seekingpeaceinlove Posted September 16, 2013 Posted September 16, 2013 Just wanted to add a positive thread for those with aching hearts. I cried like someone died 5 weeks ago when my bf of 1.5 years decided to call it quits. We were both unhappy, fighting a lot but I was madly in love with him and wanted to try to make it work. He did not. He's text me twice to say hi, but other than that I've maintained NC. The first 2-3 weeks were brutal but I pushed myself to meet up with friends, family, go exercise and eat healthy. I've started hiking a lot and with each step I take I imagine myself piecing my heart back together again one shard at a time. I think about him every day but the gut wrenching ache is gone. I can think about him and not cry or feel that sickness in my heart and stomach. I still miss him and the companionship dearly but I've accepted that he's not the right one for me and am starting to move on. This quote helped me: "Spend your time on those that love you unconditionally. Don't waste it on those that only love you when the conditions are right for them." I'm lucky to have turned the corner so soon. The healing process has been a roller coaster and the emotions come in waves but with good friends, family, meditation and this forum...I'm so much better than 5 weeks ago. You all will be better too. Be proactive about your healing but understand that it takes time. 1
JoelBarish Posted September 16, 2013 Posted September 16, 2013 Well congrats to you! I'm glad to hear you're feeling well. It sounds like you have handled things the right way (unlike some of us) *cough* me. But you have kept up the NC and have been getting active and that shows what a positive effect that can bring. Please continue to keep us updated. It really helps all of us here to know we are not alone in our struggles and that we feel we are part of a community. :cool:
Author seekingpeaceinlove Posted September 16, 2013 Author Posted September 16, 2013 Thanks, JoelBarish. Trust me, I was a wreck just a few weeks ago. I would drive by his house and freak out if his lights were off immediately correlating that to him not being home and being out on a date. I would call my sister or best friend crying hysterically and being irrational. Unfortunately, we live in the same neighborhood and he lives on a street that takes me directly to the grocery store. So, in an effort to preserve my sanity, I now take a detour. Though it's been inconvenient, taking the route to avoid seeing his house (and whether he may be home or not) has helped immensely. He and his life are no longer my business. He chose to walk away. He didn't love me enough to stay so why should I torture myself for him. I tell myself this every day. Don't beat yourself up for having emotions. Love and heartbreak makes us do stupid & irrational things. It's all a process and it's your own journey. Nothing is really right or wrong...just do everything you can to make yourself better. Good luck and keep posting! 1
JoelBarish Posted September 16, 2013 Posted September 16, 2013 Thanks, JoelBarish. Trust me, I was a wreck just a few weeks ago. I would drive by his house and freak out if his lights were off immediately correlating that to him not being home and being out on a date. I would call my sister or best friend crying hysterically and being irrational. I know that you were obviously in a lot of pain just then but I can't help but laugh - at myself - because you remind me of myself and how silly I am when I jump to the worst possible conclusions. At least I am not the only one.
Author seekingpeaceinlove Posted September 16, 2013 Author Posted September 16, 2013 It does and it will, alwayscoffee. I'm so sorry you're going through this as well but I promise that your pain will lessen and eventually cease. What also helped me was to focus on having good moments. Eventually those good moments will turn into good days and then good weeks and so on and so forth. Take it one day at a time. Baby steps. (HUGS)
Author seekingpeaceinlove Posted September 16, 2013 Author Posted September 16, 2013 Crazy how the mind works right? I tried the rubber band around wrist thing for a while. Every time I started thinking about ex being with another girl I snapped that rubber band hard. It helped! I know that you were obviously in a lot of pain just then but I can't help but laugh - at myself - because you remind me of myself and how silly I am when I jump to the worst possible conclusions. At least I am not the only one.
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