Guys,if an old crush you had grown apart from contacted u again,would u like it ?

[Jane18]

So here is the story

 

This guy got interested in me right after we met, he chased me but i wasn't on a "dating" page yet although i found him very charming already. I needed time but was too stupid to tell him, instead i acted cold. He never told me he had "feelings" at that point but he was around me all the time and asking me out and i was always refusing. He started ignoring me a bit but we eventually talked again to each other and became friends.

 

There were still clearly flirty/sweet-romantic things in his behavior towards me and my feelings grew as i was getting to know him better & better but none of us straightforwardly "tried" anything concrete or spoke up. He was hot & cold so i never dared either telling him how i was feeling.

I moved to the other side of the country, so we had a "talk" right before where i i asked him if he had liked me and why his behavior had seemed ambiguous towards me... sounds clumsy i know, but i needed to clear my mind and know what this was. He admitted his feelings, i confessed i had an interest in him, but i think he seemed annoyed by me forcing him to speak up like this, or only doing so late... After that,he got a bit more distant even though he still seemed to care about me. Things got weird & complicated cause we were both a bit on the "defensive" with each other. Me cause i was hurt by the fact that he didn't jump on the occasion of our talk to get closer to me (but well, it was too late already anyways...) and he was acting distant, him for whatever reason he had. He did on top of that one or two really jerky/hurtful things towards me after i had left and didn't bother facing it when i tried to confront him with it (he is kind of immature), he ignored me, simply. I ended up cutting him off, i deleted him from fb to preserve myself (was hurt by his behavior + didn't want to follow his entire life, new girl friends included, on facebook, he wasn't talking to me anymore anyways).

 

Anyways, it has been almost over a year now... i saw him only once again since then when i came back to my hometown to visit my grandma: i ran into him at the mall, he acted strange... i had interpreted his "jerky-cowardly" behavior after i had left as disregard, but it didn't seem like it. I must admit i avoided him a bit at first cause i was afraid of his reaction, but i realized he looked very shy and vulnerable, he looked a bit thrilled and afraid at the same time. He looked a bit like a little boy, he was trying to catch my eyes a bit (he had a puppy look in his eyes, he looked so shy) but was avoidant at the same time, he seemed soooo stressed out. We finally ended up facing each other. He talked to me, he looked even more emotional and shy than me. He seemed a bit disappointed when i said i was just staying a few more hours (had to catch my plane to go back later that evening). We didn't talk long at all, we were both in a rush, and he didn't suggest to catch up and hasn't contacted me again since then either.

 

I don't have feelings for him anymore but i regret having lost a friend... do you think i could contact him again, ask how he is doing, or does it look like i should just forget about it cause he probably doesn't care... (he could have contacted me too after all... he knows he did jerky things and that ignoring me when i was trying to tell him his behavior was a bit lame made it even worse).

Guys, if you'd have had liked a girl and been good friend with her for a year and you had so brutally cut contact with one another with no proper explanation, would be likely to talk to her again or do you rather just delete girls easily from your mind once they've "disappeared" from your life ?

 

Sorry for all the details... thank you sooo so much if you bothered reading all of this... and thanks in advance for your help !

Edited September 19, 2013 by Jane18

[hppr]

You shouldn't contact him again.

 

The guy really liked you and you put him in the friend zone, that really kills a guy's self esteem. Contacting him again to "let's be friends!" is just twisting the knife all over again. Leave the poor guy alone and message some random coworker on Facebook if you want a new friend.

[truth_seeker]

Call me crazy but sounds like you have feelings for him - more than just friendship