She Broke Up With Me Because She's Depressed. How Do I Move On?

[spearit]

My now ex-gf just broke up with me yesterday because she's been going through a depressive episode, and she feels like she needs to be alone. For the past 2 weeks, she's cut herself off from the world, and along with her friends, I barely saw her.

 

We talked last night, and she decided that she needs to be alone because she needs to focus on herself and feels like she has no motivation for life or her self, so how can she possibly put anything into a relationship? I said I know she'd get through this, and I'd want to support her through it, to which she replied she would feel incredibly guilty all the time and that would lead to resentment. Plus she said it wasn't fair to her to have the added pressure of maintaining a relationship.

 

 

I get what she's saying, but I am at such a loss right now. We were all lovey dovey up until about a month ago, when she told me some depressive stories of her past (which she didn't even tell her ex of 2 years). She said she also started getting her life together when she was alone, but then met and fell for me, and started hanging out more and neglected other areas (we were far from hanging out every day).

 

The worst part is how cold and numb and just irritated she was during the breakup talk. I know she's just been depressed in general, but I can't help but feel so insignificant and small during all of this, like I didn't even matter. she told me she loved me a month back (to which I said the same) and then a week later she went into a depressive state.

 

So what do I do? We have the same social group so I will see her. I know she's going out tonight and that really hurts, it's like she wasn't even affected by our breakup at all even though she told me previously she's been such a wreck lately that she's just been throwing up almost everyday (this is before we broke up).

 

I feel so depressed, so defeated, because it took so much for me to let someone back in my life like that.

 

Sorry for the long windedness but I needed to get this off my chest. I really cared about her, and all of a sudden it seems like she just doesn't care about me at all.

[Philosoraptor]

Depression and unhappiness with what is inside can make one numb to what's outside of their own little world. If it's her depression then all you can do is wish her well, know you didn't do anything to cause this, and work on moving on. Go NC as much as possible, immerse yourself in your hobbies, treat yourself well, and do what you can to find happiness.