youcanever Posted September 18, 2013 Posted September 18, 2013 I thought i was fine but appearantly i am not. I am jealous of my ex. I am 24 and she is 20. Having so much fun with her life afte breaking up with me. I got my dream job and very good at it and hit the gym at least 5 times a week but i feel bad. Still checking her photos everyday. She got tons of new friends and i got noone. Only couple of people from dance class. Everyone loves her but my human relationships are not that good. I feel sick for myself i dont like myself and i enjoy nothing. I think i need help. Serious help. So depressed. At work now and all î want is going home and sleep. So tired and frustrated by everything and everyone. Head will explode. I judt want to be alone. What is wrong with me? Why am i too weak? She lives her life fully and i dont want to do anything. Why? I was great last 2 months and now goîng down again. It has been 4 months after breakup.
Philosoraptor Posted September 18, 2013 Posted September 18, 2013 Stop checking up on her and you'll have nothing to be jealous about. You're causing your own pain by continuing to worry about what is going on in her life. You lack control and you have a self defeatist attitude. You continue to check up on her and you are waiting for things to happen for you, when you could be out there living your life as well. Find something you like to do and do it. I snapped out of my depression years ago by jumping out of an airplane. I just started living for me and it flipped everything around. 3
BigGirlPantiesOn Posted September 18, 2013 Posted September 18, 2013 To compare is to despair. What do you get out of obsessing over her life? Scanning her photos, her FB? WHAT is the pay off? Pain. You are causing your own pain. Let her go. Focus on you. Then you will heal. 1
rachel88 Posted September 18, 2013 Posted September 18, 2013 I'm sorry for your situation. If this advice helps, I gave my FB password to my friend to change, because I didn't want to delete the ex/delete FB as I thought it would look petty. I've told her to update me if something drastic happens (like he gets a gf) but other wise I don't want to know. Believe me, the first day I just wanted to get the password off my friend all day, but now it's so much easier not having to see his face and what he's up to and I know if anything important happens my friend would tell me. In my opinion, the more people show off online about what they're up to I think they're trying to rub it in to someone and act like they're having so much fun.
Author youcanever Posted September 18, 2013 Author Posted September 18, 2013 You pals are right, i better stop checking up on her. I think i have low self-control and need to strengten it. I will do my best for no contact. Do you think all my depression comes from only this? I feel so down when i see her so happy with lots of guys around her. She gets more social and i get less social. I know she will never come back and checking up on her photos gives me nothing. Opposite, it makes me feel bad and angry. I will do my best not to creep on her again. Will do my best. Promîse. I better man up. I am 24 year old for gods sake.
JDPT Posted September 18, 2013 Posted September 18, 2013 You must stop comparing yourself to her or other people. You are in this point of your life for a reason. Most importantly learn from this experience and grow from it. You will come out of this a new and improved you. 1
Author youcanever Posted September 18, 2013 Author Posted September 18, 2013 Yes i promised myself to improve nonstop. It will be tough but i will do my best to stick to it. Also yes i should focus on my own and stop comparing.
BigGirlPantiesOn Posted September 18, 2013 Posted September 18, 2013 Your doctor can give you a written analysis to determine if you are suffering from depression and need meds. Make an appt, share how your feeling and get help. Pain is inevitable in this lifetime, but suffering is optional. xo
mtnbiker3000 Posted September 18, 2013 Posted September 18, 2013 To compare is to despair. This is going right on to a sticky on my computer. This has been a big one for me as well. Not from pictures and FB, but just in my own mind. I think all dumpees can't help but feel like somehow they 'lost' while the ex 'won' some twisted game. I am constantly comparing, which does zero good! I've told her to update me if something drastic happens (like he gets a gf) but other wise I don't want to know. Uhhh. This is the LAST thing you should want to know about. Why on earth would you go through the trouble of getting off FB, only to have a friend tell you he has a new GF? That's crazy talk Trust me, you DO NOT want to know about such information!!!! 1
mtnbiker3000 Posted September 18, 2013 Posted September 18, 2013 (edited) Do you think all my depression comes from only this? I am not a doctor, but I would say, no. This is more of a symptom/result than a cause. Now would be a good time for some therapy if you have the means. Chances are you have some other, deeper issues causing you to feel the way you do now. Feeling sad/depressed about the ex's life is just adding fuel to the fire. Again, I am by no means qualified to diagnose you, but what I am describing is the situation I am currently in. And I know that although I think about the ex, RS and BU all the time and often feel sad about it, the real reasons behind my current state stem from issues brought on much earlier in life. And , I (you) can expect much of the same patterns over and over in all aspects of my life until I start to repair some of that damage done many years ago. Edited September 18, 2013 by mtnbiker3000
JDPT Posted September 18, 2013 Posted September 18, 2013 This is going right on to a sticky on my computer. This has been a big one for me as well. Not from pictures and FB, but just in my own mind. I think all dumpees can't help but feel like somehow they 'lost' while the ex 'won' some twisted game. I am constantly comparing, which does zero good! I absolutely agree. I being the dumpee used to torture myself on a daily basis always comparing to my ex and how "successful" she is in life and perhaps no longer required my assistance as I was not useful to her. I too felt as if I got the raw end of the deal, being left stranded in the middle of nowhere as she marched right along with her life. And yes these are twisted and inadvertent mind games that one most overcome. It really too vigorous effort and time for me to no longer live my life through my ex. I understand now that I am responsible and incharge of my life and my ex's dealings have no bearing on mine. Now I only focus on improving myself and moving forward with my life as this is the only thing that matters at this point.
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