lionoftheforum Posted September 19, 2013 Posted September 19, 2013 (edited) From a guys perspective, you have to… know what to say As you would have to do in any situation in life. Say online? Why waste your time? Make a single witty/funny opener and cut and paste Ad nauseam. Make sure to do a few slight sentence change-ups to beat the repetition scanning software. When you finally get a response that has clear signals of originality and intent; then have the written conversation. That's the only way it works for males, quantity. Quality WILL go down the rat hole due to what others have already pointed out... dead user accounts, overwhelmed females ignoring messages, females not being able to keep up with messages, and inflated female egos that becomes WAY more picky than they could get away with in real life if they actually have a goal of meeting and relating to someone. OLD... total fail for men. Edited September 19, 2013 by lionoftheforum
StanMusial Posted September 19, 2013 Posted September 19, 2013 OLD gets a lot of negative, a lot. I understand why. My experience 2 years ago was positie though. I ended up dating a woman for 12 months, it did not work out for various reasons, but I did meet someone. I actually met a lot of woman. I chose the last one I met to date ironically. I see OLD almost like a bar or any other social gathering place where folks hang out (a party, a festival, an event, etc). Guy walks in, walks up to a girl, starts a conversation, she replies, or not. Girl walks up to a guy, strkes up a conversation, guy responds, or not. Why do men bash OLD, really bash the women on OLD, because they do not get responses to their messages? Why do women bash OLD for getting "hit" on by too many men? Teah, it's a numbers game, should you chose to look at it that way. To me it was just another means to meet people, not the end all. Why do men say you have to change who you are, be a player, to get a "hit". I could not disagree more. I found, 2 years ago, just being me, worked well. If you have to change who you are to get a womans attention, well, then, IMHO, you have other things to work on and probably should not be on OLD. One of my female friends went on Match a few weeks ago. I was surprsied she did as to me she is a catch: 34, Beautiful, funny, witty, outdoorsy, Athletic, very social, great body. She got 80 emails her first day. She eventually responded to 2, met 1 and the guy was a creep she said. She emailed 2 and never got a reply. I looked at her profile for her and why those 2 guys did not reply confuses me... 80 emails in one day? See, for the average guy trying to get with her, or someone similar, its like pissing in the wind.
salparadise Posted September 19, 2013 Posted September 19, 2013 You sure can tell who's had success and who hasn't by the negativity quotient of their posts about online dating. You must understand that the majority of people on LS are not here because they've found loving, fulfilling relationships. Same is true of the dating sites. Be realistic––it's a mixed bag, and almost certainly heavy on the type that might be considered undateable by many. That's because the ones who are emotionally healthy and have their act together often find someone within a few months and close their accounts. The fact is that 1 in 5 marriages these days are the result of the couple having met online. If you approach it with a realistic perspective, don't get too invested, and understand that you're looking for the proverbial needle in a haystack, your chances of finding a great person are pretty good. Here's a link to some statistics that will be of interest. I can't vouch for integrity of the data, but assume it's good. OLD Stats 1
Babolat Posted September 19, 2013 Posted September 19, 2013 OLD Stats Interesting survey... "By 48, Men have twice as many online pursuers as Women" At 47 I am getting close to my wheelhouse baby! 1
paperboy48 Posted September 19, 2013 Posted September 19, 2013 (edited) Here's my stats (just to show there's hope and its not all bad): Fall 2012 - I was on OLD for two weeks and had a date within 2 weeks, which turned into a 2nd date and a third and eventually an exclusive relationship that lasted 7-8 months. I also had two dates each with two other nice ladies (good-looking ladies) in the first six weeks of being on OLD. You want to know how many times I initiated an email or a wink? Twice - "2 Times". I was still a mess from my divorce and couldn't handle the rejection of not getting responses. Not bad results, right? Fall 2013 - I have been online (for the second time) for exactly one week. I have a date for tomorrow night with a pretty girl whom so far seems pretty nice! I have emailed 3 Ladies and have received 10 or so emails from ladies online. One woman has not emailed me back. I am an average decent looking guy. I am by far not an big-throbbing muscular guy with jet black hair and dark skin. No w, I am in my mid-thirties. I have heard if your in your twenties, the women are not a nice or responsive to the gents. Just saying its not all bad! Good luck. Edited September 19, 2013 by paperboy48 1
Lokie Posted September 19, 2013 Posted September 19, 2013 Babolat, I can attest to the truth of that statement! Start pursuing the women 50+. We are lonely, horny and desperate... except, dammit, we're also wise at this age. (Oh, to be naive again!) 50's the new 40 anyway, doncha know? ;-) 1
deathandtaxes Posted September 19, 2013 Posted September 19, 2013 80 emails in one day? See, for the average guy trying to get with her, or someone similar, its like pissing in the wind. I wonder if 75 of those 80 were along the lines of "Sup. You're hot."? 1
Babolat Posted September 19, 2013 Posted September 19, 2013 I wonder if 75 of those 80 were along the lines of "Sup. You're hot."? Yes, they were. So to hear all the OLD complaints on here from men, and some of the success stories from men on here, figure it out, right? Would a man walk up to woman not on OLD and say "You are HOT!" and expect a date....for some reason, on OLD, they seem to think that is the way to catch em...I dunno..seems like common sense to me.
waiting4u Posted September 19, 2013 Posted September 19, 2013 As a woman: -Lots of old creepy dudes -Lots of shirtless pics in the bathroom mirror -Everyone on there is "laid back" -Emailing for weeks without any mention of a meetup -Married men -Guys creeping for booty -Guys who want to text night and day before you even meet (DESPERATE) -A lot of wasted time God the emailing and texting stuff is so annoying. I mean, seriously, WHY are you texting me "Hey, what's up, I'm just cleaning my house." I don't care. Ask me out already. 2
waiting4u Posted September 19, 2013 Posted September 19, 2013 As a woman, expect an overwhelming amount of messages from lots and lots of men which will possibly lead to an inflated ego and turn you into one of the stuck up precious princesses who prowl such sites feeding on attention. If you can stay grounded, well done. This really is kind of true.
StanMusial Posted September 19, 2013 Posted September 19, 2013 I wonder if 75 of those 80 were along the lines of "Sup. You're hot."? Well that's not really my point. Honestly if I was a girl, I wouldn't even OPEN that many emails, much less read them. Its simple math really. Disclaimer: I tried POF and got no replies to my emails. I have a steady now, but when I was single, it was better to get feedback right away from a girl as opposed to throwing up a bunch of emails and hoping one would get through. If it works for you, and you have the time to invest in it, more power to you.
salparadise Posted September 19, 2013 Posted September 19, 2013 Interesting survey... "By 48, Men have twice as many online pursuers as Women" Well darn, I liked it better when I was convinced it was my boyish good looks and charming wit that was pulling them in. I guess it must be true though, because I'm getting replies from nearly all messages sent out, plus several messages a week from women I didn't message first. I'm concentrating on the late 40s, early 50s age group. There are some really nice, attractive women around that age, and well balanced and easy to relate to (usually). I did waste last Saturday on a nutcase though - rode the bike 200 miles each way to see her and only stayed long enough to drink a glass of water. Oh well, I had the clues but didn't cull her like I should've.
Shaun-Dro Posted September 20, 2013 Posted September 20, 2013 (edited) I have recently signed-up with an OLD site, and am somewhat wary of what to expect. How do people transition from OLD to meeting in person or pursuing private communication? What are the norms? And what have been your experiences? This is going to be quite an interesting experience. It's a shame you still can't find the courage to approach the man that you've been seeking. I'm sure you see him every other day but you do nothing and now you want to continue to play the waiting game via OLD? What to expect from this new experience? A big fat goose egg. Edited September 20, 2013 by Shaun-Dro error
crederer Posted September 20, 2013 Posted September 20, 2013 So people lie about their activities? When I read a profile and they state they are an "avid hiker/cyclist/runner/etc" I automatically discard cause I'm not an avid one of any of those. I'm up for it at the drop of a hat but I take it as these are their passions and they would leave me in the dust and thus not a good match.
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