Desirable Posted September 20, 2013 Posted September 20, 2013 Title says it all. I am just curious! Sometimes it helps to reflect a little on things, whether they have ended or are still enduring
Red Wolverine Posted September 20, 2013 Posted September 20, 2013 Getting back together with him when he said he was going to get a divorce. If I'd told him to come back when he was divorced, it would have saved him, his wife, and I a lot of heartache. 1
BruisedBNBroken Posted September 20, 2013 Posted September 20, 2013 I regret ever starting the affair. The first inappropriate kiss that started the downward spiral through months of the highest highs and lowest lows. Wish I could turn back time and erase the last 6 months. 1
happy stillmore Posted September 20, 2013 Posted September 20, 2013 The biggest regret by far is even starting the affair. Believing him when he said his future was with me. I blame myself for getting myself in this situation. Now I'm a changed person, better and worse. Worse because I don't think I can trust a man when he says he truly loves me. Better because I have acknowledge I do have the power to change things in my life if I'm not happy. I have learned a lot of myself and life throughout this experience. 1
missy268 Posted September 20, 2013 Posted September 20, 2013 Letting him do as he pleases really, instead of just standing upto him and saying NO don't do that to me, I just let him. I regret never telling him how I actually felt about him, I was actually quite mean to him when I gave him a 2nd chance, i couldn't forget that he had left me in previous months to go back to her when he had split up with her. I shouldn't have given him the second chance after he left her again as he then left me for somebody else!!:mad: He kept telling me that one day everything would be okay and you never know where the future may lead. He would say things about how he felt about me, and i kept saying to him why do you feel like that and he said it was none of my business yet and that confused me. I wished i'd of just asked to have seen him and sat him down and spoke to him about everything and got it all out there. We are on NC now, and have been for nearly 6 months. I still can't let it go (and its come back because i saw him drive past my house last weekend) he makes me feel sick, but there are regrets as to how I could have handled it all, i didn't handle it very well.
zevahc Posted September 20, 2013 Posted September 20, 2013 It's hard to answer. I don't regret knowing what this type of connection feels like. I say connection because I'm not longer sure using the word "love" is healthy or appropriate. I can't regret feeling that connection with her. I regret that it happened under these circumstances, but I'm not sure enough to say I wouldn't want to experience the connection. i regret most, opening my heart up at the turning point I should have said enough...before the PA...when the EA got pretty serious...i should have tried to divert then. My heart is forever changed and I feel like has huge scars that I may never be able to completely heal. I'm not sure how to get it back to a point where I'm open to love someone else fully. That part scares me and leads to this regret. 1
ConcreteHeart Posted September 20, 2013 Posted September 20, 2013 I regret starting the affair in the first place. I don't regret the gift of having him in my life. I just wish it was under different circumstances. I wish we were both free to be ourselves openly. To walk down the street holding hands and being open and free with our affection for each other. To be able to go to a restaurant or an event and let people know we were together. The secrecy is hard. I regret hanging on as long as I did, but at the same time I hope that one day we both regret letting each other go. 1
thefooloftheyear Posted September 20, 2013 Posted September 20, 2013 When she invited me over to her place for dinner, I should have just eaten the leftover lunch I had in the fridge,,I wasnt even hungry.... TFY 1
MissBee Posted September 20, 2013 Posted September 20, 2013 When she invited me over to her place for dinner, I should have just eaten the leftover lunch I had in the fridge,,I wasnt even hungry.... TFY At this point I don't actively regret anything, except there was some financial situation that occurred that if I had it to do over I'd have never done that and it's probably the one thing I look back on the most and can get upset about even still. And of course, knowing what I know now, no I wouldn't have had this A and certainly won't be doing that again in the future, but it's not an active regret though, as I did learn A LOT from it which has been very useful to me. 2
KentuckyGent Posted September 20, 2013 Posted September 20, 2013 Ever having met her in the first place. Rekindling the EA after initially putting the kibosh on it Accepting the invitation to her hotel room just to visit and have a glass of wine.
legalgirl Posted September 20, 2013 Posted September 20, 2013 I regret him falling for me and vise versa. We were good friends who hung out some, maybe had a drink after work sometimes and just joked around and were happy! Then feelings and I love you's got involved and everything was complicated!!!! 1
bentleychic Posted September 20, 2013 Posted September 20, 2013 Honestly, the only thing that I can regret is the possibility that his W may end up hurt by this. I've been thinking about my answer to this all day and I cannot say that I regret the relationship or falling in love with him. I regret the situation and I regret the timing b/c it does have the potential to hurt her if she finds. 2
ladydesigner Posted September 20, 2013 Posted September 20, 2013 Honestly, the only thing that I can regret is the possibility that his W may end up hurt by this. I've been thinking about my answer to this all day and I cannot say that I regret the relationship or falling in love with him. I regret the situation and I regret the timing b/c it does have the potential to hurt her if she finds. It has the potential to turn her whole world upside down.
ladydesigner Posted September 20, 2013 Posted September 20, 2013 Mine is that I ever had an A with my xAP. It was not only foolish, but it hurt my family and I can't take that back and that is the part that I regret, not being able to take it back.
randomwoman Posted September 20, 2013 Posted September 20, 2013 My biggest regret is letting it go down the path. I should have just never exchanged phone numbers with him and remained his coworker.
whereamigoing Posted September 20, 2013 Posted September 20, 2013 Aptly timed as two friends have asked me a similar question lately. And my answer is/was "I don't regret anything.". Before the stones come out let me explain because I know that not regretting my affair is pretty non-PC. I don't regret it because I am very happy in my life right now even though he is not in it and may never be in it again. And I wouldn't be here if it hadn't been for that experience. It has changed me for the better. As they move through divorce I also believe they will both be in a better place down the road, that is my hope, wish, and belief. Once she allows herself the time and space to heal she will also find herself in a better place. Perhaps she will even finally recognize her marriage wasn't a good place for her. I have no doubt there is someone better for her out there and when she is free of him she will be able to open herself to that possibility. I know my affair was selfish. I would never recommend anyone to have one...ever. There were some pretty low times in those years and I don't feel good about my part in her suffering. I have guilt but not regrets. 1
maidai Posted September 20, 2013 Posted September 20, 2013 Believing that getting involved with a man who was 18 months seperated, suffered terrible emotional abuse at the hands of his wife telling me it was over to be the truth. Believing it was over for the 18 months after that that we had a relationship together. Believing his wife who seemed relieved he was with someone else did not want him back when she said she did not want him back. Although for that 18 months I don't think she did or she would have fought. I still am not sure she actually wants him for the right reasons now Just basically believing either of them It has taught me that I take people on face value, trust and love to easily. It taught me that just because I am an honest, decent person I should not naturally pressume everyone is. My biggest regret is that I now will not trust as easily and I don't know whether thats a good thing or whether I am now a little bit tainted.
lifelesson101 Posted September 21, 2013 Posted September 21, 2013 The regrets are numerous… I regret the very moment that I laid eyes on him… I knew I would love him. i regret those first two stolen tender kisses, I regret that I lost my common sense. If I could go backward and erase it I would. I have never experienced pain like this in my life. The collateral damage from our very selfish behavior is huge. I recommend affairs to no one. 2
zevahc Posted September 21, 2013 Posted September 21, 2013 That her father didn't pull out. Crude, but funny and sometimes we could all use a laugh.
Dog Woman Posted September 21, 2013 Posted September 21, 2013 I regret getting involved with him in the first place and for not ending it sooner and allowing myself to be constantly reeled back in. I regret responding to a text he sent two days ago after we both agreed to go NC weeks ago and had just blocked his number instead. It has nearly opened the flood gate of the feelings I had when we first met and I was almost tempted to start the affair again. Thankfully I have just told him it is definitely over and not to contact me again.
Sarabi Posted September 21, 2013 Posted September 21, 2013 ? Moving to this city in the first place or not moving from this city when I should have. Getting up to go to work those two days last year when "he" was there. I could have missed out on it all. Would have been easier to face disciplinary action for being off sick than feeling worthless, unloved, useless and rubbish 12+ months later...
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