KeepItBoosted Posted September 18, 2013 Posted September 18, 2013 Is there ever a time when you know it's right to try again with an ex? Do you have to be 100% completely over them and over all their past transgressions before you can give a new relationship with them another shot? What do you look for in their words, or more importantly, actions to know that they genuinely want to start over? I guess it depends on you personally and where your at in your own life. I only ask because I keep feeling like there is a war within myself, my heart wants, my mind knows better. I wrote a post about my situation for those who don't know where I am coming from. Also, this is really just for some backup at the moment as I know I can't look past the things she has done (at least not right now). I am in no way seriously considering writing her back. I just know it doesn't feel any better knowing she wants to try again with me because all I hear is, the guy I really left you for no longer wants me, or I'm not into him anymore, so I though I would come back. 19 days NC from my end...I think I'll grab a real expensive craft beer tonight!
Ireallydontknow Posted September 18, 2013 Posted September 18, 2013 You'll know when you know. Also you are only 19 days NC? Come on you shouldn't even be thinking about it. You'll be moved on to better things by then.
PR08 Posted September 18, 2013 Posted September 18, 2013 In all honesty, I have never personally heard of a successful, long-term reconciliation before a period of time measured in triple digits, not double.
GTNBTTR Posted September 18, 2013 Posted September 18, 2013 If you contact your ex you need to be certain that she will not do this same thing to you down the road. You don't want that quick fix that's for sure. With a name like keepitboosted you probably have a turbocharged car. Why not modify it, work on it, and let it take up your time? lol
Author KeepItBoosted Posted September 19, 2013 Author Posted September 19, 2013 Oh I know I am no where near ready to consider anything with her. Just battling the demons. And yes I do have a turbo'd car that is my pride and joy at the moment. I have been very active and busy with school, work, hobbies so that has helped. I never had any issues doing things on my own when we were together so I guess thats a plus. This Allagash Curieux and jammin on some blues is making me happy right now.
forgetmenot75 Posted September 19, 2013 Posted September 19, 2013 well, after 60 days no contact you can re evaluate if you want to try again. Most probably you wont, because you should have done a work to move on and look for someone better...
Mariposa10 Posted September 19, 2013 Posted September 19, 2013 well, after 60 days no contact you can re evaluate if you want to try again. Most probably you wont, because you should have done a work to move on and look for someone better... Hmmm, 60 days doesn't sound like enough time to really know...
Author KeepItBoosted Posted September 19, 2013 Author Posted September 19, 2013 After a 5yr relationship, and after she already slept with someone a week after our "break", proceeded to string me along for 2+ months all while telling me the things someone wants to hear "This is going to strengthen us" "I feel like when we first started dating" "Its always been only you, i am ready to recommit to us when you are" "I love you and miss you" you name it, i heard it. You know what she was doing that whole time? banging dudes, and really trying to get a relationship started with her boss because she felt the same towards him as she did when we first met. Never have I been so blind, and never will I again be so naive. Yea, 60 days...maybe in 60 years... She is one sandy beach.
Waz Posted September 19, 2013 Posted September 19, 2013 Quit reading these books and believing what they're saying. There's no specific time. What are you, a program? The right time is when you move on, when a contact will be initiated and if the other part wants the same with you. You won't move on in 60 days, nor do i. And reconciliation can be done after both parties have moved on, so it would be more genuine. I may need 14 months to move on, you may need 2 weeks, the other guy may need 80 years. Everyone is different. When that happens (when you move on), and when the circumstances bring you this option to think about trying again, then you can think about it. Right now you are just torture yourself mate. Don't do it. 2
Author KeepItBoosted Posted September 19, 2013 Author Posted September 19, 2013 The thing is she did come back, apologetic and what not, and that made it so much harder. I know she still loves me, and I still love her. This is a constant struggle to not reach out, I know we could give it another go but it feels too recent for things to have changed that much. I don't want to give in but this is eating at me day by day. Some days I am fine and the thoughts of what happened keep me from getting too down, then there are those days like today where I can't focus for more than a few minutes before thinking about the what if's...what if we did give it another go, what if it worked, what if she is sincere. And then there are the other what if's...what if she found out the other guy wasn't anything special and now is lonely so she comes back, what if it's all just another string pulling, what if we do try again and she realizes now that I'm back she doesn't feel the same anymore. So many what if's, I hate this
BC1980 Posted September 19, 2013 Posted September 19, 2013 I don't know if you need to go back to this girl. I mean, telling you she loves you but is having sex with other guys. She doesn't exactly sound like someone that wants a real relationship. She sounds like someone who gets bored easily, and she will dump you again when it is convenient. That is hard to hear, but try to see it logically. I'm on about a month of NC, and there have been a few days where I wanted to contact him. I didn't because it would be pointless, but it's normal to feel that way. Always remember that contacting your ex is not likely to make you feel any better in the end. You've just gotta work through the pain.
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