September 20, 2013 Author Posted September 20, 2013 I know how you feel bro. When i was on summer vacation. I just sit, open lappy, lie around, sleep Always at home alone. It was boring and how i was wishing my school open again and yea it did open 1 month ago And guess what. NOW I DONT EVEN GET TO SLEEP 8 HOURS PER DAY. So i think u should enjoy the free time you get atm, persuade some hobbies, reading etc. Invest in yourself and get ready for what comming along I REALLY miss college.. I was thinkin about going back but for what? The money also.. But right now I think I'm going to build up my jeep since I've always wanted to.
emi Posted September 20, 2013 Posted September 20, 2013 try some travel It open people's mind and perspective more than anything I would love to travel thought. But im underage and still rely on parents. But you dont !
Author stormer1092 Posted September 20, 2013 Author Posted September 20, 2013 Same here, I am an introvert, though i work at being more social. My good friends and people that know me all think I am an extrovert and very social. It takes work, a lot, for me to be that way. A buddy invited me out to watcha football game last night. At the last minute I almost cancleed as i justed wanted to be home, alone. I had a great time though. Don't beat yourself up..it takes time. Practice talking to random people in store lines, I do. Talk to the cashier, make a joke, I do. Heck, while at a bar the other night with a friend, my friend said "that couple looks unhappy", so I leaned over and said "Are you happy?" Wow, in 10 minutes I got their entire marriage story, and it was fun. The husband had gone to the bathroom and the wife started sharing stuff with me that, well, I did not need to hear, but she obviously wanted to talk, so I listened. It can be that easy. I try to do it all the time. Funny because I work at a job that requires me to talk to customers. But I'm still shy as all H3!! around girls my age. I always think I'm to ugly for them. I have a certain girl type I like and when I see one my words just go away like bye bye.
Author stormer1092 Posted September 20, 2013 Author Posted September 20, 2013 try some travel It open people's mind and perspective more than anything I would love to travel thought. But im underage and still rely on parents. But you dont ! Ha i'm 21 and still living at home. But I did go to college which does put things on hold only graduated a year ago. But who would I go with? Thats the thing.
emi Posted September 20, 2013 Posted September 20, 2013 try join some travel forum. and catch up with people I saw many people posting in travel forum asking for companies to go travel with to share cost and to feel safer You will get to meet someone new in the destination and in the travel group. Thats a great way
Author stormer1092 Posted September 20, 2013 Author Posted September 20, 2013 try join some travel forum. and catch up with people I saw many people posting in travel forum asking for companies to go travel with to share cost and to feel safer You will get to meet someone new in the destination and in the travel group. Thats a great way Its a possibility. Wouldn't it be kind of awkward tho to travel with someone you don't know?
emi Posted September 20, 2013 Posted September 20, 2013 no it not. i saw many people just join in and hit it off And its not people who you dont know about. Its people who share common interest and people who you dont know YET. However you still need to caution when you go travel thou. Alone or with people. But hey if people can do it then so can you
Author stormer1092 Posted September 20, 2013 Author Posted September 20, 2013 no it not. i saw many people just join in and hit it off And its not people who you dont know about. Its people who share common interest and people who you dont know YET. However you still need to caution when you go travel thou. Alone or with people. But hey if people can do it then so can you What are the forums?
emi Posted September 20, 2013 Posted September 20, 2013 The forum i mention you about is in my country's language. Im from asia. Can u read vietnamese? Try google for your own country language forum. i dont think there is any country without a group of people shared travel interest. Notice : key word : backpacker
Chi townD Posted September 20, 2013 Posted September 20, 2013 Its a possibility. Wouldn't it be kind of awkward tho to travel with someone you don't know? Nah, you get to meet them several times beforehand. For instance, there's a group here in Chicago called the Chicago Adventure and Travel Club. Their motto is "To make friends and see the world!" If you join the club and sign up for one of the trips. They have trip meet ups before you go so you get to meet everyone and go over your itinerary, go over things you might need to pack for the trip at some local pub. And these clubs are usually good on finding great deals. For instance, they have a trip to Nepal you can go on for 11 days for $998. So, you can visit the city of Kathmandu, trek across the Himalaya's....only draw back is you have to purchase your airfare and your own spending money for meals not indicated. BUT!!!! These clubs usually get discount deals for airfare and 11 days in Nepal for under a grand?!?!
Chi townD Posted September 20, 2013 Posted September 20, 2013 Ya everything takes time. I went to Vegas Miami new Orleans NYC. Focused my time on making it happen,going to gym, meeting new people. I loved being alone. I'm outgoing so talking to random people was easy. I even went to Vegas alone, had more fun then going to Miami and new Orleans with friends. Dive face first into making yourself happy. Barky DAMN YOU!!! ....now I want to go to Miami....I miss South Beach.... 1
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