solostand Posted September 22, 2013 Posted September 22, 2013 Ive seen his actions. When I got mad at him once and refused to take his calls he left a note in my mailbox and also hunted down my cousin to make sure I was OK. He thought I was sick or something. Phoned hospital too;
KentuckyGent Posted September 22, 2013 Posted September 22, 2013 Mine was with me every step of the way thru chemotherapy. Then she found someone else to cheat with, so. . . . .
Author Tangled web Posted September 22, 2013 Author Posted September 22, 2013 Your affair started 6 years ago. He married 4 years ago, even though the relationship was 10 years old. What makes you think he gives a RATS-ARSE about you? So he slept with you and then went home to his adorable wife. How considerate. Darling, WAKE UP! MOM (I was one) leave within the 1st year if they fall in love and want to start a relationship with the MW. MOM who only want a piece of action on the side continue to act as your lovely AP has done. Six years you say? The affair could go on for a century but he won't ;eave his wife for you. In other words, NC, for him, is completely perfect until he gets the 'jitters' again and calls. Another rompy session with you and then he'll go back to his adorable family. You, my dear, will be left picking up the shattered pieces of your life and marriage alone. For your sake, end it. If he loves you, give him 2 weeks to leave his wife for you. (He'll come up with an excuse, even if the A lasts 2 decades, or might bail immediately). You misunderstand. He was married for 4 years when I met him. We were together for 6 years after that. He had been with her for 8 years before they married. Both of us took measures to separate from our spouses. I have not left my h either, yet I still loved him so it's not exactly as black and white as you make it seem. I believe we both have a very similar relationship with our spouses and we both took the same steps to distance ourselves and eventually get out of our marriages. However, with children and financial matters I guess over time an A gets too comfortable. Especially when the spouses stop expecting or even caring about anything. I agree we are both cowards. Thanks for pointing out the obvious.
Pastypop Posted September 23, 2013 Posted September 23, 2013 I have agree with KentuckyGent on this one. He hit me with NC so fast and never looked back. I've never been a trusting person but, his cruelty shown to me at the end really messed me up. I am staying in a marriage with a husband who is so abusive to our kids because I don't ever want to fall in love with someone again and have them walk out on me like he did. It has been three years and I'm still grieving, in debt and in a job that I absolutely despise. I went for a promotion and got the job because I wanted to impress him and it has been awful from the beginning. Never in my life have worked with so many *******s at one time.
Speakingofwhich Posted September 23, 2013 Posted September 23, 2013 I am staying in a marriage with a husband who is so abusive to our kids because I don't ever want to fall in love with someone again and have them walk out on me like he did. If this is what you meant to write, it's very concerning. 1
harrybrown Posted September 23, 2013 Posted September 23, 2013 Have you told your husband everything?
Author Tangled web Posted September 23, 2013 Author Posted September 23, 2013 No, I have not told my husband. Communication broke down years ago and he tends to get extremely emotional about how to work on our marriage. So much so that he just doesn't talk about it. It's partially why I gave up. He also lost his job a week after my "breakup" so the last thing I want to do is drop this on him now.
Daisy2013 Posted September 23, 2013 Posted September 23, 2013 I have no idea who hurt the most because I went no contact and have stayed no contact. I made sure all routes of contact were totally blocked and went out of my way to make sure bridges were so badly burnt the smoke could be seen 10 counties away He would have to be stupid with the size of the signals I sent out to even contemplate contacting me. This made me laugh so hard...the picture in my mind.... Good for you being so strong! I hope you are doing well. 1
jlola Posted September 23, 2013 Posted September 23, 2013 I hope I read this wrong. Did you just say your husband is abusive to your children and you choose to stay with him (where he could continue abusing the children) because you don't want someone to break your heart again? Shocked beyond belief!! I hope she did not mean to write that. If she is staying in a relationship with her husband even though he is abusive to kids, because she doesn't want HER heart broken again it is appaling. It's all about her, her wants, her feelings. Kids are your main priority. If you have to work 3-4 jobs to keep them out of harms ay,YOU DO IT!!!!! 3
bentleychic Posted September 23, 2013 Posted September 23, 2013 I think who hurts the most depends on who initiates the NC, why and how it was handled.
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