Can someone tell me what kind of sick game this is????

[enchanted771]

A couple months ago, my coworker introduced me to this guy who she told me wanted to meet me. We chatted less than 10 min. He didnt ask for my phone number, nada. Just small talk. Two weeks pass and my coworker sets up a date. I figured he was shy/nervous or whatever. He cancels. So we were supposed to go the next week. He cancelled because hes on vacation but said we will go out when he returns. Flaky, but whatever. Then he saw me on the street and texts my coworker and said he saw me and when he gets back were going out. Okay, he returned from vacation last week. I told my coworker listen, were not in high school, just give him my number. That was almost a week ago, and he hasnt initiated any contact. Any fool, shy or not can text. I am not saying another word. I mean i dont care how shy a guy is, if your into someone in my opinion, you will not want her to meet someone else so you would at the very least text her. I am annoyed she tried to even set me up with such a shady guy in the first place. I feel it was a complete waste of my time. If you dont have the guts, then dont ask someone to introduce you and start something if you arent going to follow through.

 

Opinions????

[mammasita]

I agree with you. He's flaky, has some weird **** going on and/or whatever the case may be - it's too much.

 

Dust your hands and on to the next.

[enchanted771]

I thought so. If he was straight with me and said look, I like you and still want to take you bla bla bla then I would give him another chance. But at this point, he blew it completely now. Its one thing to be anxious or nervous but no text thats just the final straw. There are plenty of guys who would follow through. Dating is supposed to be fun and exciting, this is just too much to go through just for a first date. No wonder he is still single.

[MidwestUSA]

You coworker did you no favors. Tell her to stop running interference, my two cents. Does she know him well enough to know he'd flake on you?

[sickpuppy]

A couple months ago, my coworker introduced me to this guy who she told me wanted to meet me. We chatted less than 10 min. He didnt ask for my phone number, nada. Just small talk. Two weeks pass and my coworker sets up a date. I figured he was shy/nervous or whatever. He cancels. So we were supposed to go the next week. He cancelled because hes on vacation but said we will go out when he returns. Flaky, but whatever. Then he saw me on the street and texts my coworker and said he saw me and when he gets back were going out. Okay, he returned from vacation last week. I told my coworker listen, were not in high school, just give him my number. That was almost a week ago, and he hasnt initiated any contact. Any fool, shy or not can text. I am not saying another word. I mean i dont care how shy a guy is, if your into someone in my opinion, you will not want her to meet someone else so you would at the very least text her. I am annoyed she tried to even set me up with such a shady guy in the first place. I feel it was a complete waste of my time. If you dont have the guts, then dont ask someone to introduce you and start something if you arent going to follow through.

 

Opinions????

 

That same scenario recently happened to me minus the co-worker in between.

 

I think some people have things going on (issues) or someone else (an ex) still coming in and out of the picture and they don't know what the hell they want so they play the "I like you...No not really, I don't know" game with you without even saying it. Or they simply get off on mind games for some sort of power trip or control as they feel they have no control over something else going on in their lives.

 

It's best to avoid those people and leave them to their own devices. There's no helping them if they can't help themselves. Be glad they showed their hand early.

Edited September 18, 2013 by sickpuppy

[enchanted771]

That same scenario recently happened to me minus the co-worker in between.

 

I think some people have things going on (issues) or someone else (an ex) still coming in and out of the picture and they don't know what the hell they want so they play the "I like you...No not really, I don't know" game. Or they simply get off on mind games for some sort of power trip or control as they feel they have no control over something else going on in their lives.

 

It's best to avoid those people and leave them to their own devices. There's no helping them if they can't help themselves. Be glad they showed their hand early.

Yes, I have to agree. I thought well if you like someone, then you would want to go out with them even if your shy or nervous. Its normal to be that way, which is why I thought if we talked/texted it would put him at ease. Its obvious hes on some kind of power trip so let him find someone young and naive to play his "cat and mouse game" with him. I am so over it.

[waiting4u]

A man did this to me a while back - also a coworker. Texted all the time but never could get together. We had drinks ONCE. Flirted - didn't even kiss - although I think he was sort of expecting me to sleep with him after. He did the push and pull thing and said it was because he has major depression. I thought he was just a flake and finally told him to leave off. Now he avoids me at work - it's kind of funny.

 

It's not you. It's him. Don't waste your time anymore.

[enchanted771]

A man did this to me a while back - also a coworker. Texted all the time but never could get together. We had drinks ONCE. Flirted - didn't even kiss - although I think he was sort of expecting me to sleep with him after. He did the push and pull thing and said it was because he has major depression. I thought he was just a flake and finally told him to leave off. Now he avoids me at work - it's kind of funny.

 

It's not you. It's him. Don't waste your time anymore.

He is a grown man, owns his own business, etc who the heck acts this way? he isnt 20 year old he is in his 30's and acts this way? he seemed well spoken, normal, down to earth when we spoke but obviously has issues if he is behaving his way. We were supposed to get together for drinks. It isnt like it was a five star restaurant date. Funny thing is, I never asked to meet him he asked to meet me, but you snooze you lose.

[waiting4u]

I know - this guy did too. Very good-looking and speaks well. He doesn't appear to have social anxiety in professional situations. He's quite charming. Who knows? It's a shame but it wasn't meant to be.

[enchanted771]

I know - this guy did too. Very good-looking and speaks well. He doesn't appear to have social anxiety in professional situations. He's quite charming. Who knows? It's a shame but it wasn't meant to be.

True. Behind closed doors who knows how he really is. It is a shame, but its best to walk away and never look back.

[sickpuppy]

Yes, I have to agree. I thought well if you like someone, then you would want to go out with them even if your shy or nervous. Its normal to be that way, which is why I thought if we talked/texted it would put him at ease. Its obvious hes on some kind of power trip so let him find someone young and naive to play his "cat and mouse game" with him. I am so over it.

 

 

I had the same thing happen with a girl I work with who's 27 going on 28. Maybe dropping hints, then again maybe they weren't etc. I found out after I asked her to go out and she gave me the cowards (yes) blowoff: Sounds good to me I can always meet you there. Then told her I could pick her up. She replied: I'll let you know. I knew right away the girl wasn't going and never asked again.

 

Previously telling me to text her two seperate times in person (though I thought she might have someone) and had my number too but never texted me. (She'd supposedly been dumped by her BF six months previosly).

 

I'd thought MAYBE she was dropping hints for me to ask to meet but never actually got asked by her to meet her out.

 

I'd even had a co-worker I know who works near her ask me (though she may've just been asking me as she's like a second mom to me.) If I had a girlfriend. To which I shouldn't have said but said: "Why? Do I need one?" and then her asking me if I liked anyone. I couldn't tell if she was asking for that girl or simply just asking so I never questioned it.

 

I'd never had anyone tell me she liked me either.

 

The funny thing was another co-worker had told me (whom I joke with) that she'd been by her area and NEVER talked to her but knew I liked her and said she gave her a look up and down and a very dirty look. So I thought maybe she thought I had something going on with that woman as she's always hugging me and kissing me on the cheek. (It's a joke but I don't know if she'd been watching and saw her do that a few times and thought I was with her or not.)

 

That SAME night all of a sudden out of the blue I get a text from her for the first time telling me she's going to this place near her we'd always chatted about as I go there pretty often myself.(I don't even think she meant it for me. I think she simply sent it to get a reply from me as she gave my co-worker that dirty look earlier in the day. Almost like she was "getting back" at her for possibly thinking we had something going on or something. Like she couldn't ask her but like "Oh. I got him to reply." It was odd as hell.)

 

I should've asked her a while back instead of letting myself wonder if she really wanted to meet or not.

 

In the end when I'd asked I was still confused as I wasn't sure if I'd blown it by not asking her up front much sooner, or she thought I was going with the other lady I joke with.

 

She gave me the polite blow off with some extremely lame excuse then in person that wasn't needed. Almost as if she expected me to ask her again after I took the hint the first time she politely blew me off and wasn't going to ask again.

 

I still think the girl was playing games and or has someone in the picture already or an ex and was getting off on playing whatever game with me. I'd never chased her and kept my distance but I guess in the end she was looking for some sort of satisfaction of having me ask her to meet then doing the "nice" blow off. MAybe she was pissed I didn't chase her but in the end I'm glad I didn't.

Edited September 18, 2013 by sickpuppy

[sickpuppy]

A man did this to me a while back - also a coworker. Texted all the time but never could get together. We had drinks ONCE. Flirted - didn't even kiss - although I think he was sort of expecting me to sleep with him after. He did the push and pull thing and said it was because he has major depression. I thought he was just a flake and finally told him to leave off. Now he avoids me at work - it's kind of funny.

 

It's not you. It's him. Don't waste your time anymore.

 

 

Yep. You can talk to them and they'll smile, flirt, wave, be friendly, get their number, have them ask you to text them and all kinds of "Signs"..then when the game is up and they get called on the carpet they go silent and avoid you.

 

the girl in my situation when I saw her and a girl co-worker walking past me the night before we were "supposed" to go. She was not even looking at me. Looking straight ahead and had her friend with her like some sort of security blanket. Almost like she wanted me to ask AGAIN to give me some excuse. But had her friend with her for "protection" and a witness. I said hi on purpose to both. Made small talk. She stayed quiet. Then "coughed" and said "I'm sick" almost like she couldn't restrain herself from some "pre-emptive strike" to avoid me asking her again. Which I wasn't going to do.

 

It's like I felt by her being silent, her coming up with a non needed lame excuse that wasn't needed, and her co-worker friend with her that I was automatically seen as some sort of creeper or not wanted.

 

I'm sure as hell she told her friend and a few of her other female co-workers I'd asked her to go. Sure of it. Though they never said anything. I gave zero ammo as I never asked again nor mentioned it to anyone there.

 

I noticed her the day of quick when looking up her looking at my departments direction. Soon as we caught eyes where she always used to smile, wave and at times walk over to talk to me she literally turned away quick like I was some sort of freak.

 

It really made me feel like ****. But I guess she's got whatever issues going on.

[enchanted771]

I had the same thing happen with a girl I work with who's 27 going on 28. Maybe dropping hints, then again maybe they weren't etc. I found out after I asked her to go out and she gave me the cowards (yes) blowoff: Sounds good to me I can always meet you there. Then told her I could pick her up. She replied: I'll let you know. I knew right away the girl wasn't going and never asked again.

 

Previously telling me to text her two seperate times in person (though I thought she might have someone) and had my number too but never texted me. (She'd supposedly been dumped by her BF six months previosly).

 

I'd thought MAYBE she was dropping hints for me to ask to meet but never actually got asked by her to meet her out.

 

I'd even had a co-worker I know who works near her ask me (though she may've just been asking me as she's like a second mom to me.) If I had a girlfriend. To which I shouldn't have said but said: "Why? Do I need one?" and then her asking me if I liked anyone. I couldn't tell if she was asking for that girl or simply just asking so I never questioned it.

 

I'd never had anyone tell me she liked me either.

 

The funny thing was another co-worker had told me (whom I joke with) that she'd been by her area and NEVER talked to her but knew I liked her and said she gave her a look up and down and a very dirty look. So I thought maybe she thought I had something going on with that woman as she's always hugging me and kissing me on the cheek. (It's a joke but I don't know if she'd been watching and saw her do that a few times and thought I was with her or not.)

 

That SAME night all of a sudden out of the blue I get a text from her for the first time telling me she's going to this place near her we'd always chatted about as I go there pretty often myself.(I don't even think she meant it for me. I think she simply sent it to get a reply from me as she gave my co-worker that dirty look earlier in the day. Almost like she was "getting back" at her for possibly thinking we had something going on or something. Like she couldn't ask her but like "Oh. I got him to reply." It was odd as hell.)

 

I should've asked her a while back instead of letting myself wonder if she really wanted to meet or not.

 

In the end when I'd asked I was still confused as I wasn't sure if I'd blown it by not asking her up front much sooner, or she thought I was going with the other lady I joke with.

 

She gave me the polite blow off with some extremely lame excuse then in person that wasn't needed. Almost as if she expected me to ask her again after I took the hint the first time she politely blew me off and wasn't going to ask again.

 

I still think the girl was playing games and or has someone in the picture already or an ex and was getting off on playing whatever game with me. I'd never chased her and kept my distance but I guess in the end she was looking for some sort of satisfaction of having me ask her to meet then doing the "nice" blow off. MAybe she was pissed I didn't chase her but in the end I'm glad I didn't.

Whoa that is something else. I dont know what this guy deal is-if he is fishing for attention, or expecting me to chase him but either one he isnt going to get it. I am a straight shooter. If you dont follow through, i walk. He has my number and his fingers arent broke. But i wont chase him. THere are a million other guys out there.

[mtber75]

In many cultures if you set someone up and he/she turns into a dud or a flake than it really reflects badly on that person who did the setting up! Call out your friend on how this guy is a total flake and it reflects badly on her!

[sickpuppy]

Whoa that is something else. I dont know what this guy deal is-if he is fishing for attention, or expecting me to chase him but either one he isnt going to get it. I am a straight shooter. If you dont follow through, i walk. He has my number and his fingers arent broke. But i wont chase him. THere are a million other guys out there.

 

 

that's what kills me..I don't know if this girl ever really liked me and I partially blew it or she was just being friendly and couldn't ask me to meet. I really liked this girl a lot and probably came off in my own way as not really wanting her I guess.

 

If I ask someone something and they tell me X but never ask me to go I figure they are simply answering my question.

 

If I asked YOU what are you doing now and you respond I'm at here having a drink I think you're just answering me but not asking me if I'd like to go.

 

I mean I didn't text the girl a lot as I'd told her I thought she'd had a boyfriend. When I finally asked her to go out she blew me off..maybe as thinking I wasn't serious? Maybe girls in her department talking things about me? Maybe some sort of revenge? I have no friggin idea.

 

If i somehow blew it I'd fully admit it. But I really IMO think she was playing a game to have me chase her suspecting I liked her but didn't really like me and was just using me as some sort of attention fix at times.

 

I mean hell I did ask and she blew me off.

[sickpuppy]

Whoa that is something else. I dont know what this guy deal is-if he is fishing for attention, or expecting me to chase him but either one he isnt going to get it. I am a straight shooter. If you dont follow through, i walk. He has my number and his fingers arent broke. But i wont chase him. THere are a million other guys out there.

 

 

Was that "Whoa" meaning she was interested at first or whoa that's messed up what happend? lol

[enchanted771]

In many cultures if you set someone up and he/she turns into a dud or a flake than it really reflects badly on that person who did the setting up! Call out your friend on how this guy is a total flake and it reflects badly on her!

I had spoken to her last time about how if he isnt up to it, its fine. Honestly, its too much of a headache. I dont know her on that personal a level. She is a coworker, so she gave him my number, he did nothing, so I am done. I dont want the headache anymore but just wont be set up with anyone by her again.

[enchanted771]

Was that "Whoa" meaning she was interested at first or whoa that's messed up what happend? lol

It was meaning alot of drama.LOL

[truth_seeker]

A couple months ago, my coworker introduced me to this guy who she told me wanted to meet me. We chatted less than 10 min. He didnt ask for my phone number, nada. Just small talk. Two weeks pass and my coworker sets up a date. I figured he was shy/nervous or whatever. He cancels. So we were supposed to go the next week. He cancelled because hes on vacation but said we will go out when he returns. Flaky, but whatever. Then he saw me on the street and texts my coworker and said he saw me and when he gets back were going out. Okay, he returned from vacation last week. I told my coworker listen, were not in high school, just give him my number. That was almost a week ago, and he hasnt initiated any contact. Any fool, shy or not can text. I am not saying another word. I mean i dont care how shy a guy is, if your into someone in my opinion, you will not want her to meet someone else so you would at the very least text her. I am annoyed she tried to even set me up with such a shady guy in the first place. I feel it was a complete waste of my time. If you dont have the guts, then dont ask someone to introduce you and start something if you arent going to follow through.

 

Opinions????

 

Guy sounds like a player and a d-bag. Your friend who set you up owes you an apology.

[sickpuppy]

I had spoken to her last time about how if he isnt up to it, its fine. Honestly, its too much of a headache. I dont know her on that personal a level. She is a coworker, so she gave him my number, he did nothing, so I am done. I dont want the headache anymore but just wont be set up with anyone by her again.

 

 

Thing is with these types you never know even IF they are single how long they are single or if they are caught in some post-relationship break up drama going on for who knows how long..

 

It's hard to almost not take it personal especially if you really like them and don't see past what you want to see or can't see as you wonder if they ever truly liked you at all. It's like I get treated better by friends! lol

 

Once you do find out how they are or strongly suspect it you have to realize there is some issues going on with that person or something behind the scenes.

 

The best thing to do is never bother with those types other than being cordial if you see them.

 

IMO I believe once they see you as the person they played their game with..No matter how much they say they are over the past or their issues..They'll always see you as the person they tried to play and will never respect nor think highly of you in their minds.

 

 

I'm glad as hell I never chased the girl in my situation and kept my dignity in tact. It hurts as you like them but there's no helping those types. Some will always be the way they are and can't help it nor themselves and probably only ever seek out abusive relationships as they equate pain with actually having feelings for someone and to "feel love".

 

Sad but true.

[enchanted771]

I thought meeting someone in person instead of online would give me better results because a lot of guys online turn out to be flakes/creepy. But even they text if you give them your number, so guess there is always the exception. Probably going to try match soon.