on_the_edge Posted September 17, 2013 Posted September 17, 2013 (edited) Posted a little while ago on my situation on how I'm trying to win back my former FWB. -we were co-workers/friends for about a year, then became FWB -FWB lasted for about a year, with her dropping hints every so often that she might prefer escalating into a serious relationship. I was not in the right frame of mind (depressed, but never disclosing it). I simply couldn't even envision a LTR in that dark state of mind. -We broke things off amicably, and stayed friends after the termination. We discussed a LTR about a month after splitting, but I still couldn't see it happening. -We spoke and texted one another periodically for about a year until we went a solid month and a half without communicating. -I broke the ice and contacted her around mid August. Spoke for a good half hour or so, tried to arrange a casual meeting, but she essentially flaked on me. I tried again to get together more than two weeks later, and I correctly sensed that she was going to flake on me again, so I called her out on it. Apparently, this struck a nerve (she replied via text that she didn't want me to perceive her as a flake, that she didn't want to see me because she was still confused emotionally.) -I decided to go for broke the next day and tell her that I wanted to see her in person because I wanted to ask her for a serious relationship. She was completely blindsided, calling it a massive curveball. We talked for over an hour and I explained to her how I've been taking steps over the last three months to get my life straight, and how I now feel much more confident to move into a serious relationship with her. She genuinely came across as needing more time to dwell on my proposal, telling me she was going to need "some time to let it sink in". I advised her to reach out and get the opinion of those she confided in the most. I told her that I didn't want her to feel any pressure, if she chose "yes", we could go slow and ease our way into a relationship very gradually, but I could perfectly understand a "no" if that is what she decided. She told me I would hear from her again.. -Some 10 days later, no contact, until she sends me a text late on a Friday night exclaiming that she got a position in a new job she was applying for. I congratulate her, wish her well, and tell her she needs to make some time to celebrate this (I never included myself in this celebration) She then replies (the following morning, as I replied much later when she was already sleeping) that she'll be celebrating with friends later on in the night and that I could join her and her friends if I liked. -I hung out with her and her friends that night. Night went well. We spoke, had a good time over a beer or two. I played it cool the whole night. Decided not to make any power moves and just be there as an outgoing friend. Maybe it had to do with the fact that it was a bit loud and she had a few friends at the table with us, but she did not give a single sign that she was "scared" (on account of emotionally confusion) around me. In fact, she even made a few sexual innuendos during conversation, which was a bit surprising for me because after our FWB relationship, whenever we spoke, she constantly made an effort to avoid any sexual topics. We had a group of about 7 guys and girls, and she was even the one to suggest we migrate to a nearby strip club to continue celebrating her new job and the birthday of a guy from among our group. We never wound up going. I said goodbye, hugged, and as I was walking away, she gave her friends the keys of her car for them to wait and to give us some time to speak alone. I insisted on being cool, kept the conversation very short, light, and we hugged one more time and said our goodbyes. She sent me a text when she got home that it was good to see me, and to thank me for coming out to celebrate with her. That was Saturday night. My questions are: how hopeful does this look? Should this be interpreted as an indication of which way she is leaning in regard to my LTR question? How much weight should be placed on the fact that she invited me to hang out with her good friends, people who certainly know me by reputation, who she more than likely discussed my LTR idea with (but I never met while we were FWB)? Now that my intentions have been made clear, should I sit back and wait for her to reach out? Should I try again to invite her to a casual get together during this week or the next? Would love to hear your opinions. I got some great insight on here last time, applied it (making my intentions as clear as possible) and I believe it's very much the reason I am where I am at the moment, for better or worse. Anyhow, thank you! Edited September 17, 2013 by on_the_edge
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