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Indirectly getting dumper's attention?


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Posted

It's been 6 months since breakup and almost 3 months NC. I've mostly moved forward but I still love my ex who left me (for understandable reasons: I was depressed, we got in lots of fights, he lost feelings). There's an old blog I used to write on that he is still shown to be a "follower" of.

 

Now that we've had lots of time between us, should I post a blog entry about my sincerest feelings about him in the format of a letter on my website? It would be as if I "forgot" he's still a follower because I want him to understand my thoughts and feelings without me actually talking to him directly.

 

Please tell me what you guys think. Every good that I've experienced in life since our breakup, I would immediately think of him and wish he could have been there to share it with me.

Posted

No.

 

And I'll tell you why.

 

Your still hung up on him.

 

Or you wouldn't be trying to get his attention.

 

If he wanted it, he would reach out

 

Stay healing..and leave it be for now.

 

When you could absolutely care less, then come back and talk.

 

 

:)

 

 

 

Barky

  • Like 2
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Posted
No.

 

And I'll tell you why.

 

Your still hung up on him.

 

Or you wouldn't be trying to get his attention.

 

If he wanted it, he would reach out

 

Stay healing..and leave it be for now.

 

When you could absolutely care less, then come back and talk.

 

 

:)

 

 

 

Barky

 

We started NC because I made it clear if he didn't want to be with me that I had to move on with my life. He ignored my text and we haven't talked since then......

 

If I could absolutely care less like you say, then there would be no talk anyway, as the talk I want is about wanting to start over again. :(

Posted

If you want to ask him to see you again, be direct and don't manipulate through your blog. Thats what your planning...a manipulation.

 

People manipulate because they are afraid to ask directly for what they want/need. Your life shouldnt be run from fear.

  • Like 2
Posted

if he didn't want to be with me that I had to move on with my life. He ignored my text and we haven't talked since then......

 

So doesn't this make it more apparent not to reach out in anyshape or form to him?

 

You said it, you're moving on.

 

So do it.

 

There will be no "us" talk.

 

A one sided us talk goes nowhere

 

 

 

 

BarkyBarky

Posted

That's extremely manipulative and your ex is going to see right through the ruse.

Posted

That is passive aggressive behavior that will take you nowhere. If you want to broach the subject of reconciliation you need to do it directly. However, based on what you've said here, I would prepare myself to be disappointed when you do. You broached the subject before, and his non reply is an explicit no answer. I would suggest moving forward, let him come to you if he wants to. If he doesn't, and he hasn't so far, then you will know and spare yourself the pain of rejection again.

  • Like 1
Posted

He made it clear that he didn't want it correct?

 

So you reaching out and not get what you're after WILL set u back to square one.

 

 

 

 

Barky

  • Author
Posted

I agree with what you have all said. I didn't look at it as manipulation. I wanted to do this because I thought it would help him remember our good times more (I was planning to include photos and such). I thought 1) this could be therapeutic for me to write and 2) since we don't talk anymore, maybe this could give him insight into things from MY perspective

Posted
I agree with what you have all said. I didn't look at it as manipulation. I wanted to do this because I thought it would help him remember our good times more (I was planning to include photos and such). I thought 1) this could be therapeutic for me to write and 2) since we don't talk anymore, maybe this could give him insight into things from MY perspective

 

Doing something to try to elicit a certain behavior is manipulation. It's a bad idea. Don't do it.

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