dumped because she wasn't ready for a relationship..should I ever break NC?

[ShadowFoxx24]

So..I met this fantastic girl, we dated for about 3 months..then we started going out officially as bf and gf for about a month. Everything was going great, we kissed from time to time, had sex once, walked with her and her dog, went to theme parks, fancy restruants, mall, pool, beach, etc..It was clear we were both crazy about eachother…but one day right out of the blue she texts me shes been thinking a lot and shes not ready for a relationship. She said I’m an amazngly wonderful person and that I bring so much happiness into the world..but the way her life is right now, a relationship just wasnt something she could handle. She also said there are things in her past she is still trying to overcome and it isnt fair for me to just get a small piece and that I deserve 1000 times more..She also told me shes used to being on her own and she stays extremely busy because she isnt ready to let someone in again. I accepeted the breakup telling her I want whats best for you and if thats it, I truly wish you the best. The last text she sent me was “thank you for being so understanding..you truly are a gift to this world..don’t ever forget that”..I feel like she has feelings for me still, but she wants to sort her life out first..I’ve been in no contact for about a week..but her best friend whom she talks to on a daily basis has been liking my facebook statuses and photos recently so I’m not sure if that means anything..But so far I’m just living life with no regrets..whether she comes out of this state of mind or not..I will always respect her and the relationship we once had together..As a dumpee should I break NC after a month or should I move on with my life forget about her

[reddragon588]

There should not be any "time limit" on NC. If you are ready to break it, you will know and it won't come after some magical time. There's no alarm that will go off saying, you're ready. If you can imagine her walking down the aisle on her wedding day with someone else, then you might be ready to break NC. Until then, I wouldn't suggest it as it will only lead to more hurt. I've found this out this weekend myself. It set me back.

 

As far as your situation, I hate to tell you, but it's most likely not meant to be. I've had this happen to myself, and I've read it quite a few times on these same boards. What she fails to mention when she says "I'm not ready for a relationship" is "with you."

 

The good news is, if you go NC, she will have an opportunity to recognize if she does want a relationship with you. Or maybe she does realize that, but you realize you don't want to be in a relationship with her and move on.

 

Either way, you win

[ShadowFoxx24]

I forgot to mention that she was in a relationship for 4 years previously before ours. Her boyfriend ended up proposing to her, but ended up cheating on her in the end. I guess she still has some insecurities as well. She also taking 7 college courses, ontop of work and I know she couldn't even sleep at night..When you add it all up she simply didn't have enough time for me which makes sense...Hell she didnt even hang with her best friend until 3 weeks later. I think I'm going to figure out my life first before I even think about contacting her, whether it be months or years. I think knowing we ended on good terms allows me to find myself and maybe someday she will realize what we had was special, but no promises. Thanks for the feedback btw Reddragon..been going through a tough time . Good to know theres people out there that understand this stuff

[reddragon588]

I forgot to mention that she was in a relationship for 4 years previously before ours. Her boyfriend ended up proposing to her, but ended up cheating on her in the end. I guess she still has some insecurities as well. She also taking 7 college courses, ontop of work and I know she couldn't even sleep at night..When you add it all up she simply didn't have enough time for me which makes sense...Hell she didnt even hang with her best friend until 3 weeks later. I think I'm going to figure out my life first before I even think about contacting her, whether it be months or years. I think knowing we ended on good terms allows me to find myself and maybe someday she will realize what we had was special, but no promises. Thanks for the feedback btw Reddragon..been going through a tough time . Good to know theres people out there that understand this stuff

 

Definitely! You have the right idea right here: "I thin I'm going to figure out my life first before I even think about contacting her". That's what you need to focus on. Once you've moved forward with that more you may not even feel the need to contact her anymore.

 

We are all here to help. I've found a lot of help on these boards too!