confused2005 Posted September 19, 2013 Posted September 19, 2013 hter with all my heart and i think she loves me back. At times i feel as though we are two differrent people though. I like cuddling, kissing, sex, telling her how much i love and care for her, romantic type stuff. She used to love these things too except the love and caring part because she was very much hurt in the past and has a difficult time expressing that which i try my hardest to understand. I cannot remember the last time i heard her tell me she loves me, or even say something nice to me. Our sex life has gone down to once a month or less, we sleep under seperate blankets, kiss rarely. I know over time things like that become less frequent but I just do not get it.... we only spend one maybe two nights a week sleeping together, we live about an hour apart. I make sure to let her know how beautiful she looks, how wonderful she smells, and i remind her that i love her. Every so often i will even remind her with a cute text to hopefully put a snile on her face. We also work together so i will bring her dinner to work, even surprised her at work with flowers which i was super embarrased doing. I always make sure to please her in bed, and am great with her daughter. I have always tried to be supportive and help her out, i gladly watch her awesome kid when she needs help. I feel as though i do quite a bit for her and that i am a good boyfriend/ father figure. I also get frustrated by our lack of sex life which will lead to a fight. Am i just a bad person for wanting to be thanked for the things i do, or wanting her to tell me she loves me every nowand then? I am far from a perfect person an at times i can be a real ass because my emotions get the best of me but isnt part of a relationship letting the other person know you care? I know i must be doing something eally wrong in this relationship so any thoughts on this would be helpful. Thanks
deni9 Posted September 19, 2013 Posted September 19, 2013 No not all, you just want to feel appreciated! There is nothing wrong with wanting that. I understand you. I tried to make my ex be happy and give him compliments but he would just ignore me. I tried everything. Got nothing. Till I got fed up with it. I want you to know you deserve everything your are giving. It kinda angers me that she is taking you for granted. But most people are not good in showing affection or appreciation. Is it a bad thing? yeah, because people like you start feeling there is something wrong with them, when in reality there is nothing wrong but awesomeness written all over you. Have you tried talking to her? Asking her if there is something wrong? Communication is the key for every relationship, with out it you guys are just potatoes. Learn how to be open! Maybe she needs someone to listen to her rather than doing things physically. Try it out! I wish you the best! You seem pretty amazing! Don't let anyone change the good in you! if they cant appreciate it then find someone who can, because you deserve that much! 2
pteromom Posted September 19, 2013 Posted September 19, 2013 There are a couple of possibilities here: - she just doesn't care that much about sex and affection and is happy without it (in which case, you guys aren't compatible) - she's distanced herself from you for some reason. Could be something you are doing, or could be something going on with her. What does she say about the lack of sex and affection? When you say you are a real ass, what do you mean by that? If you are being mean, that can certainly kill off a woman's sex drive real quickly.
todreaminblue Posted September 19, 2013 Posted September 19, 2013 i agree with den19, there is absolutely nothing wrong with being affectionate, when i split up with my ex and the months before it was one of the first things i missed the affection, the whispers, the smiles that we shared......its a wonderful thought to show how you feel towards someone, what is bad is when somone rejects that... as far as sex goes .....its great when you get thanks fro what you do for your parnter but doing good things doesnt mean sexual favors in my opinion......making love is part of showing affection, an extension of how you feel, and a physical expression of those feelings...its also a bonding experience......where you shut out everything else and its just you and her..... maybe she is worried about something, have you sat down and actually talked to her about the decline in sex and that you would really would like to make love more often? I dont understand why she wouldnt want to make love more, only she knows the reason why.......maybe a baby sitter and a night out where you and her spend time reconnecting....i never really stopped having sex in a fifteen year relationship whenever he wanted to make love we did, whenever i wanted we did...we never argued over making love.....bar a few times towards the end of the relationship...sex doesnt save a relationship....people communicating however does i know that you shouldnt change i think you sound like a wonderful partner.....everyone argues....everyone has disagreements.....and you getting upset is actually normal as it is normal fro her to get upset at times....just try and communicate how you feel openly and honestly ...it isnt when everything is peachy you see the strength of a relationship and the people in it...but when you hit the rough spots....so i hope it works for you both......and that you end up making mad passionate love regularly...its all in the quality not the quantity of sex in my opinion.........best wishes.,....deb
Recommended Posts