NiCoLe20 Posted November 23, 2004 Posted November 23, 2004 ok i need some advice.... before me, my b/f was with his ex for about a yr... they always fought , ect... then he met me and they broke up and ended things....when we had our problems he would use her as a rebound and basically used her as someone to talk to b/c we werent talking... well.... she's coming back to town for thanksgiving from school he was suppose to go down to maryland w/ his family but last nite he tells me he doesnt want to b/c he doesnt feel like driving there and spending the night.... i just text messaged him w/ this: ''found out casandra is coming into town 4 thanksgiving..u told me u werent going to maryland now, is it b/c u plan on seeing her? funny coincedence'' he hasnt replied yet... i dont want them seeing each other..what do i do? how do i find out if he's going to see her? how do i make it not happen? i dont want him to start talking to her again...and knowing her, she will call him to come over so they can talk or something...and she knows he's with me... how should i go about this situation? i need some help! thnx
tattoomytoe Posted November 23, 2004 Posted November 23, 2004 tell him it is her or you. if he wants to just be friends with her, tell him it really makes you uncomfortable and you do not think he should speak with her at all. how fair is it that she probobly knows more about how he feels about the two of you than you do. how would he feel if you spoke with your ex still, and hung out with him on thanksgiving after blowing off your family?
Author NiCoLe20 Posted November 23, 2004 Author Posted November 23, 2004 yea thats very true... im going to get to the bottom of this... he usually calls me at lunch so im going to see what he says then.... what should i tell him? should i basically state how im uncomfortable about him seeing her... and also what u mentioned about me going to see my x, and how much it would hurt me if he did that behind my back... anything else im missing guys?
tattoomytoe Posted November 23, 2004 Posted November 23, 2004 can you talk with him in person? i am a big fan of face to face, so i can actually see his face while you ask the questions and tell him your feelings, i think it is abetter indicator. i wouldn't even allude to what i was going to talk about on the phone, as i do not want him to have a chance to figure out a good story or line that will appease me. But i over analyze everything too, so i may be too suspect. reguardless of when or how you tell, you need to let him know your feeling and fears, as these things you know are real issues for you.
Author NiCoLe20 Posted November 23, 2004 Author Posted November 23, 2004 i might be seeing him later on today but im not sure b/c i'd like to go home today and sleep lol... but he'll be calling me around lunch time so i know we will be talking then... i wrote him that text message before so if anything, he already had enuff time to think of an excuse, which sucks, so ill bring it up when i talk to him next and see what he says... i think the best way of him avoiding her would be for me to be with him...or for him to come to my house on thanksgiviing if he doesnt go to maryland w/ his family...but this girl lives in our town and she lives no more then 5 minutes from my house so he can always stop by there and then see me. damn i dont know what to do...ill keep u updated at lunch!
Author NiCoLe20 Posted November 23, 2004 Author Posted November 23, 2004 well he just answered my text message and it said: ''i had no idea about her and i didnt want to go b/c i dont feel like spending half a day in a car but im going" so i dontk now how to take this...he should be calling me soon..ill let u guys know lol haha
GirlDown Posted November 23, 2004 Posted November 23, 2004 the fact that he used her as a rebound when you two had problems (more than once) is a gigntic red flag. he used her as "someone to talk to"??????? the only way i would ever get in touch with my ex to b*itch about my current relationship would be if i wanted something more than talking. FRIENDS are for talking to about relationships, not exes. maybe that's just me, but i sincerely doubt it.
alphamale Posted November 23, 2004 Posted November 23, 2004 Originally posted by NiCoLe20 then he met me and they broke up and ended things.... Your problems all stem from the above. YOU stole him from HER and now SHE wants HIM back. What goes around usually comes around.
tattoomytoe Posted November 23, 2004 Posted November 23, 2004 Originally posted by alphamale Your problems all stem from the above. YOU stole him from HER and now SHE wants HIM back. What goes around usually comes around. ehhhh...not quite, nicole did not steal him, he left the ex. he is the one with the hang up, not nicole.... i really would try to decide- if he is even worth all this bs.
savethedrama4allama Posted November 23, 2004 Posted November 23, 2004 I never understood the notion of "stealing" someone. If they can be stolen, they weren't yours anyway!
Author NiCoLe20 Posted November 23, 2004 Author Posted November 23, 2004 ok i got off the phone with him a while ago and he is going to maryland for the weekend with his family and i told him how i felt about his x trying to get into the picture n he assured me he wants nothing to do w/ her and to remember he loves me blah blah blah ... lol.. he said if i dont believe that he's going to maryland he's going to take pictures of him w/ his family, ect.. i said sure take pictures b/c i want to see them! i also told him to call me when he gets there... gotta keep tabs on him lol so im a little relieved about this... we'll c wut happens.. thanks guys!!!
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