fresh-one Posted September 19, 2013 Posted September 19, 2013 A little back round... Me and my ex were with each other for about 9 years, lived with each other around 6 of them. I'm 26 and she is 25. In those 9 years we have broken up a few times, twice for about a month each, and 1 long one for almost a year. The break up now happened in May so about 4 months ago. In July she had reached out to me via email, told me she loved/hated me, told me she missed me and wanted to get together and talk... Nothing ever came of it. So over thigh past weekend I had the shock of a lifetime, I pull into 7-11, look over at the car to the right, and the she is in the passenger seat of my "friends" car. I litterally started shaking, I felt like she stabbed me in the heart and he stabbed me in the back. These past few days have been rough, a part of me can't stop think wut is going threw her mind and his? They recently went to a show together that my other buddy's band was playin, I wasn't there thank god but I could have been so obviously they don't care. Any thoughts or incites would be appriciated, oh and I'm not a hundred percent sure but it seems they spend all the time together and basically picked with the relationship that we ended, people tell me let it go, forget about it, it's just a rebound, but god does it hurt, I'm now obsessively thinking about the two of them and driving myself nuts... HELP!
yessy21 Posted September 19, 2013 Posted September 19, 2013 Been there done that. Except in my story they got married and now have 2 kids. It hurts but you know what.... at the end of the day... its not worth getting upset at. One of them will do it to the other eventually. Life is not perfect and neither are people. He was never really your friend and she is ... UNA SUCIA. Do yourself a favor. Get all smexy and have the time of your life playing the field again. eventually you will meet someone that will make u understand that nothing else before was going to work because where u will be is where u belong. And... when u meet someone else... make sure u don't judge her for what this chicks done. Everyone is different. 1
HereWeGoAgain1 Posted September 19, 2013 Posted September 19, 2013 Just let it go and accept the fact that it might be a rebound but it also might be serious. Try switching the situation around in your head. What if you'd left her and then you got feelings for one of her friends? Would you ignore them to save pain for your ex? If the connection between you and the new girl was strong enough then probably not. She's moving on and so should you. It sucks that it's a friend and it's in close proximity to you, but people find relationships in the strangest of places and she's doing what makes her happy, as much as it might feel like it, it's not a move to upset you. You should go out and do what makes you happy too.
barky2 Posted September 19, 2013 Posted September 19, 2013 Who cares if its a rebound or if it'll last a lifetime. Cut them both out of your life forever. You don't need that and saw BOTH of their true colors. Lucky you. Barky 1
TiredFamilyGuy Posted September 19, 2013 Posted September 19, 2013 This happens. Happened to me also. After 7 year relationship, including 5 of co-habitation. She left then came on to my (then) best friend. Similarly, WTF?, was my reaction. I think on reflection this is, how to put it, just natural. She will know them and what she can expect of them. She will have had an inkling of whether a spark could exist. Not to put too fine a point on it, when you are young all your spouses same sex friends are potential plan B material. I hold that women think this way somewhat more than men do. This guy, he got promoted to plan A. She knows you know now, and that you and her are toast. So realise that. It hurts, you are not over her, she was your first major love. I understand that, I really do. It doesn't feel like it now, but you are lucky to have the clear signal instead of being messed around forever. You are young. You really are lucky - this is as good as a starter marriage without the hassle of a divorce, look at it like that. As for him, never get in touch, wait for him to get in touch with you, if he ever does. He will feel within his rights - what was he to do - ask you before dating your ex? - but will likely be conscious nonetheless of having broken some unspoken rule of guy solidarity, and feel abashed. Your choice then to reciprocate or not. As an aside after my then buddy and my ex broke up, which took not long, my ex bud moved heaven and earth to get back into my good graces. This never really worked as the trust had gone. 1
Author fresh-one Posted September 19, 2013 Author Posted September 19, 2013 Yes, I walked right over to the car and said seriously with a friend of mine, seriously, her exact words to me were I don't like you. So I walked away and saw him coming out of 711 so I waked up to him and said seriously are you f'n serious, his exact words were WUT the put his head down and walked away... Oh and just a side note if you can beleive it or not in the summer of 2006 she filed a rape complaint on this guys cousin, that's the sickest part of all of this to me
Chi townD Posted September 19, 2013 Posted September 19, 2013 Yes, I walked right over to the car and said seriously with a friend of mine, seriously, her exact words to me were I don't like you. So I walked away and saw him coming out of 711 so I waked up to him and said seriously are you f'n serious, his exact words were WUT the put his head down and walked away... Oh and just a side note if you can beleive it or not in the summer of 2006 she filed a rape complaint on this guys cousin, that's the sickest part of all of this to me Well, then be glad that you're away from this nutcase. She was probably shocked to see you there and she can live with the guilt on how she destroys lives. Time to find a girl that isn't so bat sh*t crazy.
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