Sugarkane Posted September 18, 2013 Posted September 18, 2013 I only know of two real cases that have. Besides that it seems everyone ends up depressed and on the internet?
Salvatore85 Posted September 18, 2013 Posted September 18, 2013 I can remember when my ex had the abortion and I was relieved. I was only 23 and wanted to keep hanging out with my friends and I honestly don't think I understood the magnitude of the situation? However I'm 28 now and my ex and I have been broken up since February and I think about it nearly everyday. I bottled it up a lot but I've been depressed about it for awhile now, mainly because I feel like I did something horrible. So for me personally it didn't ruin the relationship per se but it certainly has hit my hard the older I've gotten.
skydiveaddict Posted September 18, 2013 Posted September 18, 2013 I only know of two real cases that have. Besides that it seems everyone ends up depressed and on the internet? It's a terrible thing for someone knowing they killed another person. 3
ray.alb Posted September 18, 2013 Posted September 18, 2013 Honestly I can't really imagine that a relationship can survive abortion. In the moment the decision to do so was made the relationship is doomed to failure in my opinion. Two friends of mine made those experiences as well even though not as intense as you described.
Emilia Posted September 18, 2013 Posted September 18, 2013 It's a terrible thing for someone knowing they killed another person. Except that a bunch of cells are a not a person. Anything that doesn't have a developed brain is not a person. 4
skydiveaddict Posted September 18, 2013 Posted September 18, 2013 Except that a bunch of cells are a not a person. Try telling any gynecologist that. Whatever their views on abortion, they will still tell you that you are dealing with two lives. Anything that doesn't have a developed brain is not a person. Developed to what degree? Your standard? Or perhaps mine? Or Who's? The laws of biology and physics easily prove that human life begins at conception; and that the potential for brain growth starts there as well. Quit trying to bull**** yourself. The zygote will develop into a human baby when the mother gives birth. It is human at conception, and it is human at birth. 2
Emilia Posted September 18, 2013 Posted September 18, 2013 Try telling any gynecologist that. Whatever their views on abortion, they will still tell you that you are dealing with two lives. Really? Have you been to one? Developed to what degree? Your standard? Or perhaps mine? Or Who's? To any degree. A bunch of cells don't have a brain. Embrios don't have a brain. The laws of biology and physics easily prove that human life begins at conception; and that the potential for brain growth starts there as well. The potential, indeed. Not actual, potential. Quit trying to bull**** yourself. The zygote will develop into a human baby when the mother gives birth. It is human at conception, and it is human at birth. Isn't it funny that the most religious who are so concerned with their own self-righteousness are the ones who try brow-beat distressed women when they are mentally at the most vulnerable about killing 'babies' that are not even human beings yet. You are so concerned about a bunch of cells that your ridiculous religion brain washed you to think is a human being that you don't care how much your ignorant bible bashing is affecting an actual human being: the original poster of this thread. You sir should be thoroughly ashamed of yourself and your religion. 2
Els Posted September 18, 2013 Posted September 18, 2013 OP, is there a reason you are asking this? Judging based on your previous threads, you are too late to get one legally. PLEASE do not get an illegal one. Your life will be at stake if you do. I know I'm extrapolating a lot here, so forgive me if my guess was wrong, but IMO this is important enough that it bears saying anyway. To answer your question: Yes, some have. Both abortion and a child are extremely significant events that always have a high potential of impacting your relationship, though. 1
lindsay1990 Posted September 18, 2013 Posted September 18, 2013 I think it depends more on how each partner individually handles or survives it. Depends on many things, circumstances, backgrounds, etc. but obviously for some people it can be a thing that creates extreme guilt, which is the most corrosive sentiment ever. I would say that it's best to worry about yourself and your own peace of mine with your beliefs before thinking of the impact of your relationship. Because, either because you can't deal with it or your partner can't, eventually the relationship might implode and you will be left alone with your conscience. The only case *similar* that I know is my parents. My mom had 6 (SIX!) miscarriages before having me, finally discovering she had chromosomal issue that would make her either 75% lose the baby in the first trimester, and 25% have a mentally disabled baby (as her sister is). Upon hearing this, her and my dad decided to get her tubes tied and not risk having a baby that would need so much care to live even just a dignified life but, when she went to her appointment, they told her she was 11 weeks pregnant and thus, could not get her tubes tied. She wanted to get and abortion and my dad basically threatened that if she did it, he would leave. That if their fate was to have a disabled baby so be it but that if she went through with abortion, even with all odds against her, they were done. Five years married. So.... they went ahead and had the baby. Your truly. I turned out fine (enough). Sadly, they tried for another child after and for the next 10 years my mom suffered three more miscarriages and then they stopped. But what I'm saying is: what will make or break your own feelings and also your relationship is what you feel you are doing. My parents relationship remained strong and growing and happy despite losing many babies and basically giving up. But the thought of having done together something that one of them thought was so wrong (be it morally or religiously) was what would have torn them apart. so focus on that. It's not the baby or the aborting the baby, it's what you FEEL you are doing and if everytime you see yourself or your partner you feel like you did "an unfortunate but practical thing together and moved on" or "a horrible thing together that you will regret forever".
barky2 Posted September 18, 2013 Posted September 18, 2013 Phew where to begin. With me, my (ex) had a ectopic pregnancy, followed by 5 miscarriages Our demise? Communication. We didn't communicate one about the pain and anger that was dwelling inside of us Our first breakup came about a month after the last miscarriage. Hindsight 20/20 we should have taken our parents advise to go see a therapist to talk about it. So can it survive? Sure. If communication is number one on your agenda. Barky
RiceaRoni Posted September 18, 2013 Posted September 18, 2013 (edited) Isn't it funny that the most religious who are so concerned with their own self-righteousness are the ones who try brow-beat distressed women when they are mentally at the most vulnerable about killing 'babies' that are not even human beings yet. You are so concerned about a bunch of cells that your ridiculous religion brain washed you to think is a human being that you don't care how much your ignorant bible bashing is affecting an actual human being: the original poster of this thread. You sir should be thoroughly ashamed of yourself and your religion. Whoa Whoa Whoa. Everyone has their own opinion. Their own views. Their own beliefs. The OP has a far different question and concern. It's not surprising this post would turn into a political debate, But no one should be ashamed for their religion. We all have a right to one. And we all have a right to believe what we think is right or wrong. Some people support abortion, others don't. Respect each others opinions on life and how we live it. Life is difficult enough, why bother attacking one another on individual beliefs? It's like me taking something YOU believe in and telling you, you should be ashamed. No one should ever feel ashamed to what they think is right or wrong. It's a human right to believe in what we want and a right to self expression and how we feel about certain topics. No one is right or wrong. We simply just believe in different things. anywho to the OP. I've never experienced this, but I have known someone who has, and what they did was they really communicated to one another, supported each other, and understood what they were doing. It's a matter of different things and how they felt with it was they were really there for each other. Edited September 18, 2013 by RiceaRoni 3
Ireallydontknow Posted September 18, 2013 Posted September 18, 2013 Ex and I had one 4 years ago. Regret nothing, no depression, nothing. It was the most humane thing to do as we could of never raised a child. I don't see how people are against abortions. 3
Author Sugarkane Posted September 19, 2013 Author Posted September 19, 2013 Ex and I had one 4 years ago. Regret nothing, no depression, nothing. It was the most humane thing to do as we could of never raised a child. I don't see how people are against abortions. May I ask how did you get no depression/ regrets? It just seems so unlikely.
Author Sugarkane Posted September 19, 2013 Author Posted September 19, 2013 OP, is there a reason you are asking this? Judging based on your previous threads, you are too late to get one legally. PLEASE do not get an illegal one. Your life will be at stake if you do. I know I'm extrapolating a lot here, so forgive me if my guess was wrong, but IMO this is important enough that it bears saying anyway. To answer your question: Yes, some have. Both abortion and a child are extremely significant events that always have a high potential of impacting your relationship, though. Yes because of my own situation. That is what I wanted to know.
RiceaRoni Posted September 19, 2013 Posted September 19, 2013 I think it just depends on how you feel about it and at what point of view you see it from. Some see it as not a big issue because they know they could never raise a child therefore would rather abort than to struggle and put stress on themselves and the child if they were to trying and raise it . Others see it as throwing away a life that could have happened and was possible. A life that would have existed. It's just how you choose to view it. And the choice is always up to you. It's easier for some than it is for others.
It's Just Me Posted September 19, 2013 Posted September 19, 2013 It's a very personal decision, and should not be judged by anyone, regardless of the side on which they happen to fall. There are too many unwanted, unloved and abused kids out there. It irks me (sometimes) that those who want kids the most are unable to conceive (my brother and his wife). And then there are those who are incapable of caring for offspring, and still manage to spit them out like watermelon seeds (my girlfriend's half-wit, drug-addicted and messed-up half-sister). Do relationships survive abortion? Yes, I believe that most do. 2
veggirl Posted September 19, 2013 Posted September 19, 2013 Obviously it depends on the parties involved. If one wants it and one doesn't, then no it probably won't survive. I've experienced the opposite, very similar to Ireallydontknow. There was absolutely no fall-out, on my end or his. Our relationship ended 2 yrs later, for reasons completely unrelated. It was a non-issue after it (abortion) occurred.
veggirl Posted September 19, 2013 Posted September 19, 2013 May I ask how did you get no depression/ regrets? It just seems so unlikely. If you (general you) want to have an abortion why would you regret it or feel depressed about it? I'd feel depressed if I was coerced into it or unsure and went through with it anyway. But if you have thought something through and decided on it, why do you think there would be depression/regret following?
rainfall Posted September 19, 2013 Posted September 19, 2013 My relationship survived an abortion. It was around four years ago and we are still together and it has not had any negative effect on our relationship.
Author Sugarkane Posted September 20, 2013 Author Posted September 20, 2013 If you (general you) want to have an abortion why would you regret it or feel depressed about it? I'd feel depressed if I was coerced into it or unsure and went through with it anyway. But if you have thought something through and decided on it, why do you think there would be depression/regret following? Because all I have to do is post a question like this and get some guilt tripping answers. This topic is still always up for debate and people STILL don't talk openly about this subject. There is still the guilt if you choose this.
rainfall Posted September 20, 2013 Posted September 20, 2013 Because all I have to do is post a question like this and get some guilt tripping answers. This topic is still always up for debate and people STILL don't talk openly about this subject. There is still the guilt if you choose this. If someone knows she made the right decision, I don't see why they would feel any guilt. However, in your case (from what I understand) you are past the point of legal abortion so I do not think it would be the right decision for you.
Harradin Posted September 20, 2013 Posted September 20, 2013 I have a couple of friends who went through an abortion. They weren't suited for each other and they were essentially glorified friends with benefits. But the abortion pretty much killed everything they had and they broke up shortly after.
Ireallydontknow Posted September 20, 2013 Posted September 20, 2013 Because It was more humane than bringing a child into the world with a terrible mother, me being broke. I have absolutely no regrets in this aspect and I never will.
Author Sugarkane Posted September 21, 2013 Author Posted September 21, 2013 If someone knows she made the right decision, I don't see why they would feel any guilt. However, in your case (from what I understand) you are past the point of legal abortion so I do not think it would be the right decision for you. When I tried and searched for information all I could find was nothing but what ifs and posts about depression and suicide. It was really depressing.
rainfall Posted September 21, 2013 Posted September 21, 2013 When I tried and searched for information all I could find was nothing but what ifs and posts about depression and suicide. It was really depressing. I think this might be because if a woman was ok with her decision and she doesn't regret it she isn't going to make posts about it. She isn't going to wonder what if because she knows she made the right decision. I know I already said this but again if you are asking for yourself because you are considering abortion please reconsider. You are past the point of it being legal and if you find a place to do an illegal one it will probably be very unsafe for you. 1
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