Keenly Posted September 18, 2013 Posted September 18, 2013 Men do the same.... If this statement is true, which its not, how do dates even take place?
Lansing Posted September 18, 2013 Posted September 18, 2013 To OP, you asked what the girl was doing, she said what she was doing... Why would you think that is an invite? Should she have lied and said "I am just at home"... ??? You could just try the "hey, when are you free this week, we should go do "... whatever My personal approach is to plan my social life and I invite girls to join me. Regardless, I am going to an event/concert/etc if they come or not so doesn't bother me as much if they flake/etc.
Author sickpuppy Posted September 18, 2013 Author Posted September 18, 2013 To OP, you asked what the girl was doing, she said what she was doing... Why would you think that is an invite? Should she have lied and said "I am just at home"... ??? You could just try the "hey, when are you free this week, we should go do "... whatever My personal approach is to plan my social life and I invite girls to join me. Regardless, I am going to an event/concert/etc if they come or not so doesn't bother me as much if they flake/etc. I didn't think that was an invite. I would think it was her simply responding to me asking what she was up to. Then I'm thinking...Uhm...I don't know..Was it? I feel if you need to play guessing games someone is playing games period. Same with the "text me" after quick small talk in person when not seeing each other for a little while. I'm thinking: "Text you about what?" Just to text? For attention? Don't you have my number as well? Didn't I text you before? Do you like me? Are you simply trying to lead me on then play stupid and justify in your mind you did nothing wrong when I do ask you out because you never liked me in the first place? The lady in my dept told me: in the end the girl I liked is the one who got played. She played herself as you never chased her and took the hint she didnt want to go out to have a good time so you didn't ask her again. Then she couldn't restrain herself from her weak excuse that wasn't needed as she thought you "may" ask again. Yet you ignored it. Kept up small talk and walked away from the situation.
Fondue Posted September 18, 2013 Posted September 18, 2013 I don't really care much for hints. Unless they specifically invite you to join them, I assume they don't want your presence there. I most often know these "hints" and when they come up, but I always pretend to be incredible aloof. WOmen give you bigger signs of interest that way, paves the way for smooth sailing, really. As far as communication goes, I limit my imitations. I actually rarely do it. I also usually call the person to setup a date and that's it. If they want to talk to me in between, it's up to them to start that up. I'm not sure if this is conventional or not, but with all that above, I don't have trouble getting dates. Multiple women, included.
Babolat Posted September 18, 2013 Posted September 18, 2013 (edited) If this statement is true, which its not, how do dates even take place? It's not true? I just checked, I AM a man, and I have dropped hints before to see if a woman is interested, will she bite. So at least 1 man in this world has. And, if I am hinting, I am usually either not sure if I am interested in the woman, it's a temperature check to see where things are with us/her, or it's a fun game previously established in the relationship, if there is a relationship, like the "code" comment I made earlier. One of my female friends will sometimes say "we should go to this/that" or "You should join us", versus directly asking. I think this is somewhat of a hint, and is appropriate. Or she will send out an email with a list of upcoming events/concerts/shows, saying something like "we should go to some of these". Edited September 18, 2013 by Babolat
Author sickpuppy Posted September 19, 2013 Author Posted September 19, 2013 Well, by "text me", I would assume she means "ask me out". That's why she never texted you. To text you about what ? Ok, that means that your getting attention from another woman made you get attention from her. Sometimes, some women see men differently, if another woman is interested in that guy. I see no harm there, unless you were shamelessly flirting with your co-worker - you said you did not. That's bad. It may have been a girls' war between who can get your attention. Since you did ask her out - and because she gave you the encouraging signs - she thought again and declined. Plenty of people out there, who only want the toy everybody is playing with. And when they get to have it, they realize that they didn't really want it, after all. Loser, you should next her! Yeah, that girl was playing. Some girls really like it if a guy is hard to get or has views on someone else... it turns them on, it's like wanting something that they cannot have. But that's just it, she wouldn't really want you - or like you. She likes the challenge, the chase. Nutcase, let another guy deal with her issues! Oh, and there will be always office gossip. As long as you play clean, you should be fine. Oh, my rule is to never date people I work with or people from work. It helped a LOT down the line. I live in a small city, that's a punishment in itself, don't need to see my past dates eye to eye at work as well ! Here's tonights update. LOL. I ran into her at work. I was walking back she turned the corner, smiled and said Hi. I said Hi back and kept walking she called to me and then said "Oh how was the feast? Did you go?" I said yes of course. I told her about it and my friends and I had a great time. (We always do as we get pretty out of control. lol) She did sound sick when she talked and then said "I'm sick. I couldn't talk. (her voice did sound bad though) I forgot to call you to let you know." I said ok. and made quick small talk and told her I had to go back to work. Then left. It's almost as if she had a hint of guilt for doing what she did to this "poor guy" is what I kindof felt. "Please. Get real toots!" In my opinion what she was doing was testing me by asking.. Not that she likes me but she was testing to see things. Test 1) See if he buys my lame excuse I "forgot" to call. Please. Would you "forget" to call out of work? If it was high on your list of priorities would you forget? (Not that it's that you aren't really sick but please you could've just called and said you didn't feel good not say nothing.) Test 2) She was trying to see if for some reason my going with my friend and his wife to the feast was dependant on her. (her asking if I went.) Nice try. Test 3) Let me read this guy and see if he seems upset or shows signs of him wishing I was there. (Uh no. You missed out.) I didn't tell her anything about "Oh you should have been there." Or show any signs of caring." Nor asking her out again. Nor running a guilt trip on her. (Which lowers you as some poor guy in womens eyes.) Just telling her about it quickly.
KAOJ Posted September 19, 2013 Posted September 19, 2013 hum... Not sure if I completely agree with the answers you got so far. Try to look from the girl's perspective: a friend texts her and asks her how she's doing. She will answer that question, but if she is out with her (girl)friends and planned to stay with them / or do stuff together, you can be sure she is not dropping you a hint to join her. I mean, she may not even say the truth, she may be home in her jammies and say she is out and about, to not look like a total loser. I'm with Candie on this one! If she is out for a "girls night out" she more than likely won't want you to come by.
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