bumblebee22 Posted September 16, 2013 Posted September 16, 2013 As hard as I try to be happy and not dwell on things I really can't stop thinking about my ex. I should hate him for what he's done to me, what he's put me through and what I feel right now but I don't. I love him a lot and I never gave up on him. He strung me along for the past 3 weeks texting me but never trying to work out the problems. He wants time to himself which is absolutely fine and I understand that but why do I always end up the one who holds on? Why am I the one whos upset and crying all the time? I just can't shake these hopes that one day I'll wake up and he'll be waiting outside my apartment for me or something stupid. I dream about him every night and I check my phone constantly to see if there will be a text. On saturday night i told him I was done doing this back and forth and if we werent going to be together then i didnt want to talk and he replied saying "so thats it, youre done?" and i didnt answer. I don't want to answer but it hurts that he would really leave it at that and not even try. He knows how I am feeling. He knows how bad this hurts. I know if we speak again in 6 months or whatever and I ask him why he didnt try to fix it after that he will say he thought i was done for good. That's always his excuse for why he doesn't put in the effort that is needed. "i thought you were really serious and it was over" yet over the past few weeks he has known the pain that i was in and what i was going through. Why do people who claim to love you want to put you through so much pain? If I ever saw him cry over me like this or saw that he was hurting I would never want to be the cause of that pain. I wish I could snap myself out of it but I'm stuck at this school where the past 2 years I've been with him every minute. Everything on my campus reminds me of him- i can't escape it no matter what i try to do. I know this is such a trivial thing compared to what alot of people deal with but it feels like my heart has been hit by a thousand buses.
loveiswar101 Posted September 16, 2013 Posted September 16, 2013 Going through same thing, feel I'm alot older then yourself (campus) but give him a little space. I'm not sure of the NC thing if there is possible a light at the end, but if texting keep it lean, to the point and what I've learn't off here not needy. I know I can do that (LOL, now I can, wasn't) but for me it's the no seeing, no touching, that I miss. Nothing wrong with being polite though, not the friends trip, but just touch base now and then. Remember every one and every BU if different. Every bodies scenario is different and everyone solution and actions are different. Hope helps.
JoelBarish Posted September 17, 2013 Posted September 17, 2013 I can relate to what you are saying BumbleBee. I understand that you feel like if you leave the ball in his court, the relationship will die completely. I felt the same way and I couldn't leave things alone so I texted way too much trying to make things happen. Check out my "stalker" post. I mean there I was imagining how my ex thought all these bad things about me and it turned out it was all in my mind. And in spite of all my behavior that I assumed would drive her away, yet she came over today. Okay so my point is that you are assuming your ex is being cold or doesn't care but that is probably not completely true. If you had an emotional bond for any length of time he must be feeling the loss on some level. As to your ex not making the effort to contact you again, like I said check our my thread. I was so convinced my ex would never speak to me again and she came over to talk. I guess what I am saying is sometimes you have to leave things in your exes court sometimes and you might be surprised. However, be prepared for things not to work out so you will be fine either way.
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