loveRight Posted September 20, 2013 Posted September 20, 2013 Whats really going on with a person who acts like the following-- *Panics if u dont respond to his text message within 15mins...he thinks youre out with other guys. BUT its okay if he ignores your text messages or phone calls?! *Expects a morning text message, EVEN if he doesnt respond? *"going through problems" -Doesnt want to talk about it because hes worried you'll "worry" about him. Also, what are your thoughts about why things r pretty much great in person-together...but communication is just OFF when youre not together. Whats really going on? Thanks for the feedback!
ExpatInItaly Posted September 20, 2013 Posted September 20, 2013 Whats really going on with a person who acts like the following-- *Panics if u dont respond to his text message within 15mins...he thinks youre out with other guys. BUT its okay if he ignores your text messages or phone calls?! *Expects a morning text message, EVEN if he doesnt respond? *"going through problems" -Doesnt want to talk about it because hes worried you'll "worry" about him. Also, what are your thoughts about why things r pretty much great in person-together...but communication is just OFF when youre not together. Whats really going on? Thanks for the feedback! Huge red alert for an insecure emotional abuser. Do NOT pursue this. 4
todreaminblue Posted September 20, 2013 Posted September 20, 2013 serious issues....controlling behavior.....deb 4
GI_Joy Posted September 20, 2013 Posted September 20, 2013 very immature and insecure, with a severe lack of healthy communication. He's really not worth your troubles, OP. Find someone less toxic. 1
SoaringPhenix Posted September 20, 2013 Posted September 20, 2013 At the very least he is controlling and an emotional abuser like others have said. With emotional abuse there is a higher possibility of it turning physical. Drop this guy fast. 1
Mr.Mango Posted September 20, 2013 Posted September 20, 2013 Whats really going on with a person who acts like the following-- *Panics if u dont respond to his text message within 15mins...he thinks youre out with other guys. BUT its okay if he ignores your text messages or phone calls?! Extremely paranoid and selfish behavior. *Expects a morning text message, EVEN if he doesnt respond? Needy and (again) selfish. Pretty much how babies act, I assume his brain developed the concept of "separation and independence"? *"going through problems" -Doesnt want to talk about it because hes worried you'll "worry" about him. Attention seeking and flat out cowardly. If his problems are massive he should at least be man enough to either mention or conceal them, not this in between crap. He makes it worse by telling you not to worry, which is pretty much the only reaction you can have. If he'd mention them you'd at least have an inkling of what's going on. If his problems are tiny he should know not to trouble other people with them and not bring it up at all. Also, what are your thoughts about why things r pretty much great in person-together...but communication is just OFF when youre not together. Whats really going on? If his behavior in person don't match his behavior in other forms, then that's not good. Sounds like he's having fun with the on/off switch, which is a bunch of BS and no healthy relationship is ever in need of. Thanks for the feedback! See bolded. 1
Author loveRight Posted September 20, 2013 Author Posted September 20, 2013 See bolded. YES i agree with everything everyone has said. & exactly!-im worried ALREADY. its not like im happy not knowing whats really going on. 85% of his relationships have ended with him being cheated on.. so go figure? lol I blame myself for putting up with any of this bull****.
Author loveRight Posted September 20, 2013 Author Posted September 20, 2013 So you've cut off all contact? No i have not. i had a long talk with him (which is difficult to do) if his actions remain the same then obviously i will.
Author loveRight Posted September 20, 2013 Author Posted September 20, 2013 ~~~~~~~Epic Fail Thank you?
ExpatInItaly Posted September 21, 2013 Posted September 21, 2013 YES i agree with everything everyone has said. & exactly!-im worried ALREADY. its not like im happy not knowing whats really going on. 85% of his relationships have ended with him being cheated on.. so go figure? lol I blame myself for putting up with any of this bull****. Just a word of caution...don't necessarily believe he's telling the truth about that. You only have his word to go by, and he isn't playing with a full deck.
Atem Posted September 21, 2013 Posted September 21, 2013 Drop him - he's far from into this Or - multidate while seeing him if he's fun in person Know though that if you want a serious relationship, this guy's not the one. 2
candie13 Posted September 21, 2013 Posted September 21, 2013 Amen to the post above. If I am telling you he is not worth it or ****ed up or if the whole LS is telling you the same thing, you won't understand it, unless you can compare and contrast when you go out with a normal person, who finds you cute. I swear, the moment you see how a normal person behaves... This guy is playing, providing your thrills, making it one day hot, one day cold. Disrespectful to you - because he is not answering all your texts, thinks he's better than you - because he expects you to give him attention - texting back every time and think about him Absolutely emotional abuser, with high abandonment issues, controlling. You know what the worst is? Even if you do play along, even if you react exactly as you want him to, he will find another twisted way of punishing you harder for what most likely happened to him, at some point. It'll never end and it will never get better. Do whatever you can to leave this toxic relationship asap, before you get even more emotionally involved.
ExpatInItaly Posted September 21, 2013 Posted September 21, 2013 Amen to the post above. If I am telling you he is not worth it or ****ed up or if the whole LS is telling you the same thing, you won't understand it, unless you can compare and contrast when you go out with a normal person, who finds you cute. I swear, the moment you see how a normal person behaves... This guy is playing, providing your thrills, making it one day hot, one day cold. Disrespectful to you - because he is not answering all your texts, thinks he's better than you - because he expects you to give him attention - texting back every time and think about him Absolutely emotional abuser, with high abandonment issues, controlling. You know what the worst is? Even if you do play along, even if you react exactly as you want him to, he will find another twisted way of punishing you harder for what most likely happened to him, at some point. It'll never end and it will never get better. Do whatever you can to leave this toxic relationship asap, before you get even more emotionally involved. I cannot stress enough how important it is to listen to this, OP. I was with someone who had similar tendencies, and it did in fact get much worse. I have never felt so emotionally terrorized as when I was with that man. Save yourself the pain and move on.
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