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Casual sex to get over an ex


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Posted

Alrighty, so I've been dating someone, but we broke up over the weekend. Today, an old flame called, and we made plans to hang out. We'd dated in the past for nearly four months, but soon I realized commitment was probs never going to happen. I suggested that we be friends, and he was alright with that.

 

Thing is, I want to hook up with him :D Partially because I'm hoping it'll help cure my post-breakup blues, but mostly because I'm horny (my most recent "ex" and I never consummated our short-lived relationship). At this point, I'm in danger of carpel tunnel :lmao:

 

However, I have my reservations. I'm probably not the best candidate for casual sex. Although I feel SO lackluster about a relationship with him right now, there's a good chance that'll change after sex. I'm not kidding, my brain must produce double the oxytocin or something. I want to do it, but I'm not so sure if I should.

Posted

Let the guy know where you're coming from so you don't hurt the sod in the process if it turns out that he's your rebound and it goes no further.

 

Chances are he wants to sleep with you as well.

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Posted
Chances are he wants to sleep with you as well.

 

Yeah there's no doubt about that. Back when I was dating him, I was reluctant to have sex outside of a committed relationship, so we never did. Nowadays, I'm feeling a little differently about things. My hormones are telling me "yessss." My sense of logic is rolling its eyes at me.

Posted

Just consider all the aftermath. Often times people get hurt after casual sex because they are not on the same page.

Posted
Just consider all the aftermath. Often times people get hurt after casual sex because they are not on the same page.

 

Agree 100%. Be upfront and agree in advance what you're doing. You're not looking for a relationship, you're just looking for some casual sex. You have to talk to your fwb. And if either of you show signs of attaching to the other, cut it off immediately. Then rethink and talk about it.

Posted

my friends are trying to push me out to get laid.They think it will help with hurt feelings i have, to have casual sex...i dont really get that correlation but anyway.....

 

having sex to me doesnt really solve anything accept for physical desire, when it isnt in a committed relationship and you are not the type to have casual sex it can cause more problems than what it is worth..i dont like sleeping with people i dont know who also dont know me .....i find it mechanical and unpleasant not at all intimate because i dont want to kiss them and i dont

i wouldnt go against what you truly feel if i were you...only you know what that true feeling is...if you dont really like casual sex, follow that thought and dont do it, do what you feel si right for you .....and physical desire comes and goes it doesnt stay full on all the time.....dont do something in the heat of the moment you will regret......for you and the other person you get intimate with.....because it isnt uncommon for guys to fall for a girl they have sex with either its not just women who do, that is something that used to make me feel quite horrible is when guys want more than just a one nighter and you have no interest in them......so these thoughts are what keeps me celibate outside of a committed relationship i dont want to hurt anyone nor do i want unfulfilling sex i want it to be with someone i truly care about. awakening desires with an ex...well...thought about it a long time ago...not such a good idea......deb

Posted
Alrighty, so I've been dating someone, but we broke up over the weekend. Today, an old flame called, and we made plans to hang out. We'd dated in the past for nearly four months, but soon I realized commitment was probs never going to happen. I suggested that we be friends, and he was alright with that.

 

Thing is, I want to hook up with him :D Partially because I'm hoping it'll help cure my post-breakup blues, but mostly because I'm horny (my most recent "ex" and I never consummated our short-lived relationship). At this point, I'm in danger of carpel tunnel :lmao:

 

However, I have my reservations. I'm probably not the best candidate for casual sex. Although I feel SO lackluster about a relationship with him right now, there's a good chance that'll change after sex. I'm not kidding, my brain must produce double the oxytocin or something. I want to do it, but I'm not so sure if I should.

 

Goddamnit, why do people always look for trouble.

 

Listen - here are the facts:

 

a. You guys have history so this **** will never be completely emotion-less, regardless of what you guys agree on beforehand

b. You are in a volatile emotional state. Take a little time to cool down and THEN go ****.

c. As a girl (I assume you look at least "ok") you have PLENTY of options to find casual sex partners who you do NOT know and who you can jsut have disappear once you have had your fill of orgasms

 

In short - go find a casual **** with a random person, have fun and move on.

 

Do NOT do this with your ex. You're playing with fire and you will much more likely than not get burned.

Posted

I am missing sex like crazy, and I have my share of opportunities around me, but I can't do casual sex. I say hang in there, get some braces for your wrists if they get too painful :laugh: and wait it out and stick to your values and morals, and good character.

Posted

If you're not sure you can handle it, then don't. The casual sex lifestyle is not for everybody.

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