texinh Posted September 19, 2013 Posted September 19, 2013 So we have only been dating for a month and after a great trip we had together, he broke it off because he felt that we don't match for a long term relationship. It all happened so fast and ended so quick so I was shocked not ready to face the truth. I felt that it was all my fault because I said stupid thing that I don't mean it and misled him to think that I am not physically attracted to him and that I am with him just because he can help me with a lot of troubles that I am having in my life. He was afraid that if this relationship progressed further he would get hurt eventually. So I did the most stupid thing is to beg him to think again and spend some time to understand me more. He agreed but told me that it's not going to change anything. I still text him and he still replies, but I can tell that the feeling is not there anymore. I have fallen hard for him and cant forget about the fun we had and those nights we spent together. How do I explain to him so that I am not who he thinks I am? I know it's silly because it has only been a month but i feel so safe, secure and happy around him. He is the perfect guy that I have always wanted. This whole thing happened because I was not sensitive enough to care about what I say and I am not ready to let it go just because of that. However, after giving it some thought, I think that it's better to agree with his decision even when I still cannot stop thinking about him every night. Should I meet him one more time to say tell him that I respect his decision? If not then what do I have to do and what do I have to say?
Author texinh Posted September 19, 2013 Author Posted September 19, 2013 Can anyone give me an advice please? I dont want to lose him yet
forgetmenot75 Posted September 19, 2013 Posted September 19, 2013 Nothing you can do about it. His decision wasn't based on what you said. He just didn't feel you were a good long term match. You have to accept this, stop communicating, and go no contact. I'm sorry you're hurting so much. Nothing you say can make him change his mind right now. Stay no contact.
Author texinh Posted September 19, 2013 Author Posted September 19, 2013 So after asking him to give me a second chance, I will just disappear? I'm hoping to do something so that he will think of me again and I can get him back.
forgetmenot75 Posted September 19, 2013 Posted September 19, 2013 No, DO NOT ASK HIM A SECOND CHANCE. He won't give it to you, and you'll look just pathetic.
Author texinh Posted September 19, 2013 Author Posted September 19, 2013 No, DO NOT ASK HIM A SECOND CHANCE. He won't give it to you, and you'll look just pathetic. I did ask him let me try again when I met him 2 days ago after he called me on the phone to break up. I still texted him a few times these 2 days and he still replies. So you think I should just drop it here and move on without saying anything to him, like I have given some thought about it and I agree with his decision?
CC12 Posted September 19, 2013 Posted September 19, 2013 Should I meet him one more time to say tell him that I respect his decision? No, don't do this. There is no need for this conversation. You don't need to tell him you respect his decision to break up with you. You can show that respect by not contacting him anymore. If not then what do I have to do and what do I have to say? Do and say nothing. You can't change his mind. You're blaming the breakup on some stupid thing you said, but honestly, there was probably a lot more to it. He wasn't into it. I know it sucks because you felt like you really connected with a great guy, but it really seems like you're clutching way too hard. This was a one-month fling, and it didn't work out. Meet more people.
Kizza Posted September 19, 2013 Posted September 19, 2013 I understand how you feel. I have recently been in a position where I was in a short term relationship that did not work out. It was intense and amazing and exciting and then suddenly bang!!! it's all gone llike heroin taken away from an addict... it is tough ... you should listen to the other posters. He has made his decision, been decent about it and told you straight up rather than shrug his shoulders and say to himself "hey, this chick digs me, might as well keep banging her until I get bored or find someone else" If you keep at him, you will just look like a total fool and be responsible for your own self esteem being crushed to pieces, It is not worth it trust me. Stop contacting him and do other things because this endeavor is futile. He has your number and if he changes his mind of his own accord then trust me, he will contact you. When a guy truly likes a girl he WILL contact her. Don't you want to be with someone who WANTS to contact you and be with you? Where is the excitement if you badger or talk someone into being with you. There is none.
KAOJ Posted September 19, 2013 Posted September 19, 2013 There isn't anything you can do, it's his call. Agreed! But I still have to ask....why did you tell him is just helpful to your current state of mind or situation or whatever? (I am reading that) You basically just told him he is convienant and you were using him to help you with a hard time. Why?
Author texinh Posted September 21, 2013 Author Posted September 21, 2013 Agreed! But I still have to ask....why did you tell him is just helpful to your current state of mind or situation or whatever? (I am reading that) You basically just told him he is convienant and you were using him to help you with a hard time. Why? I didnt tell him that. He assumes that I must be using him if I am not physically attracted to him. I told him my problems but I never think of using him.
Author texinh Posted September 21, 2013 Author Posted September 21, 2013 Update on my story: I feel that if I cant tell him what's on my mind and that Im not trying anymore, I cant get over it. So I texted him yesterday and asked if I can see him to talk. He replied saying that he was going to call me later but he didn't. So I thought I'm done here. I don't want to think about him anymore. But he called me this morning, saying that he was going to call last night but he forgot. And he asked if I want to tell him good thing or bad thing. He kept insisting so I asked what he thinks I am going to say. He said "I think you're going to break up with me". I just told him we would find out tomorrow. After hanging up, he texted me immediately, saying that I sound really angry with him. I am so confused now. I dont know if he still cares or he just feels pity for me. I still dont know if I should see him tomorrow or just disappear like you guys advise me to.
HereWeGoAgain1 Posted September 21, 2013 Posted September 21, 2013 Update on my story: I feel that if I cant tell him what's on my mind and that Im not trying anymore, I cant get over it. So I texted him yesterday and asked if I can see him to talk. He replied saying that he was going to call me later but he didn't. So I thought I'm done here. I don't want to think about him anymore. But he called me this morning, saying that he was going to call last night but he forgot. And he asked if I want to tell him good thing or bad thing. He kept insisting so I asked what he thinks I am going to say. He said "I think you're going to break up with me". I just told him we would find out tomorrow. After hanging up, he texted me immediately, saying that I sound really angry with him. I am so confused now. I dont know if he still cares or he just feels pity for me. I still dont know if I should see him tomorrow or just disappear like you guys advise me to. Look at it this way. If he was really into you your phone would be ringing itself to death right now and he'd be eager to talk to you. If you really feel it's necessary to have a face to face even just to clear your head then by all means push it but I think sometime soon be it before or after the talk you're going to have to initiate NC and start moving on. Sorry, that's just what it sounds like to me.
GB25 Posted September 21, 2013 Posted September 21, 2013 I think he is still somewhat interested...if he wasnt he wouldnt of bothered calling you this morning to say anything he just would of not called..also when you texted him last night he could of just completely ignored if he was totally done with you.. So yeah I think he is still around..
Author texinh Posted September 21, 2013 Author Posted September 21, 2013 You should understand why you gave him that message. Maybe it was the truth? And he picked it up? [if it wasn't] Why would you do that to someone who took you seriously enough to take you on a trip? I'll tell you this: the only way to change his mind is [on you] to make a case that whatever you said above was not the case [and do that only if it isn't - to avoid hurting him later]. Sorry but who wouldn't broke up with you after hearing that? Good Lord. I am sure that it wasn't the case. But I dont know how to convince him. Whatever I say now he wouldnt believe me.
ConfusedHumanBeing Posted September 21, 2013 Posted September 21, 2013 I am sure that it wasn't the case. But I dont know how to convince him. Whatever I say now he wouldnt believe me. Stop talking to him. It doesnt matter anymore. He doesnt want to be with you end of story. Is that harsh? Yes, but its the truth. You arent going to "convince" him nor are you going make him realize his "mistake." It was a month of dating so lets put this in perspective here. Yes, it sucks, but it was only a month.
heartshaped Posted September 21, 2013 Posted September 21, 2013 I think you need to cut the bull here. Meet him in person and lay everything out. Tell him that you've fallen hard for him, that you are physically attracted to him, and that while you can't promise you wouldn't hurt him in the long term that is not your intention. I'd also ask him if he really wants to be with you and see where things go or not. Time to woman up. All he can say is that he's sorry, but he doesn't see a future with you doesn't want to be with you. Without having this conversation you'd always wonder.
loversquarrel Posted September 21, 2013 Posted September 21, 2013 So, you have been with him for one month and you feel completely heartbroken? You opened your mouth and said something you shouldn't have? You admit to having problems....I think you should work on the problems of not being so clingy and learn some impulse control. You managed to scare him away. Smart men tend to be "unsettled" by women who lack impulse control. It is usually an indicator of bad things to come. Live and learn.
Sparkle304 Posted September 22, 2013 Posted September 22, 2013 ****No guy who is interested in you forgets to call. This is the lamest excuse ever!*** OP, would you just forget to call him??
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