This would trial number 4

[Krisb21]

Okay so I met this girl. Everything was good until this guy was trying to tell me he was kissing my girlfriend of three months at the time so I asked her about it. And she swore to me she didn't and he was trying to get in my head to leave her. So I believed her. And more thing went around she had my Facebook password and she looked through my messages.

 

I didn't care because I had nothing to hide. She gave me her and I went to hers and she was talking about having sex with guys from my school. I confronted her and she swore up and down her friend used her Facebook too. I said okay but I don't believe her still. Well after that I saw she had sent pictures to guys two guys. And I found out. And I confronted her. (She has depression and she was having that time) her excuse what that I was smothering her so she need approval from other guys. I didn't know how to deal with her depression so I always ask how she was constantly and tried to help.

 

But there isn't any help with that. Well free all that I though long and hard and decided to stay because she was the first girl I actually cared for and loved. A few time I 'took breaks' like just relive from all the stress because I didn't trust her from all that. So being us have been in the relationship 11 or so months in we were always fighting and it was my fault I'll admit it. And I noticed but I couldn't stop. So I told her I know she isn't happy which was true and I wanted her to so I broke up with her. And she said okay and that wasn't the answer I was expecting. Well it's been almost another month since that and I have really messed up have given her the upper hand by begging and pleading.

 

But through all this her bestfriend which is a girl opened up to her and told her she liked her. So her and the best friend have been hanging out a lot lately and she said she really liked her. But she loves me and like me. She just can't trust me because of the three times I broke up with her. But when I did I assured her it was temporary and we'd be back. But anyways I always ask her to hang out and she denies me but will see me after classes and such but she won't kiss me. And just recently she told me she really liked her bestfriend and I freaked out and asked her out in doing such she said I awoken her and she has been put back on track.

 

She says she doesn't want to get un attached but it's what has to happen. She only thinks that. And what we have in like no special. It was literally love at first sight. But she just told me to unattach myself because she doesn't want to get hurt from me again

 

 

I really don't have a clue what to do. Please give me some advice.

Edited September 17, 2013 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[pteromom]

But she just told me to unattach myself because she doesn't want to get hurt from me again

 

 

I really don't have a clue what to do. Please give me some advice.

 

She told you what she wants. She wants you to unattach.

 

Doesn't look like you have much of a choice.

 

The best thing to do is to take this space and work on yourself. You said you fought a lot and realized it was your fault but couldn't stop. You need to work on that so that you have more control of your actions.

 

She doesn't sound at all like she is ready for a relationship. She has a lot of issues that she needs to work out on her own before she will be able to be faithful to someone.

 

Love is great, but love isn't enough to hold a relationship together. It's ok to love her and let her go.

[lylat333]

It sounds to me like you never had much of a real relationship. Only 3 months in, not only was she kissing another guy but she lied to you about it.

 

She then uses your FB password to snoop on you... which imo is a projection of her infidelity onto you.

 

Depression does not excuse her telling you that you were smothering her so she "needed" approval from other guys. Total cop-out.

 

One thing you said that really concerns me is, "She just can't trust me because of the three times I broke up with her." ??? She's pointing the finger at you for trust issues??

 

And again you say, "But she just told me to unattach myself because she doesn't want to get hurt from me again"

 

If you take a step back I think you'll see there's been trouble at every turn. It's so hard to look at a person objectively when they are the "love at first sight" kind of person, that's exactly how I see my ex. I remember the instant I first saw her face and every time I picture her like that it completely disarms me. I think it blinds me to a lot of what went on between us even though I don't want to admit it.

 

My advice is to start moving on... she's made it clear she doesn't want you pursuing a relationship. There are red flags anywhere, I don't know what would make you think you could trust her at all at this point. This would be trial 4... I see no reason it won't end for the same reasons the first 3 did.

Edited September 17, 2013 by lylat333

[Krisb21]

It sounds to me like you never had much of a real relationship. Only 3 months in, not only was she kissing another guy but she lied to you about it.

 

She then uses your FB password to snoop on you... which imo is a projection of her infidelity onto you.

 

Depression does not excuse her telling you that you were smothering her so she "needed" approval from other guys. Total cop-out.

 

One thing you said that really concerns me is, "She just can't trust me because of the three times I broke up with her." ??? She's pointing the finger at you for trust issues??

 

And again you say, "But she just told me to unattach myself because she doesn't want to get hurt from me again"

 

If you take a step back I think you'll see there's been trouble at every turn. It's so hard to look at a person objectively when they are the "love at first sight" kind of person, that's exactly how I see my ex. I remember the instant I first saw her face and every time I picture her like that it completely disarms me. I think it blinds me to a lot of what went on between us even though I don't want to admit it.

 

My advice is to start moving on... she's made it clear she doesn't want you pursuing a relationship. There are red flags anywhere, I don't know what would make you think you could trust her at all at this point. This would be trial 4... I see no reason it won't end for the same reasons the first 3 did.

 

 

 

She doesn't snoop through my fb. And I told her I am gonna leave her alone. And she got upset and I stopped replying to her for a hour then I basically get text bombed from her saying that she does was us but she needs to sort out her feeling. But she is still going to continue holding hands and stuff with the chick she likes. And I told her that in my heart feels like cheating. To hold hands with her and to be supposedly in love with me. Her come back is I'm single. But every night we some how find our way to talking on the phone and se is the sweetest thing saying I love you and everything will be okay. I'm so confused. I don't want to move on but the heart ache of seeing her holding hands in so un bearable.

[Krisb21]

I told her id leave be. And be happy with her and I apologized for being an ass. She later texts me which I ignore in trying to get over it. But then she opens up saying that no matter how mad she gets at me she can't stay mad because she is inlove with me. But she is scared because of what I did. But anyways she says se is gonna continue holding hands with the girl she likes and it hurts me and I made sure she knew that but all se said was well I'm single. I really don't know what to do.

[Misfortune]

I would just leave her be, nothing you say will change her mind right now. She needs to live out this thing with her friend or it'll just come back to bite you if you do reconcile. It hurts you but it makes her feel good, she's looking out for herself. You should do the same by taking care of yourself and becoming emotionally healthy again. I've seen people reconcile from much worst than just breaking up a few times. She's just making excuses to send you on a guilt trip so she can do what she wants with her "friend".

 

What happen to the days when you could trust that people and their bestfriends don't do intimate things? Seems like you really can't trust anyone in this world.

Edited September 18, 2013 by Misfortune