Philosopher Posted September 17, 2013 Posted September 17, 2013 Over the past few months I have been on several dates, mostly through online dating, however all but one of the attempts I made to set up a second date have ended in failure and the one second date I did get did not progress any further than that. Most of first dates seemed to go well with lots of flirting and generally lasted a couple of hours. However when I try to arrange a second date, usually a couple of days later, I am either met with the girl's phone going to voicemail and the call or texts not being returned, excuses (such as I will check my diary) or a text saying there was no chemistry. The odd thing is that last year I would get to a second date almost every time I asked. Is there something I have been doing wrong recently or have I just been unlucky?
deathandtaxes Posted September 17, 2013 Posted September 17, 2013 Over the past few months I have been on several dates, mostly through online dating, however all but one of the attempts I made to set up a second date have ended in failure and the one second date I did get did not progress any further than that. Most of first dates seemed to go well with lots of flirting and generally lasted a couple of hours. However when I try to arrange a second date, usually a couple of days later, I am either met with the girl's phone going to voicemail and the call or texts not being returned, excuses (such as I will check my diary) or a text saying there was no chemistry. The odd thing is that last year I would get to a second date almost every time I asked. Is there something I have been doing wrong recently or have I just been unlucky? Be grateful for the no chemistry responses! They're being honest that they don't want to see you again. How long are you waiting after the first date to talk to them? Why do you wait days later? Does it take you that long to figure out you want to see them again? They may have thought you lost interest in the intervening days. Do you tell your dates you had a good date and that you want to see them again at the end of the first date? You need to be assertive! 1
CptSaveAho Posted September 17, 2013 Posted September 17, 2013 Question............ Is there something I have been doing wrong recently or have I just been unlucky? Answers............. mostly through online dating,. Most of first dates seemed to go well with lots of flirting and generally lasted a couple of hours. First dates should not last this long, cut it short... stop online dating... flakes R us
Author Philosopher Posted September 17, 2013 Author Posted September 17, 2013 Be grateful for the no chemistry responses! They're being honest that they don't want to see you again. How long are you waiting after the first date to talk to them? Why do you wait days later? Does it take you that long to figure out you want to see them again? They may have thought you lost interest in the intervening days. Do you tell your dates you had a good date and that you want to see them again at the end of the first date? You need to be assertive! I do always say that I had a good time meeting up in a text a couple of hours after the end of date, however I don't normally suggest meeting up until a couple of days later. Usually the day after the date I will have decided whether I want to meet up with them again. I do not normally tell them I want to meet up right away as I do not want to appear needy.
candie13 Posted September 17, 2013 Posted September 17, 2013 I do always say that I had a good time meeting up in a text a couple of hours after the end of date, however I don't normally suggest meeting up until a couple of days later. Usually the day after the date I will have decided whether I want to meet up with them again. I do not normally tell them I want to meet up right away as I do not want to appear needy. dry spell, don't sweat. Keep up the good game and remember, the purpose isn't to get second or third dates, but to enjoy yourself and meet interesting people. 2
StanMusial Posted September 18, 2013 Posted September 18, 2013 Are you using fake photos on your OLD page?
Author Philosopher Posted September 18, 2013 Author Posted September 18, 2013 Are you using fake photos on your OLD page? No, all my photos on the site have been taken within the past two years. I have not lied about my height either.
Fondue Posted September 18, 2013 Posted September 18, 2013 the purpose isn't to get second or third dates, but to enjoy yourself and meet interesting people.[/b] This right here is EXACTLY it. Don't go on dates looking forward into the future, go on dates for the NOW. You are there to hang out with the person, then and there. Don't assume past that. Enjoy their company, and have them enjoy yours. Believe that it is the first and last time you will see this person, and you don't want to waste your time. You want to enjoy your time. Make sure you enjoy it with them. That's how I do it. Never fails. ALso, avoid coffee/bar/dinner dates. Those are boring. Sitting down + conversation is stale. You also have to entertain the person with your dialogue/jokes. It can be difficult. Especially if she is more introverted. DO something fun. Always do something fun. It's way better. When I was OLD, I had a lot of dates. Multiple women in a week. All of them beside one (I reallllllylylylylyl wasn't into her) went past second/third date, because I always kept it fun. I always brought them to an arcade bar. Drinks to loosen up a bit, but mostly play video games. High five each other, joke, laugh, etc. Just ENJOY it. Your fun time = their fun time. Every single girl that I went out with said something along the lines of, "dude, you're pretty friggin' silly, I love it." HINT: Emulate the 11th doctor from Doctor Who. Seriously. It works like a charm. Goodluck! 1
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