forgetmenot75 Posted September 19, 2013 Posted September 19, 2013 Hi all, thought I'd do some sort of mental exercise and share it with you. Very interested in know your responses as well If we could place all our pain in one number, from 1 to 10, how much pain are you having right now? How much the first week after the breakup? And how much pain you endured while being in the relationship with your ex? Here's my scale of pain: Now: 6 First week after breakup: 10 While in relationship: 8 It wasn't a healthy one for me, and I can definitely say I am better without him. How about you?
lovesucks76 Posted September 19, 2013 Posted September 19, 2013 Hi all, thought I'd do some sort of mental exercise and share it with you. Very interested in know your responses as well If we could place all our pain in one number, from 1 to 10, how much pain are you having right now? How much the first week after the breakup? And how much pain you endured while being in the relationship with your ex? Here's my scale of pain: Now: 6 First week after breakup: 10 While in relationship: 8 It wasn't a healthy one for me, and I can definitely say I am better without him. How about you? Now: 3 First week after breakup: 10 While in relationship: 0-1 It wasn't painful while we were together,it was and still is when we were apart. That doesn't necessary mean we were a good match or meant to be together. We both did lot of 'settling in' and tried to accommodate each other almost too much at times.
Author forgetmenot75 Posted September 19, 2013 Author Posted September 19, 2013 Mmm yeah, I agree it doesn't have to be painful to be horrible. mine was because he didn't care about me and Ion the contrary, cared a lot. Interesting you are on a 3 right now. How long ago was your breakup?
lovesucks76 Posted September 19, 2013 Posted September 19, 2013 6.5 weeks since BU but who's counting.... I'm a 3 now because I chose to let go of the major pain. I tried to be more honest about the RS and see it for what it was. We both made mistakes. I understand her better now than I did while in the relationship. I realize now that we both loved and liked(important) each other so much that we were willing to change who we were fundamentally for the sake of staying together but deep down we were very different people and incompatible for the long term but I still miss and love her. I will always love her. You have to let go eventually, no hoping, just let go..... or the pain will never stop.
L1ght Posted September 19, 2013 Posted September 19, 2013 Now: Its been about a year since I spoke to her and I've let go of everything....only occasionally will I start to scratch my head and question things but I snap out of it within a couple of minutes then get back to my life without her. *1 First week after breakup: Tricky cos initially it didn't even sink in properly and emotionally I was all over the place trying to understand what was happening. So as far as being out of control of my emotions? Crazy crazy time in my life got to be *10+ While in relationship: Uhm I guess there was a little bit of pain when we would fight but there was always something to hold onto until we actually broke up....like there was always something we were fighting for and everything fixed itself when we found a solution. It just felt like normal relationship problems so *0? perhaps Note. Asides from the confusion in the first week or two I ended up totally ignoring how much it effected me for about 6 months while I dated other women until I snapped. 6 months after the break up the truth that it was over hit me and I felt the most pain. Since then its been a steady process but I'm glad to say I have made it to the shore through the turbulent waters
Author forgetmenot75 Posted September 19, 2013 Author Posted September 19, 2013 6.5 weeks since BU but who's counting.... I'm a 3 now because I chose to let go of the major pain. I tried to be more honest about the RS and see it for what it was. We both made mistakes. I understand her better now than I did while in the relationship. I realize now that we both loved and liked(important) each other so much that we were willing to change who we were fundamentally for the sake of staying together but deep down we were very different people and incompatible for the long term but I still miss and love her. I will always love her. You have to let go eventually, no hoping, just let go..... or the pain will never stop. That's the most difficult part, to let go...I was wondering yesterday if "the love of your life" really exists. Because if it does indeed exist, how to let them go. and what are the prospects of finding another love?
lovesucks76 Posted September 19, 2013 Posted September 19, 2013 That's the most difficult part, to let go...I was wondering yesterday if "the love of your life" really exists. Because if it does indeed exist, how to let them go. and what are the prospects of finding another love? Well, I've been in love twice now and both were very intense and real. I still love them both but not in love with the first one anymore. I'm not sure if there's just 'the one', I believe there are just a few. At least I hope so... My RS was not abusive or disrespectful so its easier not to hate her but also difficult to justify the BU too. I had to dig deep and realize what was going on underneath and there was resentment on both sides. We're talking again but it won't change anything. We're just different and I realize that now. Listen, if my ex and are meant to be together we will be. The same goes to you. You have to let go first, you have no choice. Once you let go you will see feel better almost instantly I promise you and it will give you a new sense of power and control. YOU decided to let go, not him. I'm starting to feel like the old ME now.
No_closure Posted September 19, 2013 Posted September 19, 2013 When it happened: 10 Now: 10 In Relationship: 2 hardly ever fought and never hurt my feelings but we bickered now and then like any normal couple...
Author forgetmenot75 Posted September 20, 2013 Author Posted September 20, 2013 When it happened: 10 Now: 10 In Relationship: 2 hardly ever fought and never hurt my feelings but we bickered now and then like any normal couple... how long ago was the breakup?
TLazer Posted September 20, 2013 Posted September 20, 2013 Hi all, thought I'd do some sort of mental exercise and share it with you. Very interested in know your responses as well If we could place all our pain in one number, from 1 to 10, how much pain are you having right now? How much the first week after the breakup? And how much pain you endured while being in the relationship with your ex? Here's my scale of pain: Now: 6 First week after breakup: 10 While in relationship: 8 It wasn't a healthy one for me, and I can definitely say I am better without him. How about you? Now: 10 First week after breakup: 1 While in relationship: 0 Gotta say that I miss her beyond belief... Still cant to this day get over her...
templeofmax Posted September 20, 2013 Posted September 20, 2013 Relationship: 4 One week after BU: 7 (my grandpa passed away next day, so that overtook) One month after BU: 10 Two months after BU: 10 Three months after BU: 9 Four months after BU: 7 Five months after BU (now, exactly): 5
Author forgetmenot75 Posted September 20, 2013 Author Posted September 20, 2013 Well, I've been in love twice now and both were very intense and real. I still love them both but not in love with the first one anymore. I'm not sure if there's just 'the one', I believe there are just a few. At least I hope so... My RS was not abusive or disrespectful so its easier not to hate her but also difficult to justify the BU too. I had to dig deep and realize what was going on underneath and there was resentment on both sides. We're talking again but it won't change anything. We're just different and I realize that now. Listen, if my ex and are meant to be together we will be. The same goes to you. You have to let go first, you have no choice. Once you let go you will see feel better almost instantly I promise you and it will give you a new sense of power and control. YOU decided to let go, not him. I'm starting to feel like the old ME now. I want to believe there are more than a few...I've had a few already Though, with none of the others I felt this. I don't know if it was love, or infatuation. But it was really strong.
Author forgetmenot75 Posted September 20, 2013 Author Posted September 20, 2013 Relationship: 4 One week after BU: 7 (my grandpa passed away next day, so that overtook) One month after BU: 10 Two months after BU: 10 Three months after BU: 9 Four months after BU: 7 Five months after BU (now, exactly): 5 This is really awesome (I don't mean your breakup, but how the pain decreased). I'd like to know how you are doing next month
templeofmax Posted September 20, 2013 Posted September 20, 2013 This is really awesome (I don't mean your breakup, but how the pain decreased). I'd like to know how you are doing next month Thank you . I think going into my internship from my master degree helped a lot since I started getting busy. I still think about her almost non-stop, but don't get caught up in the pain as before, only in a couple of instances where I hurt her without intention (yelling, etc). I do feel a lot of remorse and was still trying to reach out as of last week (occasional text), but so far no response whatsoever. I think it also helped that I know this girl who I asked out on a date that is going to happen in two weeks. I feel guilty somewhat, but I need to start moving on, or if not I will be living on illusions for a long time and waiting on a call that may come or not.
prettynpink88 Posted September 20, 2013 Posted September 20, 2013 Now: 7 First week after breakup: 1 While in relationship: 8 Yeah, it was a painful relationship that I was relieved to be out of at first, but now I'm realizing that we had so many good times together.
RiceaRoni Posted September 20, 2013 Posted September 20, 2013 Now: 9 during break up: 10 while in relationship: 8 This one has hurt me more than any others have. Not sure why, but I think I need to talk to someone. It's starting to take effect of my life. It was a very unhealthy relationship. A part of me is glad it's over, yet I still feel pain.
Author forgetmenot75 Posted September 20, 2013 Author Posted September 20, 2013 Now: 9 during break up: 10 while in relationship: 8 This one has hurt me more than any others have. Not sure why, but I think I need to talk to someone. It's starting to take effect of my life. It was a very unhealthy relationship. A part of me is glad it's over, yet I still feel pain. How ong since breakup and why was it so painful?
Author forgetmenot75 Posted September 20, 2013 Author Posted September 20, 2013 which time? LMAO!! My last huge break up was life changing While in the relationship-9 At the time of Breaking it off (filing for divorce) -8 2 months after -7 6 months after 5 Currently 14 months later-1 Inspiring! I'm sorry it was so painful while in relationship. You're so much better without her. You were strict no contact?
RiceaRoni Posted September 20, 2013 Posted September 20, 2013 How ong since breakup and why was it so painful? About a week. And he was constanly giving up on us. Wanted to be friends and then would change his mind. Very wish washy behavior. Blamed for everything, guilt tripped, pressured, yelled at, until the end. There were many good moments as well, but it was such a messy relationship.
Chris715 Posted September 20, 2013 Posted September 20, 2013 (edited) now: 9 1st week after break up: 6 in relationship: 3 My situation is really weird. After we broke up we immediately resumed contact, like, literally the next day (had no idea what I was doing at the time, neither was she) and had something of a psuedo-relationship for months after the break up, so the pain wasn't so bad then. A week or so ago I cut all contact with her, all of it. Blocked on Facebook and suspended my account, deleted her Skype, Snapchat, phone number, and I'm going through some of my worst pain now because of it. The break up was in November... Yeah it's been one helluva ride Edited September 20, 2013 by Chris715
Omei Posted September 20, 2013 Posted September 20, 2013 In relationship: 5 Broke up: plus 10 I smoked a lot of weed and drank for 1 month so I didn't have to face it. Month 2-6: a rollercoaster from 1-10 Now(month7): haven't cried for over 2 weeks I don't feel much of anything stuffs getting hard to remember, its been pretty emotionless.
mano Posted September 20, 2013 Posted September 20, 2013 Now 2 weeks post breakup: 6 during relationship: 8 1st week : 9 was a very toxic relationship, i endured alot of pain, but though im feeling peaceful but still very sad n empty cux of it ending.
stormer1092 Posted September 20, 2013 Posted September 20, 2013 Now: 6 First week:10 While in relationship: 1 It was a good relationship not amazing. Lots of good times and some bad but more good then bad. Small stupid arguments but nothing major. BU came out of nowhere.
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