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How do you cope?

KentuckyGent

By KentuckyGent
in The Other Man / Woman

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fanine Established Member

fanine

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I am at my wits end. I have no one to talk to. Nowhere to go. I don't know if I am going to get through this. I always thought if she ever did leave she would end up with me. It seems as if she only likes to play with my mind. What could she possibly want with talking to me? I cant function.

 

Does anyone know about her? Do you have any friends you can talk to? Here in the UK we have something called the Samaritans. A number you can call and just speak to someone. It doesnt cost anything. They are just there to talk to anyone with depressive issues. Do you have something similar in the US?

 

It is horrible. It is hard. But please stay strong. People like these are arseholes. I know that doesn't help to think that, but it is her with a big almighty problem, emotionally or whatever. You are a good person and you can get through this x

bentleychic Established Member

bentleychic

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Again, I wish we had local support groups for this type of thing. :( Hate seeing people suffer so much and no one IRL that they can really lean on for support. This place can be great, but it's just not the same.

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KentuckyGent Established Member

KentuckyGent

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I'm sorry I don't already know the answer to this but do you have a therapist? If you do, call him or her NOW. I was a therapist for years and we all had on-call for emergencies. Totally normal in the world of a therapist for someone to call and say "I need to talk NOW."

 

Yes I do and I talked to her. It helps briefly then I'm right back at square one.

thefooloftheyear Established Member

thefooloftheyear

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Yes I do and I talked to her. It helps briefly then I'm right back at square one.

 

 

Dude...Now is the time to be like an angry male Siberian Tiger that isnt to be fcked with...Get a little bit angry...Believe me, that is how to do it. She isnt fcking superwoman and she isnt the only one with a vagina.:rolleyes:

 

Tell her to go the fck away- and do it in an aggressive way....Regain your life...Dont let her keep your balls on her mantlepiece, because the way you are right now, thats what its about..

 

Take control..NO ONE can dictate how the rest of your life is going to be but yourself..

 

Man up...I know you can do it...and you will feel MUCH better when you do...

 

I know a lot of women will read this and crap on this advice, but quite frankly women arent men and dont process things the same way. All the therapy and hugs wont do shyt until you take back your life and stop letting this person control and dominate your life and thoughts.

 

I wish you well..

 

TFY

Edited by thefooloftheyear
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LilGirlandOW Established Member

LilGirlandOW

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((Hugs KentuckyGent))

 

When I re-read your story, my heart breaks for you, you seem so kind and like such a great guy. Sorry your hurting. xo

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KentuckyGent Established Member

KentuckyGent

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Dude...Now is the time to be like an angry male Siberian Tiger that isnt to be fcked with...Get a little bit angry...Believe me, that is how to do it. She isnt fcking superwoman and she isnt the only one with a vagina.:rolleyes:

 

Tell her to go the fck away- and do it in an aggressive way....Regain your life...Dont let her keep your balls on her mantlepiece, because the way you are right now, thats what its about..

 

Take control..NO ONE can dictate how the rest of your life is going to be but yourself..

 

Man up...I know you can do it...and you will feel MUCH better when you do...

 

I know a lot of women will read this and crap on this advice, but quite frankly women arent men and dont process things the same way. All the therapy and hugs wont do shyt until you take back your life and stop letting this person control and dominate your life and thoughts.

 

I wish you well..

 

TFY

 

 

Point well taken (though I only have one "ball" thanks to testicular cancer) ;) This thread is helping me soooooo much my friends.

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KentuckyGent Established Member

KentuckyGent

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((Hugs KentuckyGent))

 

When I re-read your story, my heart breaks for you, you seem so kind and like such a great guy. Sorry your hurting. xo

 

 

Thanks Lil. I've not always been a great guy. At this stage of my life though I feel like I have a whole lot to give. I wanted to give it to her. I live in a very small, economically depressed, rural area. Not a lot of dating options. Except for the times ex-MW got to spend together I have spent most of my time alone. Weekends are the worst.

thefooloftheyear Established Member

thefooloftheyear

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Point well taken (though I only have one "ball" thanks to testicular cancer) ;) This thread is helping me soooooo much my friends.

 

 

Ouch..sorry about that, hopefully you beat that demon..

 

But thats even more the reason, you aint got one to give...Take control, drop her on her effin head from the 4th story and dont let her satisfy her ego by having you in her pocket...Im serious..Youll get there.

 

Be strong!

 

TFY

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Cinnimon Established Member

Cinnimon

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Just in case anyone might need to talk to a therapist anonymously, there is a website with free therapists that are online 24/7 at Home | 7CupsOfTea.com

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Cali408 Established Member

Cali408

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I just want to say when the brain chemistry is impeding your happiness, come back to this thread and read jlola's explanations. It will bring you off the ledge.

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KentuckyGent Established Member

KentuckyGent

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Surreal that this thread came back up today as it's been one of those days. Slow at work, time to "think" (or rather obsess), wondering if I'll ever hear from her again (and not knowing if I want to or not). Day 4 of blocking her number.

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Cali408 Established Member

Cali408

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Great! My ex keeps up thinking of reasons to call. Got a message after work last night thanking me for something. To listen to this message again, Press 1, to save it, Press 2, to erase, Press 3. As they say in Monty Python, "Three shall be the count and the number of the count shall be 3. I pressed 3 and am not returning the call.

 

I can look a this two ways. She is doing me a favor not calling me during work hours or if she really wanted to talk, she would have called me during work hours. How about BOTH!

 

Moving on and not calling back is empowering. Not answering the phone is empowering. Screw the ego massage.

 

KY Gent, great job blocking. Stop obsessing, immediately fill your mind with something else. We want them to call, but don't. Really, you dont' She doesn't love you. If you saw a film of yourself content with life being left alone and one of you suffering because she calls you, which would you rather watch? It get easier after a week. Trust me. Just accept that you never want to hear from her again.

Edited by Cali408
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loveofhorses1970 Established Member

loveofhorses1970

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NC is hard. Time and distance will get you through it, or so they tell me.

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KentuckyGent Established Member

KentuckyGent

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I agree. But in my case it really is true that she never truly cared about me and that she really does have sociopathic tendencies.

giblesp Established Member

giblesp

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You give your life love and attention that no one but you can give.

 

Then the right person will come to you. Usually when you stop looking.

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