TheGoid Posted September 17, 2013 Posted September 17, 2013 (edited) I haven't been in a relationship in 5 years due to being soured by a terrible woman. I've been dating a woman who I like for about 2 weeks, a mutual friend set us up. We've been on 4 dates and have been sexually active, but we are not exclusive yet. We really haven't talked about our relationship at all, just enjoying what happens. She is an amazing woman, but I can already tell that I may not be with her for the long haul. I don't have that hook like I have had with previous relationships. I'm not "ga-ga" for her. I have only had serious relationships with 3 other women in the past that didn't last much longer than 1 year each, if that. She's really the best woman I have ever dated, but my fear is I am just getting back into dating and I feel "promiscuous". Also, I recently lost a bunch of weight and am getting into shape, so my confidence is up where it has never been before (to say something without actually using the words, I am shallow right now). She's 31 and I'm 30 and I can't help but think that eventually I'll break her heart and waste her time. I do need practice on the dating scene, but I respect this woman dearly and I don't want to hurt her with empty promises. She deserves to be loved, solely and completely. Thanks in advance for any advice. PS, I should also point out that she might be jaded toward dating. She told me she is off dating sites and only wants to be setup through friends. Key difference here is I have never tried online dating, since I was a lonely, sheltered, depressed POS for the last 5 years. Edited September 17, 2013 by TheGoid
Fondue Posted September 17, 2013 Posted September 17, 2013 I'd say that as long as you are not leading her on, not giving her empty promises, and not pushing anything more than casual dating, then you're fine. Enjoy her company, enjoy the dates, and enjoy the sex. Continue to see what's out there. 1
Author TheGoid Posted September 17, 2013 Author Posted September 17, 2013 I was leaning in that direction, do you think I should be open with her about my feelings of the situation, or just leave it?
Fondue Posted September 17, 2013 Posted September 17, 2013 I was leaning in that direction, do you think I should be open with her about my feelings of the situation, or just leave it? Just leave it. Don't discuss that stuff, honestly. She'll be even further convinced that things are probably not going to go anywhere. It'll probably work in your favor (in terms of what you want to accomplish + what you're trying to convey to her).
tinydancer93 Posted September 17, 2013 Posted September 17, 2013 Discuss it openly with her. You don't want to risk breaking her heart. I'm a woman, and I would definitely rather a man be honest with me than be led on (which I have experienced twice, and it's heart-breaking). 1
Author TheGoid Posted September 17, 2013 Author Posted September 17, 2013 Discuss it openly with her. You don't want to risk breaking her heart. I'm a woman, and I would definitely rather a man be honest with me than be led on (which I have experienced twice, and it's heart-breaking). I'm going out with her tomorrow and I will bring up the subject. I'm definitely no player and I would want the same if the roles were reversed.
Author TheGoid Posted September 17, 2013 Author Posted September 17, 2013 You are not a good man with good character and morals so you'll continue to use her for easy sex and feel okay with it. Meanwhile you'll prowl on the side for those hot chicas you have always wanted that you feel are worthy of you. Tinydancer- sex trumps a woman's feelings. Have you not noticed this is how men are today? She's actually the only woman I have talked to in the past 5 years that I have actually pursued something with, if you must know. I just turned 30 and have some insecurities to deal with for sure. I personally don't see anything wrong with dating around. This is the reason I am going to bring it up with her. Things will likely end, but I am not ready for a serious relationship. Honestly, the women I've dated in the past did it to me without even letting me know, so that might be why I have such a jaded outlook.
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