D-Day..

[loveiswar101]

Well been nearly 2 weeks since this has all happened and seen her just once and a few texts.

 

Well D-Day it is, I'm going into her work today and taking her a nice coffee and pastry (was thinking flowers) and telling her I have booked a restaurant on Saturday night and would like to take her to dinner.

 

I was the dumper in a rash, foolish, rush of blood over nothing big. But boy as it opened my eyes to where I am in life and what I want.

 

Wish me luck guys...

[StyleOnEm]

So what happened? Are we all invited to the wedding next week?

[loveiswar101]

Hi, well all went ok, popped in, she looked hot/awesome. (Gee I sound needy). Anyway chatted for a while, told her I'd booked a table and she looked happy again. Chatted more, went on abit when I look back, then left. Anyhow she phoned up last night cancelled Sat (Bummed) but re-scheduled for Sunday night. Just means another day before I see her again.

 

I mean after seeing her every other day I'd now just seen her like 3 times in 2 weeks. Argh.

 

This morning woke up and relised she's busy and got to accept that and move on and be patience.

 

Oh well, my fight goes on. I do feel I got to pull away from when I sound needy. it so bloody hard...

[loveiswar101]

Ok, after being together for a year I made a huge stupid mistake and boke up. Now trying to rekindle but seems she just like that doesn't care.

 

Went on first get together for meal and pool few drinks (never spoke once about what had happened).

 

Then dropped her home, sat in car for a while a chatted. Few kisses (nice). Then she asks me when shall we see each other again (ears pricked up, heart beats faster). I said I'm free whenever and then just goes "im busy all the way to next week" now over dinner she tell's me she's got the whole up coming weekend off. Gee did my heart drop.

 

Now this is where I screwed up, being needy I say "that's a fair way away and after living in each others pockets for 6 months it's hard to wait that long but up to her" gee I was going well all night till that moment. Now I looked needy and she says well maybe maybe Thursday night we could have a drink. Well I forced it, I want her to spend time with me, not have too.

 

I can't cope with this, this is hard, damn hard....Still no sleep and still thinking about her 24/7.

 

Am I doing the right thing hoping for this to work, but think it's so easy for her and that at some point she may just not worry about us.

Edited September 23, 2013 by loveiswar101

[heartshaped]

Just take a deep breath. You broke up with her. You hurt her deeply even if you didn't mean to. Now she's cautious of you. Be patient with her and be there when she needs you. Don't be overly needy or try to press things.

[loveiswar101]

Thanks, I know I hurt her and I was wrong. But it doesn't matter how many deep breaths I take at this point I can't hack it. I'm in so much pain it beyond joke. I just feel if I don't reach out she won't bother, I mean I just need a hint anything that down the track that it's possible we can /will be together. In one way she's letting me date her but is just content seeing me when she wants, I mean she puts it out there like a kiss over dinner last night, holds had from car to pub, kisses in car then BOOM i see you maybe next week.

 

It's like in 2 weeks she's just done a 180 and is happy to be single. For god sake 6 mornings a week we would wake up next to each other, how can one person just change so quick.

 

Sorry just gotta let it out...

[loveiswar101]

Well just to vent, after a much needed conversation with her yesterday it finally came about she is happy with the process I'm doing of getting myself sorted but wants a man, real man, some to look after her etc. She has now completely gone into her shell with her work and boys. It's a shame as I do love this woman with all my heart but it seems that's not enough at present.

 

While lying in bed I've decided to let her go and do what she wants, I personally have to pick myself up and set my goals of moving out and finding a new place to live and even though I have a job find another one. Really I have to think of me.

 

It's going to be so tough but have to just be strong. Thought I will ask her if I can take her out for her Birthday next weekend and that's it.

 

I've put across all I can what I think of her, apologized many times for rash foolish greedy decision I made. I will focus on me and let her contact me if she want's.