Post Hook-Up: See if there's something more or move on?

[MalachiX]

Ok, trying to figure out what to do post hook-up and could use advice.

 

First off, I should probably explain that I don't usually do this. I'm in my late 20s (frighteningly close to 30); and I've never really been one for casual encounters. When I was an under-grad (and sometimes in my early 20s); I'd make-out with girls I met at parties or bars but it would never go passed third base (and even that was rare). I think on some level I'm not entirely comfortable sleeping with someone I don't really know/like even though casual sex sounds great in theory. With the exception of one instance; full on sex is just something I only do in a relationship. I enrolled in grad school a few years ago and, for some reason, have been even more reticent to date my classmates (maybe because it feels like such an insulated group and that could be embarassing). In the three years I've been there, I've only dated two people in my program and both of those were in secret.

 

Anyway, this changed on Saturday when I had absolutely amazing sex with a girl from my program. Now I'm trying to figure out what to do post hook-up.

 

I'd met this girl a few times before but never had a class with her. We're both photography/cinematography nuts so we'd previously had a few short-lived but awesomely nerdy conversations about lenses and cameras.

 

She and some friends threw a party on Saturday at her place. We ended up getting pretty drunk and started talking photography again. She showed me some of her work and and we started being oddly cuddly (leaning on each other, grasping hands). As the last of the people were trickling out (save for two who passed out in the place); we just started kissing and just went for it.

 

Despite being drunk, we seemed to have pretty amazing sexual chemistry (and energy). At least, I thought we had great chemistry and I'm assuming she did as well because she kept initiating more sex throughout the night (I'd start to cuddle and she'd pull me into another round). We kept doing it well into the morning (with very short breaks of sleep) and only stopped when a mutual friend (who had passed out) wandered in on us.

 

I should probably rewind a little bit now: Earlier in the night, another mutual friend (also drunk) had tried to light a cigarette for this girl and accidentally poked her in the eye (then apologized profusely and went home). It didn't seem to bother her much at first but, by morning, she was really feeling it.

 

We cuddled through the morning and chatted with our mutual friend who was still trying to wake up. After her eye was still bothering her, I asked if I could drive her to see a doctor. She said that she'd already texted a friend who would give her a ride. I made sure her other friend got a taxi home and stayed with her until her other friend arrived (by this point it was the afternoon).

 

Now I'm not sure exactly sure where we go from hear.

 

I texted her on facebook later that day asking how her eye was. She said it was actually worse than she thought and she'd have to take a week with it covered.

 

I don't know if me and this girl would work in a relationship but I'd be curious to find out. Before that night, we sort of new each other and respected each other on a professional level. In hindsight, I probably felt more OK hooking-up with her that night because she'd showed me some of her work and I felt a little bit of a connection.

 

I hate to say it (and sound like a typical guy); but even if she had no interest in going on an actual date, I'd still kinda be curious to see if she'd want a friends with benefits situation (I've never done that but, once again, we really seemed to have amazing chemistry).

 

Right now, it's hard to gauge how she feels. She's not from the USA so there's a bit of a language barrier. We're just messaging on Facebook and it's hard to be subtle when someone's English is poor. The next day I offered to bring her some food since she couldn't drive but she said a friend had already offered to do this. She hasn't asked or expressed an interest in seeing me again but she's been continuing to message me and sounds friendly and enthusiastic (though, it's hard to be 100% sure because of the language barrier).

 

Things are starting to feel little awkward because she says she doesn't remember much of the party (including showing me her photos). I don't if that's a hint that this was supposed to be just a one-time-thing. She was still very cuddly and seemingly affectionate into the next morning (even when her friend came in); but I'm not sure if that was just post-sex stuff. Once again, I don't usually sleep with people I'm not dating so it's hard to tell (also, I tend to get super-cuddly and affecitonate myself after sex so that probably confuses things).

 

Sorry for being so long-winded. thoughs?

[BradJacobs]

You think too much.

 

Just enjoy the fun and sex. If something more develops then that's great but don't try to label and define every minute detail of a hook up.

[MalachiX]

You think too much.

 

Lol. Based on my giant wall of text, I'm thinking you may have a point.