Chrisprescott29 Posted September 17, 2013 Posted September 17, 2013 Alright, this is a really long story but I'll try to keep it somewhat short. Anyways, I've known this girl for about a year and a half because we both work at a local gym and also go to the same college. We were just friends for a while but I noticed that she started liking me around Christmas time last year. She would always ask me to hang out with her and talk to me constantly, which she never did before. I don't like her more than a friend so I would make up excuses and forget to text her back and stuff so she would hopefully get the hint. After doing this about ten times, I think she finally got the hint and toned down the flirting and other stuff for like 2 months. Then, in like March or April, it started up again even more than before (I guess her and an Ex had a thing going then he broke it off with her again). She made it way too obvious. I continued to do the same thing that I did before a few more times. Then in like late June, it became even more obvious. She would constantly try to make me jealous by randomly bringing up how she met some dude at a bar a few nights before or some guy asked her out and she didn't know if she would go out with him. She would have a new story like this almost every time that I saw her and she would bring them up out of nowhere. I would usually make a comment then change the subject. This continues for another 2 months until I finally decided to give her a shot because she had been trying for so long. I invited her to a big party a friend was having and she said she was for sure going and bla bla bla, then doesn't show up. I didn't see her or talk to her for like a week after that and then I heard from a mutual friend that she was disappointed that I didn't text her after she didn't show up. At this point, I'm extremely confused. So I see her again a few days after this and she's acting the same way that she always had so I invite her to another party, but she can't go because she was going out of town. She then started talking about how she went out to dinner a few times with different guys that she met and bla bla bla. Then I see her again a few days ago after not talking to her for another week and she's still randomly bringing up how she's meeting guys and stuff. My question is: What the hell is this girl's deal? She literally makes no sense. I feel like she's liked me for a while but thinks I've been giving her mixed signals and is trying to see if I actually care about her or not.
Author Chrisprescott29 Posted September 17, 2013 Author Posted September 17, 2013 Anyone have any insight at all?
deathandtaxes Posted September 17, 2013 Posted September 17, 2013 Why didn't you point-blank ask her our for coffee or drinks?
Author Chrisprescott29 Posted September 17, 2013 Author Posted September 17, 2013 She was into you. Short of directly asking you out, she did everything to get your attention. You weren't into her. Your "I finally decided to give her a shot because she had been trying for so long" (which is a wrong way to approach to a relationship by the way) attitude upset her again, as she was expecting more care/attention from your end. I wish you the best of luck but if you are only interested because she has been trying for so long, you aren't doing her a favor. No, I just figured that if she liked me that much, I had might as well at least see if there was anything there. She's really attractive and cool and everything, but she's kinda immature and the way she is turned me of from liking her more than a friend. I just don't get the fact that if she liked me as much as it seems like she does, why wouldn't she just come to the party when I finally asked her out? And why does she keep trying to make me jealous after I've already invited her out twice?
Author Chrisprescott29 Posted September 17, 2013 Author Posted September 17, 2013 Why didn't you point-blank ask her our for coffee or drinks? Because we both party a lot and she talked a lot over the Summer about how I should invite her to parties and stuff
Philosopher Posted September 17, 2013 Posted September 17, 2013 In my experience if you leave it too long to ask a girl out they start to assume you are not interested and lose interest. She probably did not see you inviting her to your friend's party as a proper date as there would be limited opportunity to get to know each other in this situation. She may also have thought that you were going for the safe low risk option, since you were going to the party anyway. In future be more bold and ask her out for one on one drinks. 1
Author Chrisprescott29 Posted September 17, 2013 Author Posted September 17, 2013 I'll tell you why. She wants to date you. You inviting you a party is a weak date, as if you wanna hang out with her in a group environment. If you are really interested in seeing if there is anything there, ask her out on a proper date where it is one-one-one and at an undoubtedly romantic late night venue (where it is clear to everyone it is a date). Heck, you can even jokingly say "Hey, I wanna take you out on a date. Tuesday night, 8pm, at X." [use the word date] in case you have any doubts she would interpret it differently because you guys have been working together. Go pick her up like a real date and drop her off (where you'll have a chance to make a move, kiss or whatever that may be). It doesn't have to be anything fancy - just one-on-one quality time with flirting and fun involved. Then you go from there. That makes sense I guess. The reason why I'm confused is because she's the on that told me over the Summer that she wanted me to invite her to parties and stuff. It also doesn't explain why she is continuing to try to make me jealous after she has to know I have some interest in her after inviting her out twice
Versacehottie Posted September 18, 2013 Posted September 18, 2013 That makes sense I guess. The reason why I'm confused is because she's the on that told me over the Summer that she wanted me to invite her to parties and stuff. It also doesn't explain why she is continuing to try to make me jealous after she has to know I have some interest in her after inviting her out twice She is trying to make you jealous because it works Maybe not full-on jealous but it has at least peaked your interest. She is also going on with her life. You have basically let her know repeatedly that you're not interested. You both are sending mixed signals. It makes sense. She probably still likes you to some extent so if you want to act on it, then go for it. Your reasoning for giving her a chance because she has liked you for so long is not a good reason to go for it though. Check yourself and see that it's more than just that...or it will all get messy.
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