Why do we become a much better person after getting over someone?

[Kitchen]

I have seen Barky and others mention that you become "10x a better person" once you get over your ex than you were before you met them. I have also experienced this in my own life. The last time when I moved past someone, my social life blossomed, I became a lot more extroverted, talkative and funnier than I ever was before I met that girlfriend. And it ultimately led me to finding a girl that was much better, whom I am trying to get over now. Was it all a coincidence? Do you really become better than you were before? Why?

[melell]

I think we put so much energy in our relationships that we lose ourselves. Everything revolves around that partnership. When it ends we do things to make us better, because improving ourselves makes us feel better, it makes us happy with ourselves. We end up better people, and happier people.

 

Nothing beats it in my opinion.

[todreaminblue]

i agree with the other poster you tend to lose yourself especially in long relationships you forget what you wanted your dreams your passions become not as significant as helping a partner achieve theirs......then when you dont have that relationship any more you go back there to your dreams your hopes and the high aspirations you never thought might happen and when you revisit all the things you hoped for and aspired to achieve, you go with life experience and a better knowledge of how to get things done....

 

 

i dont think i am ten times better though...i think i have more experience, more resilience than what i was before my relationship ..but i havent really changed......except i have had to try and be mum and dad to five kids...thats an experience ...lol....i do my best like i always have tried to do......little bit smarter.......maybe...maybe not.....smilin...deb

[LostOne1]

i agree with the other poster you tend to lose yourself especially in long relationships you forget what you wanted your dreams your passions become not as significant as helping a partner achieve theirs......then when you dont have that relationship any more you go back there to your dreams your hopes and the high aspirations you never thought might happen and when you revisit all the things you hoped for and aspired to achieve, you go with life experience and a better knowledge of how to get things done....

 

 

i dont think i am ten times better though...i think i have more experience, more resilience than what i was before my relationship ..but i havent really changed......except i have had to try and be mum and dad to five kids...thats an experience ...lol....i do my best like i always have tried to do......little bit smarter.......maybe...maybe not.....smilin...deb

I think that's the problem. The GOOD relationships have BOTH partners helping each other reach their goals.

 

Although what I seem to find is many times the woman may give up her dreams to make the mans dreams come true. Eg. Michelle Obama

 

But the reason why it works for those woman I think is because they make it their OWN dream too. Therefore, both partners are fighting for the same thing.

 

A problem happens when two people are fighting for different dreams and cannot support each other through them.

[keepontruckin]

We become better due to a lot of reasons... It's just like having had a few different jobs... We learn more things than if we had only worked for one employer all our lives... They call it "experience":laugh:

 

I don't think we become 10X better, however... Just a little bit better, and wiser. Maybe more like 5%, if there could even be a figure that could describe it!

 

Remember, our first loves fell in love with us initially because of whom we were then... So, something must've been right at the time!

 

If you can be equal to or better than you were at that time, you are ahead of the game...

[hurts2death]

when you are dumped out of longterm rl and your first love its like they throw you in hell you do everything you can to escape it..

 

that power leads to success in general

 

 

deb i didnt know you have 5 kids....you must be a very courage person

 

rep from john

[stormer1092]

I know personally I put energy into the relationship and kind of lost myself in the process without knowing it. Now that I'm single my career is really taking off because all that energy is still there but no going towards something else.