tiernan Posted September 18, 2013 Posted September 18, 2013 I have been strong for more than two weeks now despite of the fact he broke NC more than once already. I am still suffering but not so much as in the beginning. Now I realise I have to face shame and I find it very difficult. We were together for 4 years, 2 of which as an open relaitionship, he got to know all my world, my family and friends, we went to parties together and socialise a lot. How can I face this shame and humiliation when they will say " we have warned you against married men, they are all alike, all cases end like this, and you were just a naive fool thinking your case was special. I will have nothing to say, because in fact I was one. I still am in fact. How did you deal with that?
whichwayisup Posted September 18, 2013 Posted September 18, 2013 I have been strong for more than two weeks now despite of the fact he broke NC more than once already. I am still suffering but not so much as in the beginning. Now I realise I have to face shame and I find it very difficult. We were together for 4 years, 2 of which as an open relaitionship, he got to know all my world, my family and friends, we went to parties together and socialise a lot. How can I face this shame and humiliation when they will say " we have warned you against married men, they are all alike, all cases end like this, and you were just a naive fool thinking your case was special. I will have nothing to say, because in fact I was one. I still am in fact. How did you deal with that? Forgive yourself, that's how. Learn from this and grow from it. Nobody in your circle of friends (true friends) should be judging you and making you feel bad about your choices. If anything, they should be a shoulder and helping you feel better, not worse.
Betterthanthis13 Posted September 18, 2013 Posted September 18, 2013 I have been strong for more than two weeks now despite of the fact he broke NC more than once already. I am still suffering but not so much as in the beginning. Now I realise I have to face shame and I find it very difficult. We were together for 4 years, 2 of which as an open relaitionship, he got to know all my world, my family and friends, we went to parties together and socialise a lot. How can I face this shame and humiliation when they will say " we have warned you against married men, they are all alike, all cases end like this, and you were just a naive fool thinking your case was special. I will have nothing to say, because in fact I was one. I still am in fact. How did you deal with that? Don't beat yourself up... take it easy. Think about it the opposite way- the shame and humiliation part is over, you have put a STOP to it- where exactly is the shame and humiliation in that? You should be proud of yourself.... Who is going to say, "I told you so? We warned you..." That is absolutely terrible! If someone should say something like that to you look them straight in the eye with your head held high and say nothing. Just stare them down with an evil eye and make THEM feel uncomfortable. They should be the one to feel ashamed for making such a stupid, insensitive statement to someone who is trying to do the right thing for your life and be strong.
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