MrTurk Posted September 18, 2013 Posted September 18, 2013 Are there any women on here that have told guys.... "I want to get to know you first" And you insist on texting or emailing for awhile, before you give out your number on a dating site? I am not here to bash your reasoning....just curious as to why you think thats a good idea. As a guy....I dont see how its beneficial to spend a week or two communicating(text/email), without meeting in person/talking on the phone. That whole week or two can be a waste of time, if once you meet in person, theres no chemistry. Theres got be some women on here that have done that/currently do it. Just trying to understand why.
HokeyReligions Posted September 18, 2013 Posted September 18, 2013 I would guess its a comfort thing. It might be frightening or intimidating to meet a stranger in person. People are shy too and it may be easier to build a conversational 'stockpile' of topics that you are comfortable with. I can think of a dozens reasons. This kind of communication wasn't around when I was dating. I can see some benefits but I can see a lot of draw backs too. It can become a crutch for the terminally shy or insecure.
RiceaRoni Posted September 18, 2013 Posted September 18, 2013 Are there any women on here that have told guys.... "I want to get to know you first" And you insist on texting or emailing for awhile, before you give out your number on a dating site? I am not here to bash your reasoning....just curious as to why you think thats a good idea. As a guy....I dont see how its beneficial to spend a week or two communicating(text/email), without meeting in person/talking on the phone. That whole week or two can be a waste of time, if once you meet in person, theres no chemistry. Theres got be some women on here that have done that/currently do it. Just trying to understand why. I do and will tell a guy that, but to get to know him i dont do it through text or email like you're stating. I'll actually hang out with him in person and talk to him on the phone or skype, and like the user stated above me, it is a comfort thing.. It's good getting to know a person before you actually go on dates and attempt to get serious..Getting to know a guy before we start dating lets me know what his intentions are and if he's someone I can get to know and trust without any issues of the past or current issues in his life he might have that would interfere. So yes it's a comfort thing. 1
SubliminalSessions Posted September 18, 2013 Posted September 18, 2013 As a guy....I dont see how its beneficial to spend a week or two communicating(text/email), without meeting in person/talking on the phone. That whole week or two can be a waste of time, if once you meet in person, theres no chemistry. That kind of goes along with my thread about people who text forever before wanting to get around to meeting. When I was much younger, and AOL was around...it was fun and normal to chat to people for weeks and months before meeting or even exchanging numbers. Plus I was under 18 lol. That was old school early 2000s stuff. I would spend all that time chatting 'getting to know someone' only to meet them and there be no chemistry. There may be a little speck of chemistry from waiting all that time to meet, but it usually fizzled out after meeting. It was more uncomfortable and intimidating than had we chatted once or twice and met. You simply can't take people who can't meet seriously. I can understand maybe if it's a woman who is divorced/has kids and is new to this, or some closeted, once married bi-sexual man testing the waters...but not for people who are serious and don't have time to waste. 1
Author MrTurk Posted September 18, 2013 Author Posted September 18, 2013 It's good getting to know a person before you actually go on dates and attempt to get serious If you had a quick interaction with a guy in person and got his contact info.....do you email or text him for 2 weeks before you meet him again for a date? You dont know intentions whether you meet him in person or online. I understand the theory of weeding out guys, thinking that if they want sex...they will not hang around and get to know you. But good guys, that want to date you.....many of them arent going to hang around either. They are going to go meet another woman that is ready to meet in person.
SubliminalSessions Posted September 18, 2013 Posted September 18, 2013 But good guys, that want to date you.....many of them arent going to hang around either. They are going to go meet another woman that is ready to meet in person. There's also a mid-ground as well. I find if you meet too quickly, that's not good either. Whether it's a date or something more. Maybe planning something for later in the week or having something come up that makes it take a couple weeks to meet won't hurt...even if someone decides to meet other people in the meantime.
todreaminblue Posted September 18, 2013 Posted September 18, 2013 If you had a quick interaction with a guy in person and got his contact info.....do you email or text him for 2 weeks before you meet him again for a date? You dont know intentions whether you meet him in person or online. I understand the theory of weeding out guys, thinking that if they want sex...they will not hang around and get to know you. But good guys, that want to date you.....many of them arent going to hang around either. They are going to go meet another woman that is ready to meet in person. i have guy friends so if i tell a guy i want to get to know you its not something i say to someone i just see as a male friend.... friendship just comes naturally..... to me gettign to know someone better its basically saying lets try this see where it goes with some one on one time...isnt dating getting to know someone better? and then a relationship follows if they like you like and you like them....I have only ever said i want to get to know you better to guys i like as more than a friend...it really doesnt need to be said otherwise...friendship normally just happens with me..i am pretty easy to talk to as a friend so it progresses pretty fast, i am friendly that is if they like me i guess.. Never could i imagine saying i want to get to know you better so you can be my friend..its a bit arrogant..the intimacy level is different with friends compared to a guy you are interested in..i just get to know them and i have dated friends if i feel something more.....but they are normally the ones who ask me........deb 1
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