MissNoname Posted September 19, 2013 Posted September 19, 2013 (edited) I just recently broke up with a guy I was dating exclusively. I found out he had a gf and was cheating on her with me and cheating on me too because he was seeing both of us. I sent him a text teling him I know about the girl and that were done. Then I went NC and its been 3 days. He did not reply to my text, no sorry or anything. Im having a hard time moving on because i have some questions that i need answers. Why did he cheat on her? Us?; Did he mean what he said when he said "i love you"?; why did he coome back to me when I broke up with him before if he already has a gf? Those are just some questions Im looking for some answers. I want to ask him but I figured it may not be a good idea to do such thing. We started dating May of last year and I broke up with him then he pursued me for several months begging me to give him another chance and I did but it turned out he just broke my heart. We dated three months the second time. Please help me, how do I move on if I always have all these questions running in my mind? It bugs me too that hes with her. I did not tell the gf about "us". Edited September 19, 2013 by MissNoname Edit
HereWeGoAgain1 Posted September 19, 2013 Posted September 19, 2013 You probably aren't going to get any answers and even if you did they wouldn't make you feel any better. His behaviour is just flat out unacceptable and not worth agonising over, just walk way, stick with NC and forget. No doubt it will hurt and you will likely go through all of the usual break up symptoms, there's plenty of advice on these forums to help you through that. The important thing to remember is that his behaviour is no reflection on you. You'll move on to someone great soon and he'll likely get his comeuppance.
Ireallydontknow Posted September 19, 2013 Posted September 19, 2013 Well NC is the way to go. That's the first step to moving on. Next comes the detox. That's the hard part. almost 6 weeks NC here, cheated on. I know the feeling. It's scumy, I have some of the same questions. Here's the thing, You'll never get answers. That's just how it is. So just leave it at that and start picking up the pieces. If I were you I'd say something to the other girl. There is no reason to let him have a fall back girl. He already used you for whatever reason.
lauri Posted September 19, 2013 Posted September 19, 2013 I'm really sorry what happened to you. I feel like my ex could have potentially been doing the same thing over the last 2-3 months before I came home in our long distance relationship. This will take time to realize, but he isn't worth the pain and thoughts you are giving him. There will be absolutely no closure that you will get through this - no matter what he says it will not change what has happened to you. I think the best thing to do is NOT wonder why and ask questions, it is to accept that it is done forever. Delete him out of your life. Delete photos. Cut off his friends on facebook and everything that you have that could remind you or him. Stop worrying about why he is a bad person because it doesn't matter - its better you learn now and know that this guy has no morals and values. I cannot stand cheating. For yourself, stay strong. Don't let yourself go back into that blackhole and open up your wounds further.
Author MissNoname Posted September 19, 2013 Author Posted September 19, 2013 Maybe it also bothers me that I didn't give him a chance to explain. I found out about this girl and texted him about it and said to not contact me anymore.
JDPT Posted September 19, 2013 Posted September 19, 2013 You have a significant amount of evidence to want to deal with this individual any further. Theoretically speaking, if you do have the opportunity to present these questions, the likelihood of him responding truthfully are pretty slim to none. Implement NC immediately and move forward with your life. You already know the type of person he is as he was seeing the two of you simultaneously. It's time to heal and move on.
Author MissNoname Posted September 20, 2013 Author Posted September 20, 2013 The thoughts of him with her keeps bothering me. I felt I wasnt good enough to be respected thats why he lied to me the whole time and stayed with her the whole time he was seeing me. I feel used. How do I get over this feelings. I need some help.
AnyaNova Posted September 20, 2013 Posted September 20, 2013 No. No. No! And no again! Never say that you feel like you weren't good enough to be respected. He wasn't good enough to respect you in the way you deserved. HE wasn't good enough for YOU! I don't usually go bold like that. But, seriously. The way you are thinking about this is likely to cause you to hurt worse. He was a putz with enough issues that he couldn't be a man for anyone. You however, are worthy of honor, respect, love, faithfulness, and being cherished. Got it? Repeat that to yourself every day, over and over, because you are.
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