Stone Posted November 22, 2004 Posted November 22, 2004 This has been going on for a little while my b/f parents are "snow birds" they only live in Florida in the Winter, last winter his father said little things to me like "you have a nice body" " I can always disown my son for you " and other crap I always laugh at him and blow it off he drinks to much. Last night we wen't to his parents beach house to announce my pregnancy his father was respectful and happy and told me he was so glad I am finally apart of their faimly..... 5 cocktails later ( for him) he walked us out to the car I gave him and his wife a hug goodbye and he GRapped my BooB!!!! OMG!! I can't believe it. I didn't say anything because I would totally barf if someone said that about my mother..... The thing is his father wouldn't remember if I brought it up because he is such a drunk. Do you think I should tell my b/f? This is not something I would ever want to know..... but if it happens again I'll slap the old man
gwennebe Posted November 22, 2004 Posted November 22, 2004 I really think you should tell your boyfriend. Of course, if I was in the situaiton I would be afraid too. I would be afraid of my boyfriend getting mad, the mom getting mad and the dad accusing me of lieing. Hmmm. This is a tough one. The only other suggestion I have is to confront him about it the next time. You could have maybe said as he was grabbing the breast in a joking manner "Oh my old man!! That would be my left breast you have there!! Iknow you didn't mean to grab the boob of your pregnant sons girlfriend. The woman carrying your grandfreaking child!" That may scare him into not trying anything ever again. What a tool bag.
SoleMate Posted November 22, 2004 Posted November 22, 2004 Yes, tell your boyfriend right away (unless he is still in suicidal crisis, in which case I would wait). I have had a problem with a family member like this...the best approach depends on just how bad he is, and who in the family is at risk. I tend to not want to tell the wife/gf - it seems that she usually is not really in a position to respond constructively. In our case, the buttgrabber has been isolated, and his livein gf (my MIL) has NOT been informed. My children do not enter that household without me or their father, EVER. If ever he comes toward me for a hug, I dodge him or put my purse between us to keep him at a distance. At a minimum, you and your bf should work together so that you will never be subjected to this again. But if it does, make sure your slap is accompanied by a loud scream and an explanation to family, "I was so startled when Wilfred touched my breast, I just reacted instinctively." If it ever seems that a vulnerable person may be at risk, then a higher level of whistle blowing is called for. Your bf's relationship with his mother may be a casualty of this, but I wouldn't let that stop me.
tattoomytoe Posted November 22, 2004 Posted November 22, 2004 wow! i would gentle broach the subject to see "hypothetically" how the bf nighht take it if........ but i think it is something you should tell your bf, and maybe it was the cocktails (why do you think they call them that), but it is no excuse!
Moose Posted November 22, 2004 Posted November 22, 2004 Last time my Father-in-law grabbed my boob, I put my knee to his nutts.....I don't think he'll do it again.....I felt so used!!! Really though Stoned, I'm kinda pissed and I never met you face to face, but you know I luv ya and I hate it when the people I love get taken advantage of. Tell your boyfriend or it'll continue. If anyone can confront that man it's your boyfriend.
meanon Posted November 22, 2004 Posted November 22, 2004 Yuk! Tell the Father that if he ever does it again you will tell his son and his wife. That should do the trick.
Author Stone Posted November 22, 2004 Author Posted November 22, 2004 Soulmate--- No he's not sucidial anymore I could write a friggin soap opera about my life.... LOL He is so nice and wonderful when he is sober, He always tells me how good I am for his son. bla bla bla But when he is drunk the dirty old man comes out, I really love the fact that he likes me I guess it's hard for him to accept people and his whole faimly rants and raves that His Dad loves me so I don't want to skrew that up, or piss his wife off. I guess I will tell my b/f and hope he doesn't flip out.
savethedrama4allama Posted November 22, 2004 Posted November 22, 2004 Dang that is so gross. I think you should for sure tell your boyfriend so that he can help. Ok I'm a little odd, but if he ever grabbed me again I'd just shout out the body part that he was inappropriately touching. Screaming "boob! boob! boob!" ought to do it. It'll get everyone's attention and will get him busted while he's doing it. Like I said, I'm odd.
tokyo Posted November 22, 2004 Posted November 22, 2004 Are you with your old boyfriend again? Must have missed it
Author Stone Posted November 23, 2004 Author Posted November 23, 2004 yea we are back togeather after a long 2 week breakup haha Anyway I told him tonight and he FREAKED OUT!! He is totally pissed off at his father although he says he isn't suprised. and he plans to bring it to his attention.... now I am freaked out and scared that I am going to start some faimly fued over it..
Sukotto Posted November 23, 2004 Posted November 23, 2004 Get a tazer, everytime he tries to touch you, you can reward him with 50,000 volts.
Author Stone Posted November 23, 2004 Author Posted November 23, 2004 Funny you should say that I am a huge invester in TASR the stun gun maker... so is he.
JackieQ Posted November 23, 2004 Posted November 23, 2004 the old lech would continue if you didnt' put some sort of stop to it. Not sure there's a neat way to do that. Telling your boyfriends probably the best way to go. I do like Llama's idea too... something like saying very loudly... "that's my boob you have in your hand and I'm sure you didn't mean to do that" accompanied by very large backward steps in front of everyone should make it clear that any inappropriate touching will not be tolerated. And, as SoleMate said, once your baby is born, don't let him/her near the guy without you or your boyfriend also being around.
Mr Spock Posted November 23, 2004 Posted November 23, 2004 Originally posted by Stone This has been going on for a little while my b/f parents are "snow birds" they only live in Florida in the Winter, last winter his father said little things to me like "you have a nice body" " I can always disown my son for you " and other crap I always laugh at him and blow it off he drinks to much. Last night we wen't to his parents beach house to announce my pregnancy his father was respectful and happy and told me he was so glad I am finally apart of their faimly..... 5 cocktails later ( for him) he walked us out to the car I gave him and his wife a hug goodbye and he GRapped my BooB!!!! OMG!! I can't believe it. I didn't say anything because I would totally barf if someone said that about my mother..... The thing is his father wouldn't remember if I brought it up because he is such a drunk. Do you think I should tell my b/f? This is not something I would ever want to know..... but if it happens again I'll slap the old man Are you still dating the depressed guy who can't get it up stoneheather? Cause if you are, it's another BIG RED FLAG that you don't want to be anywhere near this guy OR his f*cked up family.
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