Is It Normal To Feel More Angry After Marriage Counseling?

[GirlloST03]

I had posted my experience here and maybe some of you will remember.

 

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/marriage-life-partnerships/414689-i-am-falling-apart

After some heart to heart we decided to get some counseling and work on our issues. Last month has been pretty low key in terms of the drama and I see he is making genuine attempts to change things.

 

Yesterday was my first session with a seasoned therapists and I must say it was enlightening and emotional. However, post the session I felt even more angry at my husband and for all I went through. The next morning I felt a strange disconnect and a part of me really hated him for cheating me out of the future I had envisioned I am actually a little scared, as I thought therapy will help me vent out anger and I will feel emotionally lighter. But it was just the opposite.

 

In fact, he has been trying to kiss me and get close to me, but I actually felt physically uncomfortable. The lack of sex in the marriage really bothered me and one of the reasons, I dont feel desired or loved by him. But I just dont feel like even touching him anymore. Especially since the therapist thinks he has some unresolved issues as he can masturbate everyday prior to the wedding (hence doesn't lack the sex drive), but always hesitating have a healthy sexual relationship with me. And that just turned me off him completely as I felt I deserve someone who desires me and has passion for me. Holding hands is not good enough!

 

 

 

Why am I posting this here? As I want to know is it normal to feel even more angry after therapy? In fact a part of me doesn't want to many any effort with and I never had that feeling before.

[BikerAccnt]

It's not at all unusual to feel even angrier and very emotional after a therapy session. Those sessions are designed to have you talk about things that are very uncomfortable and things that you may have avoided talking about, or even avoided letting yourself feel. I think it's perfectly natural.

 

That said, don't judge things on one session, unless you felt the therapist was unprofessional, give it a couple to see if he is the one for you.

 

Also, therapy may give you answers, you really didn't want to hear. Either about yourself, your husband, or both of you.

 

Good luck

 

edit - I posted this before I read your back story. What I said above still holds, however, taking what you wrote at face value. It sounds as if your husband has some underlying issues he needs to work through himself. Either with your marriage therapist, or another solely for him. Something is clearly bothering him.

Edited September 19, 2013 by BikerAccnt

[HokeyReligions]

Sounds normal to me. When hubby and I had problems a couple decades ago and got counseling it became a rollercoaster ride as we first learned about some past issues then how to deal with the emotions then how to move forward and deal with setbacks.

 

There were days I felt worse and days I felt great. Same with hubby. It was at least a year before we felt better and a few more years learning how to move beyond coping to "looking forward" truly optimistically.

 

Its hard work but so worth it.

[ChooseTruth]

We were usually livid after counseling. She had cheated and was lying about the scope of the affair throughout the sessions. We ended up in divorce.

 

I don't know what's normal. Just presenting some facts/data about my case.

 

 

Come to think of it, we went to counseling 7 years before that for two months. I don't remember being angry after those sessions. I remember feeling better. We stayed married for 7 more years. Maybe that tells you something?