mrbrightside14 Posted September 18, 2013 Posted September 18, 2013 26-year-old single male, I have gone on dates with and slept with a good number of girls by now, but I just can't seem to get a girlfriend. And I have been told I'm quite a catch, but I never find myself in a happy, committed relationship, which I really want. The longest thing I had was a three-month thing. I am usually not attracted to the girls that want me, and I get turned down by the ones I want. I need a solution to this problem. I am starting to wonder what's wrong with me. If you had a similar problem in the past but somehow found the solution, please share!
StanMusial Posted September 18, 2013 Posted September 18, 2013 26-year-old single male, I have gone on dates with and slept with a good number of girls by now, but I just can't seem to get a girlfriend. And I have been told I'm quite a catch, but I never find myself in a happy, committed relationship, which I really want. The longest thing I had was a three-month thing. I am usually not attracted to the girls that want me, and I get turned down by the ones I want. I need a solution to this problem. I am starting to wonder what's wrong with me. If you had a similar problem in the past but somehow found the solution, please share! How are you dating/banging all these girls if you are getting turned down? Alcohol?
Author mrbrightside14 Posted September 18, 2013 Author Posted September 18, 2013 How are you dating/banging all these girls if you are getting turned down? Alcohol? I always end up banging the ones that like me for whatever reason but I am not really into. And they eventually leave me because they realize I'm not that into them. Girls that turn me down usually don't turn me down initially. They usually tell me they wanna "be friends" after two or three dates for whatever reason. I consider myself to be an attractive guy, and I've been told so. I've been told I'm good-looking and interesting. I just find it so damn hard to find a woman who has the same interest level. It bothers me...
Ninjainpajamas Posted September 18, 2013 Posted September 18, 2013 This is something where people would have to know you personally to answer
StanMusial Posted September 19, 2013 Posted September 19, 2013 I always end up banging the ones that like me for whatever reason but I am not really into. And they eventually leave me because they realize I'm not that into them. Girls that turn me down usually don't turn me down initially. They usually tell me they wanna "be friends" after two or three dates for whatever reason. I consider myself to be an attractive guy, and I've been told so. I've been told I'm good-looking and interesting. I just find it so damn hard to find a woman who has the same interest level. It bothers me... Well it could be the girls ditching you have heard about your other exploits.
Bubberfly Posted September 23, 2013 Posted September 23, 2013 "I am usually not attracted to the girls that want me, and I get turned down by the ones I want. " This is the DING! DING! DING! Are you telling girls this? I go running if you told me this and I was interested in you. I'd figure "why bother, if the second I start liking him he won't be interested?" Are you being too picky? From the sounds of it you are. Does she have to have a degree in rocket science, a bank load of money, and a modeling contract? I'm thinking you're trying too hard. Rather than just letting a relationship happen. Without knowing too much about you, and from the little you've written here, it doesn't sound like you can handle a relationship at the moment. Quit exploiting the poor girls you're not into, and quit worrying about "interest levels" on both ends.
hppr Posted September 23, 2013 Posted September 23, 2013 I am usually not attracted to the girls that want me, and I get turned down by the ones I want. You sound pretty normal to me. It could be that what you want is a little unrealistic, or maybe the women you are attracted to just aren't relationship material. The key thing for a relationship to work is to find a girl who has the right mindset. You want a girl who is warm, friendly and accommodating to you with similar interests and goals. Not an easy thing to find; if it were then everyone would be in a relationship.
HorseLuck Posted September 25, 2013 Posted September 25, 2013 Hhhmmmm. What is it about these girls that don't interest you? Is it a lack of common interest, personality traits, or are you just being nitpicky? I would ask the girls who want to be friends after a couple of dates for an honest opinion. "what is it about me that turns you off?" You might be able to spot a pattern. And also think about what is it about them that specifically attracts you. What are your qualifications when it comes to seeking a potential partner?
coolheadal Posted September 25, 2013 Posted September 25, 2013 Enough with this good looking stuff. If you want a girl to be your steady girl friend you have to change your habits. Take them out be nice don't just think of getting them into the bed. That should be the very last thing or not at all planned! Your still young 26 but you need to figure out what you want from a girl. Write this down or type it into a notepad on computer. Ask yourself what you want. 1. Girl Friend 1a. Make out only? (current plan goal) 1b. Friend? 1c. Lover? 1d. Serious Relationship? (main objective goal) The answer would be 1d. From your gut are you really ready for one girl as your main steady girl friend. Sounds like your not ready. You would be considered a player as you move from one girl to another. These type of girls you seek they're not better than what your been doing. Don't expect them to be steady real girl friends just are not the type. Best thing you can do is slow down and pull up your pants and go a different root. Wine and dine the girl and get to know them. Don't always go after the best looking ones in the clubs/bars or wherever you hang out to find one. But the girls your dating now (more like one night stands) are not what your seeking then move on. How you dress, look and act will get you the wrong girl also. Party girls or player girls these are the ones that your going after now. Think of that type that are not so active. Change were you go and what you do. This will be hard for you because you only know one way to act.
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