My smile?

[AwptiK]

I've been with this girl for just shy of three months now. Things have been pretty great, but I've run into a little thing early this morning and I don't quite know how to handle it. I'm 22 and she'll be 21 on Friday, for reference.

 

I was at her house overnight last night and her work alarm on her phone went off at 5am, even though she doesn't have work. I reached over and turned it off before we both woke up. Her phone said she had a new text...so curiosity got me and I opened her texts page. Oh, it was just my "I'm here" text from yesterday. The only other texts were from her twin brother. And I don't know why, but I looked. Quick scrolls and it was all just work/normal talk....but then I saw a picture of me.

 

Specifically, a zoomed in picture of my face from one of the few pics we took together the other night. I'm not going to lie, I looked retarded. I dislike how I look clean shaven, which I was at the time. The text caption was "grrrrr! I hate that smile." Her brother just said lol and changed the subject.

 

I don't know how I feel. I seriously felt so awful at the time that I got up an went home. I know it's just a smile, and a single picture, (at a bad angle), but after we've both had a lifetime of lacking self confidence, I felt comfortable enough to do things like make silly faces with her in the other pictures and just be myself.

 

I don't know how to bring it up to her, or even how to talk about it. I want to, because that was a huge shot to my confidence that shed say that on Sunday after we took those a few days earlier.

 

Only other point, is that she is naturally a harsher-seeming girl so maybe I read it as worse than it was. She's had god-awful boyfriends in the past who have really killed her own confidence and willingness to let out her more-delicate sides. But, I've honestly done all I can, and I do all I can, to show her I won't hurt her like that.

 

It just bothers me she speaks so highly of me, but would say that.. Opens up a world of unsureness

[almond]

I can see how this could make you feel insecure, but it is probably nothing to worry about. I wouldn't say it about my partner, but she may have a very close connection with her brother, and she quite possibly discusses every little detail about you. Sure, she may not like a particular face that you make - I hate my boyfriend's face when he dances funnily enough. She might have zoomed and sent it to her brother to make him laugh...it was a funny face, she could have perhaps have meant it to be humorous. I feel that it was somewhat insensitive of her though, and I doubt she'd like you doing the same.

 

Speak to her about it.

 

Please consider that you invaded her privacy by looking through her messages. You will definitely need to apologise for this, and I would expect her to be angry with you. I strongly suggest that you respect her privacy from this point on, especially when it comes to conversations between family. You will have to own up to your wrongdoing first, and resolve it. Only then will you be able to discuss how the picture and text made you feel. You will have to be tactful and understanding in the conversation in order to get your concerns addressed, but I think you should definitely give it a go.

[AwptiK]

Thank you for the thoughts and insight. I know she would be hurt if I had said to anyone "haha look at this face she made". But in truth, I'm the more sensitive one and she just may not have considered my feelings.

 

It may have just been humorous. I'll choose to believe this and if it does continue to bother me then I'll talk to her about it.

 

Quick edit, the picture she sent wasn't one of the humorous ones...just a smile. But yeah..

 

Thanks again

Edited September 18, 2013 by AwptiK

[reflex]

almond might be right about being close to her brother. My sisters do that. They can look for advice, approval or whatever, but it happens.