Should you date a religious person if you're not?

[xxoo]

I'm personally an atheist.

 

But I do think that you are a closed-minded if you believe that science and religion can not coexist, or that theist are definitely wrong about their beliefs and you are definitely right about yours.

 

I probably would have a difficult time partnering with an atheist with views that strong. I prefer to spend time with people who have the discussions and want to learn about each other's beliefs, as longs as the beliefs harm none. I've met religious and non religious people who fit that description.

[PlumPrincess]

I think you are a little close-minded. I am a Christian and my fiance' is an atheist. I do not try to "convert" him. His beliefs are his beliefs and mine are mine. We do not argue over it, we respect each other's beliefs and it's part of what we love about each other. Of course, I am a VERY openminded Christian

How will you raise your children? Will you tell them, "Mommy believes in God, Daddy doesn't. Both of these choices are fine. We will teach you both sides and when you grow up, you can decide if you want to believe in God or not."

[TB Rhine]

as longs as the beliefs harm none.

Outed... you're a Wiccan. The most namby-pamby faux religion of all. :/

 

Ultimately, I think that (true) Christians and atheists are incompatible in how they see the world. Christians are magical thinkers; their criteria for whether something is true is whether or not they *believe* it's true, or worse yet, whether or not it makes them feel good. Atheists tend to be rational thinkers, instead putting their faith in scientific evidence and sensible arguments.

 

And when I say "true" Christians, I'm talking about people who are sincere and earnest in their faith. Such people tend to be very serious about it, and have a difficult time grasping a way of thinking that would poke holes in their own. In contrast, I think there are a lot of folks who are "Christian" in the same sense that drunk college girls who make out with each other to get male attention are "bi": they were brought up in it, see it as something that fundamentally has a positive impact on the world - which I could argue with them, honestly, but whatever - and lack the conviction and/or strong sense of rationality that would lead them to challenge their beliefs.

 

At the same time, I don't think they take many of the fundamental claims of their supposed faith seriously. These are the sort of "Christians" who are likely to say that Jesus was a wise man with a lot of good ideas about how people should live, but not necessarily divine; who won't even try to engage you in a serious discussion of how they reconcile their own apparent tolerance of homosexuality, or lack of conviction that all the non-believers in the world are destined for hell, with their (supposed) religion, which very much dictates that they hold those views. I'm much more likely to get along with this particular type of "Christian," but if anything, I think they're on even shakier rational ground than their fire and brimstone-throwing counterparts.

 

How will you raise your children? Will you tell them, "Mommy believes in God, Daddy doesn't. Both of these choices are fine. We will teach you both sides and when you grow up, you can decide if you want to believe in God or not."

 

I think there are many people who do this - the problem is that it's not really consistent with the teachings of the faith they claim to believe in. It's the ultimate wishy-washy statement. "I believe there is only one true God, and those who deny him are condemned to an eternity of hellfire - but it's totes okay if you don't agree! To each his own."

Edited September 26, 2013 by TB Rhine

[thatone]

I'm personally an atheist.

 

But I do think that you are a closed-minded if you believe that science and religion can not coexist, or that theist are definitely wrong about their beliefs and you are definitely right about yours.

 

I probably would have a difficult time partnering with an atheist with views that strong. I prefer to spend time with people who have the discussions and want to learn about each other's beliefs, as longs as the beliefs harm none. I've met religious and non religious people who fit that description.

 

'Belief' denotes wrong. If it had evidence to support it, it wouldn't be a 'belief', it would be a theory, or a hypothesis, or at the very least an educated guess.

 

'Belief' is a crutch, an attempted show-stopper, when someone is shown the complete ineptness of their opinion, they can throw out the "that's what I believe" card and expect acceptance of that statement, simply because they declared it a 'belief'.

 

It's a logical fallacy, a poor tactic, nothing more.

 

And if the internet age has taught us anything, it's that everything has an effect. We live in societies, not independent family-level dictatorships. No one lives in privacy cut off from the rest of the world in a western democracy. As such, society does not owe consideration to, say, parents who refuse medical treatment for their children because they think they can pray them healthy, and then those kids die. Nor do we allow, say, a district of Muslims to stone women to death if they are accused of adultery by husbands seeking a justification for divorce. We could come up with thousands upon thousands of examples of the above that we expressly prohibit religion from doing, which is why the right to be free from theocratic law is the very first line in the very first amendment to the US constitution.

 

So not only is someone's 'belief' that conflicts with our secular laws wrong, we will make sure everyone knows it's wrong and keep it that way, by force of law if need be.

Edited October 9, 2013 by thatone

[pink_sugar]

As long as they don't need to attend church every week.

[ChessPieceFace]

'Belief' denotes wrong. If it had evidence to support it, it wouldn't be a 'belief', it would be a theory, or a hypothesis, or at the very least an educated guess.

 

That's pretty hilarious. Are you an android or Turing-capable AI? If not, you are a prisoner of beliefs just like every other human. The only difference is the degree of insanity and zealotry. Belief is making you chastise people on this forum right now.

[GorillaTheater]

My wife's pretty religious, I'm not. We've been married almost 30 years, and religious differences haven't been a big deal.

 

We have our problems (why would I be here otherwise, right?), but God apparently doesn't have much to do with it.

[Desert-tiger]

Hey writergal, do not take this the wrong way, I am just trying to understand where you are coming from. But I do think you are being close-minded because you are already set on your own beliefs and you refuse to see others point of view whether in their own faith, belief systems, and even consider the possibility that you may be wrong in your own beliefs. Believe it or not, atheism is the same as being a theist (people who belong in a religious denomination) in that, at its core, both forms of thinking is inspired by faith. Believing in a God is a spiritual feeling because despite the evidence to the contrary, you are taking a leap of faith in something that may or may not exist. You believe because you want to believe and hope despite little evidence. That is having faith in something. On the other hand, the position of an atheist is that there is no God, and while this position does not put faith in the existence of this being, it does put faith in the belief that such a being does not exist. While you argue that the religious people you have met so far have been intolerant to your beliefs, your position and beliefs have been rather intolerant itself too. I will just quote you here:

 

See that's the problem: I can't respect someone who believes in God or has a spiritual faith because every religious person I've ever known seems to have the ulterior motive of "conversion" for everyone they meet

 

Understand that to have tolerance you have to try to understand others even if you disagree with them. The theists cannot prove to you with reasonable certainty that a God exists while I guarantee you that you cannot prove to me that such a being does not exist also. This is the realm of faith where it is out of reach of empiricism and science. Questions regarding ultimate questions of why, especially concerning the existence of God is out of reach.

 

But to answer your question regarding dating a religious person even when you are not, I would definitely say yes, I do not see why not. Being religious =/= intolerant person just as being an atheists =/= intolerant person. To me the main problem is intolerance and lack of empathy and trying to understand each other. If a person is hell-bent on forcing you his/her beliefs then no, but understand that you also have an obligation to not do this to the other person also, you are an atheist, respect those who disagree with you otherwise. Respecting others beliefs =/= compromising your own beliefs; you are not compromising your beliefs when you do this, in fact; you are trying to understand your beliefs when you do this.