susanl Posted November 23, 2004 Posted November 23, 2004 I don't even know where to begin. For those of you who have been following the story or not --long story short--been dating this wonderful guy for over a year , I love him , care for him, his kids have accepted me , he has a bitch of an ex wife--but he treats her well. Well the gist of this is we talked or didn't about marriage tonight (we already own a house), he is scared doesn't want to commit, won't talk so you get the point. I made a great dinner, kids go to ex's house --think we are going to have a great evening and then this---so he goes to watch tv I clean up after dinner then clean the garage(needed to be done). Go upstairs he is fast asleep, decide to go home to my house so I don't have to get up at 5 to wake up my son for school etc----he just gets on line and says well guess you decided to leave guess dinner is off for tomorrow talk to you sometime next week. Now to intergect--we had plans for his kids and mine all teenagers to get together with us and go out to dinner since they are with our respective ex's for turkey day. Would have been a great time then we were spending thanksgiving with his family---which I was looking forward to. So now what do I do. My first thought is just to say screw you--be by yourself for the holidays --but what does this prove--also the kids were looking forward to seeing each other. Also do I be stubborn and not call and wait for him or what?? SOMEBODY HELP PLEASE!!!!I AM LOST
brashgal Posted November 23, 2004 Posted November 23, 2004 Sounds like some passive-aggressive behavior on both your parts. Maybe some time apart is in order.
missopinionated Posted November 23, 2004 Posted November 23, 2004 First mistake is letting him leave the kitchen and not asking him to help you clean up. You're not the maid. Second mistake was cleaning the garage after dinner. Had to be done? Right then??? Third mistake: leaving him without saying goodby. How nasty is that to wake up expecting someone to be there and finding yourself alone in the house. C'mon girl, get smart.
Author susanl Posted November 23, 2004 Author Posted November 23, 2004 Whoa back up. He was watching tv while I cleaned up--I offered he had worked all day I thought I would be nice--sorry. NExt no he had gone upstairs which I didn't know and we had talked all weekend about cleaning the garage so I figured why not--I wasn't tired wasn't ready for bed and just figured it would be nice and then we could hop in the shower. Thirdly what happened to saying goodnight to someone when you go to bed--I have always heard don't go to bed mad but I always thought you said goodnight to someone you cared about. Now I am not making excuses for leaving I know it wasn't the right thing to do but come on and place blame on both sides and besides what about the part where he is afraid to talk and won't commit. Now on top of that do I just pick up the phone today and say "what the ### is going on" or do I give him time to cool off and be apart and maybe miss me??? Thanks for the reply
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