Author RiceaRoni Posted September 18, 2013 Author Posted September 18, 2013 He doesn't care if you care about him. If he did, he'd still be with you. true... Before him even texting me, and before I blocked him, someone on his blog asked him what happened between us, and if I was special to him.. He said I was special, but he's looking for something different. Hurt like crazy, but made me block him which is a step... So should I not even bother texting him to at least let me be alone for a while?
Author RiceaRoni Posted September 18, 2013 Author Posted September 18, 2013 DRAKE - COME THRU LYRICS these are the lyrics of the song he told me reminded him of me..didn't know how to interpret it, but he had said it was pretty straightforward so whatever I guess...
semicharmedlife Posted September 18, 2013 Posted September 18, 2013 He texts you because it relieves his guilt for breaking up with you...and every time you respond you give him an ego stroke...the only way you will get over him is if you go NC...who cares what he thinks? Let him wonder why you are not responding...let him think you are not responding because you are to busy having fun to respond...and soon enough you will be... 1
destroyed4sho Posted September 18, 2013 Posted September 18, 2013 Hi RR..How are you?! I havent kept up with your posts bc I havent been on here as muh as i uses to be. So is this the same old ex?....the one you saw at the mall or someone new? You know exactly what the right this is to do...you have been on here long enough...NC. To me, without knowing the details of the situation..it sounds like he is the typical young fellow that is not into something real or commitable. Your not a good match for each other. He himself sounds confused because he is into you and does not want to let you go completely yet he wants to be with someone that is different than you...less serious, more into a casual relationship,.(all assumptions to make a point) who knows?!! and who cares?! The only thing you need to know is that your not what he wants right now. What you should concentrate on is finding someone that wants the same things you do right now and lay off these other fools. You know you have to go NC for you to heal. Make a goal of not texting for a week, then go for 2 weeks etc... Your a nice beautiful girl and you dont need all this hurt anf pain at such a young delicate age. Leave him alone! 1
Ireallydontknow Posted September 18, 2013 Posted September 18, 2013 Don't kick yourself, learn. Don't make yourself feel bad. Make yourself feel good. I only say stern words like this because I care. It's not right. You need to fight! Stay strong! 1
Author RiceaRoni Posted September 18, 2013 Author Posted September 18, 2013 Hi RR..How are you?! I havent kept up with your posts bc I havent been on here as muh as i uses to be. So is this the same old ex?....the one you saw at the mall or someone new? You know exactly what the right this is to do...you have been on here long enough...NC. To me, without knowing the details of the situation..it sounds like he is the typical young fellow that is not into something real or commitable. Your not a good match for each other. He himself sounds confused because he is into you and does not want to let you go completely yet he wants to be with someone that is different than you...less serious, more into a casual relationship,.(all assumptions to make a point) who knows?!! and who cares?! The only thing you need to know is that your not what he wants right now. What you should concentrate on is finding someone that wants the same things you do right now and lay off these other fools. You know you have to go NC for you to heal. Make a goal of not texting for a week, then go for 2 weeks etc... Your a nice beautiful girl and you dont need all this hurt anf pain at such a young delicate age. Leave him alone! Hello! yeah long time no talk and no, it's not the same ex, totally different guy. Yeah he's known for casual relationships, let alone casual sex, yet is also looking for something permanent? But his actions say otherwise, so yes he's very confused with himself and what he wants, and it's been that way since after the first time he left me. thank you D4Sho. I think I've learned my lesson now...I just need to control myself and not give in to stroke his ego.
Author RiceaRoni Posted September 18, 2013 Author Posted September 18, 2013 Don't kick yourself, learn. Don't make yourself feel bad. Make yourself feel good. I only say stern words like this because I care. It's not right. You need to fight! Stay strong! No, your stern words really do help. it takes me back into reality. which is what I need sometimes, so thanks IRDK. It means a lot. Just going through confusion and i dont know what's the right thing to do, but I'm sure now. I need to go NC, for myself. I just despise how he's so selfish and is contacting me for his own benefits...
Author RiceaRoni Posted September 18, 2013 Author Posted September 18, 2013 I just hope I'm doing the right thing. I don't mind being friends with him, but not now, not when something like this happened last week. I truly enjoyed his company and liked talking to him because we had a lot in common when it came to conversation, so I kind of don't want to lose that...should I just take time for myself until I feel better, and then stop ignoring him when I feel Im over him?
Author RiceaRoni Posted September 18, 2013 Author Posted September 18, 2013 sigh...now he's asking, why I unfollowed him on his blog...through my own..asking what made me unfollow him...
Author RiceaRoni Posted September 18, 2013 Author Posted September 18, 2013 I havent responded, which is good, but I just want to tell him I need time to heal therefore I need to be left alone..
cavalier99 Posted September 18, 2013 Posted September 18, 2013 (edited) Argggg. I dont remember you being this weak. I guess it sounds harsh but what happened? You wernt like this with your previous BU. Just cut him out period. Heal. Then revisit in 6 to 8 months if you want. It is time to get some self control and self esteem. Cav Edited September 18, 2013 by cavalier99 1
Author RiceaRoni Posted September 18, 2013 Author Posted September 18, 2013 Argggg. I dont rember you being this weak. I guess it sounds harsh but what happened? You wernt like this with your previous BU. Just cut him out period. Heal. Then revisit in 6 to 8 months of you want. It is time to get soem self control and self esteem. Cav In my last BU, my ex never bothered talking to me, which helped me move on, but him...he won't stop. He wants friendship so badly from me, which I can't give him right now. Im hurting, and I need to be alone, and that means from him. I haven't told him I can't be his friend right now, so maybe that's what isnt stopping him from trying to talk to me?
Author RiceaRoni Posted September 18, 2013 Author Posted September 18, 2013 I feel if I just ignore him without telling him why, there will never be a chance of a friendship later on because he'll put that on me, he'll say I ignored him so that means I didnt want to be his friend, which I do, BUT not now.
cavalier99 Posted September 18, 2013 Posted September 18, 2013 In my last BU, my ex never bothered talking to me, which helped me move on, but him...he won't stop. He wants friendship so badly from me, which I can't give him right now. Im hurting, and I need to be alone, and that means from him. I haven't told him I can't be his friend right now, so maybe that's what isnt stopping him from trying to talk to me? Sorry gal. But either way just cut him out. Just stop responding period. Cav
cavalier99 Posted September 18, 2013 Posted September 18, 2013 I feel if I just ignore him without telling him why, there will never be a chance of a friendship later on because he'll put that on me, he'll say I ignored him so that means I didnt want to be his friend, which I do, BUT not now. That is the very last thing you should be worring about. I told my ex to F*ck off forever and never talk to me again. Then 10 months later we get along great. No problem no bad feelings. Go NC for you. Dont worry about him. Cav 1
destroyed4sho Posted September 18, 2013 Posted September 18, 2013 I feel if I just ignore him without telling him why, there will never be a chance of a friendship later on because he'll put that on me, he'll say I ignored him so that means I didnt want to be his friend, which I do, BUT not now. Look, he will be your friend for few weeks and then he will just fade, the friendship will fade and then you will be heartbroken again. Dumpers dont really want to be your "friend no matter how much the believe they do...they just want to string you along for ego, buffer the BU stages a little or just in case present doesnt work out. Cut him off now bc HE WILL cut you off soon enough. After you have healed 100% then you can be friends with him ON YOUR OWN TERMS. I wouldnt worry too.much about what he will want or.not want in a few months after you have healed...life takes many turns...hard to predict the future.
freebird31 Posted September 18, 2013 Posted September 18, 2013 you remind me a lot of MYSELF. sweet, probably really young and nice girl. youre letting him step ALL OVER YOU. look, my ex did the exact same thing to me. he strung me along for five months after he broke up with me. I was like you, TOO NICE, TOO CARING. I cared way too much about how he felt and that i kept having this hope in the back of my mind that we would get back together. HES SELFISH, okay. he wants things on HIS terms, he is not thinking of you whatsoever. You need to tell him this: "Unless youre trying to contact me for reconciliation or to work things out, dont contact me at all. I need my space and time to move on, and it would be respectable of you to give that to me" thats all you have to say. then go NC. if he wants to be with you, he will be with you. otherwise its quite clear, he doesnt want to be with you. Okay i know its harsh. but it took me five long months i learned the hard way. i made mistakes and gave in to him contacting me. I was way too damn sweet and nice and I honestly wish i would have told him to Go **** himself. but i didnt becuase i thought i might regret it. you know what, i wish i did. and you know what dont change who you are. you sound like a sweet girl someone will come around to appreciate that. But dont let people take advantage of you. if you dont step up and take action for yourself, he is going to keep on doing this to you. and youre NEVER going to feel better about yourself. youre alwasys going to be back here pouring your heart out. STICK UP FOR YOURSELF. take a damn risk and put things into control!!! its better to live with OH WELLs than WHAT IF. so first, tell him what i told u to tell him. ok. 1
freebird31 Posted September 18, 2013 Posted September 18, 2013 (edited) That is the very last thing you should be worring about. I told my ex to F*ck off forever and never talk to me again. Then 10 months later we get along great. No problem no bad feelings. Go NC for you. Dont worry about him. Cav I wish i would have told my ex to go **** himself. lol good for you. Edited September 18, 2013 by freebird31 typo 1
Author RiceaRoni Posted September 18, 2013 Author Posted September 18, 2013 Well I called and told him I need to be left alone. He said he understood...and asked "so we wont be talk for a while then huh?" I told him yeah. I need to feel better about myself...I was shaking the whole time on the phone, but I needed to do it.
freebird31 Posted September 18, 2013 Posted September 18, 2013 Good job. thats all you need. some time and some space will give you a clearer perspective on everything. I told my ex (about 3 different times) that i needed my space. he didnt get it the first time and disrespected my space i asked for. and you know what, although i missed him. it really gave me the persepective i needed. I did my own thing and focused on myself which made it a lot easier to move on. i will be honest. you are going to miss him. But dont give in to this feeling. Post on here if you have to. The next step now, is to focus on yourself. DO YOU. do things you have always wanted to try, find a new hobby, maybe start working out or going to the gym, spend ALOT of time with friends and family. surround yourself with these kinds of people. you are going to need them the most right now. keep yourself occupied. in time, things fade. 1
shortee Posted September 18, 2013 Posted September 18, 2013 He broke up with you to "look for something else" according to his blog, right? So once he finds that, he won't be texting you at all. He's just trying to keep you on the hook if he doesn't find that something else. Don't feel bad about not contacting him. Just tell him you can't be friends and you can't be there to watch him find something else. 1
Babolat Posted September 18, 2013 Posted September 18, 2013 So you didn't reply to her? it's just, I'm in the opposite position. I'm the Dumpee and he's the Dumper. I don't know why he texts me..he broke it off, I'd at least hope he would have understood how much that hurt me and respect that I need to be alone and not bothered by the person who just rejected me for the final time after a numerous amount of times. I'm trying to heal and feel better and it doesn't help when the person who hurt you wants to have a simple conbersation about my day. If its an apology or a compromise or reconcilliation i dont kind talking because it actually has a PURPOSE, but idel chit chat doesnt help me move on. Yes, I did reply to her.
Babolat Posted September 18, 2013 Posted September 18, 2013 Well I called and told him I need to be left alone. He said he understood...and asked "so we wont be talk for a while then huh?" I told him yeah. I need to feel better about myself...I was shaking the whole time on the phone, but I needed to do it. Good for you! Now, follow through or you will sent HIM mixed messages. DO NOT reply to any attempts from him to contact you. You do not owe him anything, no explanations, now "this is why...", nothing. Ignore him. Yeah, feels mean, but it's not, and you HAVE told him to stop. This guy is obviously a little messed up, confused, let him work thru that without you to lean on. 1
Author RiceaRoni Posted September 18, 2013 Author Posted September 18, 2013 He broke up with you to "look for something else" according to his blog, right? So once he finds that, he won't be texting you at all. He's just trying to keep you on the hook if he doesn't find that something else. Don't feel bad about not contacting him. Just tell him you can't be friends and you can't be there to watch him find something else. Yeah that makes sense.. Well we aren't talking as of yesterday. I'm going to give myself a good month or so. It was a short relationship, So I think I can do it and move on within a month. The last thing he said was "so I guess I'll talk to you later?" And I said "Yeah, when I'm ready" to make it on my terms. He did get me a bit upset because as I was telling him all of this, he was very quiet and said very short responses, and when I was finished telling him and waiting for him to respond like an "OK" or something he says this instead: "so am I suppose to tell you to stay and not leave or something?" I was pretty upset he said that and I said "no, I just want you to know how I feel and hope you respect that and understand".
Babolat Posted September 18, 2013 Posted September 18, 2013 "Yeah, when I'm ready" to make it on my terms. He did get me a bit upset because as I was telling him all of this, he was very quiet and said very short responses, and when I was finished telling him and waiting for him to respond like an "OK" or something he says this instead: "so am I suppose to tell you to stay and not leave or something?" I was pretty upset he said that and I said "no, I just want you to know how I feel and hope you respect that and understand". Be careful with the control element here...you now have the control if you will. He will try to, subconsciously, get that control back. Stand your ground, no contact, and more than 30 days. If there is no need to contact, then don't. 1
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