Albert555 Posted September 18, 2013 Posted September 18, 2013 I am struggling with this breakup still and we have been broken up long enough that I know I should be over it. But it still eats at me. My ex and I dated for like 4 months and we broke up in April. The entire time in our relationship she never really trusted me; she was insecure about me being friends with other girls and who I had been with in past relationships. She thought I wanted to get with one of my friends and, just like, viewed every possible situation as a reason to think i didn't really like her. I'm sure I wasn't perfect (I agreed with my one friend that she was pretty to be nice to her one night when she was acting all downtrodden about guys, and my ex was hurt that I did that. But my relationship with that friend is platonic and always will be). And, yes, I am friends with other girls and am nice and laugh with other girls, but like none of that was trying to hit on them and guys should be able to be friends with other girls when dating a girlfriend, right? Anyway, I really liked this girl and kept trying to answer all her complaints and worries that I did like her and I wasn't trying to get with anything else. I guess she never believed me, because she broke up with me saying "What do you even like about me?" It's killing me because I know I liked her and she didn't believe it. Now she wants nothing to do with me, even though she broke up with me thinking I didn't like her. It's just been hard to get over because the reason she broke up with me was just not accurate; I mean that's not how I felt at all. I feel like I screwed up big-time, although when I was in the relationship I know my actions weren't those that told her "I don't like you".
Philosoraptor Posted September 18, 2013 Posted September 18, 2013 You may not feel this way right now, but you had a huge weight lifted when things ended. You had to constantly lift up someone else and your actions alone were not enough to make her feel any sense of security. Her insecurity is her issue, not one for you to fix, or one that you can fix. You didn't screw up any further than staying with someone who had no trust in you based on her own insecurity. 1
Author Albert555 Posted September 19, 2013 Author Posted September 19, 2013 I appreciate the response. And what you say makes a lot of sense. When I see her at school, though, it just kills me that she doesn't treat me the same way, or think of me the same way. It's hard to think it's not something I did, because something obviously changed to where she wanted to be with me and now she doesn't. She may have never truly trusted me, but at least before she still wanted to be with me and cared about me. Now it's different. I feel I'm the cause of that...
tart6245 Posted September 19, 2013 Posted September 19, 2013 I know how you feel. I was seeing a girl that had told me she had anxiety issues and was going to counseling for it. She ended up sleeping with a stranger and I got angry and said mean things to her after drinking a lot. It was bad. Anyway, she said things like she never liked me, only tolerated me occasionally, etc, during our fight too. I feel bad for her, because she isn't a bad person. She just needs to solve her problems. I am okay most of the time, but when I see her in class, I do get a bit angry and nostalgic that we can't talk or hang out or anything anymore. We aren't speaking and haven't since the fight 3 weeks ago.
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