omarthedude Posted September 16, 2013 Posted September 16, 2013 So there's this girl in my college class that I fancy. I started talking to her last week (Monday) during class, where I learned that we had a lot in common and just seemed to 'click'. We had a laugh throughout the day and got along well. I got her number after she snuck up behind me while I was at the school's bookstore. On Wednesday of the same week, she texted me saying 'hey, didn't see you much today. How was your day?' She's very social by the way, with pretty much all the guys. This morning (Monday) when we had class, she got my attention and say behind me and every once in a while she'd playfully tease me about the stuff I was doing. Here's the problem: This guy came and say beside her because there weren't any seats left. At once, my spider-sense started to tingle. Next thing I know they're both talking and laughing. He started asking her about her background and family and such. I didn't say anything because I was feeling jealous and didn't want her to see me as a jealous freak. I did my stuff and left when the class was over. I will not be seeing her for the afternoon class because I have to go somewhere, but no doubt that he's gonna be all over her and get her number. What should I do? I've dated before, lots of times. But never a girl who's in the same class as me everyday. Am I gonna have to deal with this jealousy everyday? Should I just ignore and wait for her to miss me? WILL she miss me? Any of you been through this?
Philosoraptor Posted September 16, 2013 Posted September 16, 2013 If you want to date her then you need to do something about it. Either make a move or move aside. 1
Skyraider829 Posted September 16, 2013 Posted September 16, 2013 So there's this girl in my college class that I fancy. I started talking to her last week (Monday) during class, where I learned that we had a lot in common and just seemed to 'click'. We had a laugh throughout the day and got along well. I got her number after she snuck up behind me while I was at the school's bookstore. On Wednesday of the same week, she texted me saying 'hey, didn't see you much today. How was your day?' She's very social by the way, with pretty much all the guys. This morning (Monday) when we had class, she got my attention and say behind me and every once in a while she'd playfully tease me about the stuff I was doing. Here's the problem: This guy came and say beside her because there weren't any seats left. At once, my spider-sense started to tingle. Next thing I know they're both talking and laughing. He started asking her about her background and family and such. I didn't say anything because I was feeling jealous and didn't want her to see me as a jealous freak. I did my stuff and left when the class was over. I will not be seeing her for the afternoon class because I have to go somewhere, but no doubt that he's gonna be all over her and get her number. What should I do? I've dated before, lots of times. But never a girl who's in the same class as me everyday. Am I gonna have to deal with this jealousy everyday? Should I just ignore and wait for her to miss me? WILL she miss me? Any of you been through this? Will she miss you? Why would she miss you? Sorry if that sounds dry but how long have you known her for? Six months? Two years? A decade? If you've only known her for a week or an insignificant period of time, I don't think that consitutes an "I miss you!" at all. At least not in my eyes. Its your choice to be jealous. Being jealous, or scared, or angry, or sad is no obligation - you can choose to be either one of those. If you think that the only way to remedy future jealousy is to ask her for her number or Facebook, then go ahead and do it. Shoot her a friend request, or ask for her cell number. Also, its not like she immediately sealed the deal with this guy, its still an open market. So get in there and let her know that you have just as much if not greater interest in her than this other chap does. Stand out to her a little bit, be lively and talkative and humorous. I had a good chuckle when you said should you wait around for her to miss you...No, no, no...The last thing you want to do is sit around flat on your ass waiting for her to miss you, I apologize for sounding harsh but that is simply pathetic. Talking with a girl and getting acquainted is an active pursuit. You can't be passive all the time. Be first class and stand at the front of the line. I've been in this situation, there were girls in classes I liked and other guys got to them before I did. Why? Because I sat on my rear end, thinking wishfully and what did it get me? Nothing. So, don't sit around. Get it together and do something about it.
Author omarthedude Posted September 16, 2013 Author Posted September 16, 2013 Will she miss you? Why would she miss you? Sorry if that sounds dry but how long have you known her for? Six months? Two years? A decade? If you've only known her for a week or an insignificant period of time, I don't think that consitutes an "I miss you!" at all. At least not in my eyes. Its your choice to be jealous. Being jealous, or scared, or angry, or sad is no obligation - you can choose to be either one of those. If you think that the only way to remedy future jealousy is to ask her for her number or Facebook, then go ahead and do it. Shoot her a friend request, or ask for her cell number. Also, its not like she immediately sealed the deal with this guy, its still an open market. So get in there and let her know that you have just as much if not greater interest in her than this other chap does. Stand out to her a little bit, be lively and talkative and humorous. I had a good chuckle when you said should you wait around for her to miss you...No, no, no...The last thing you want to do is sit around flat on your ass waiting for her to miss you, I apologize for sounding harsh but that is simply pathetic. Talking with a girl and getting acquainted is an active pursuit. You can't be passive all the time. Be first class and stand at the front of the line. I've been in this situation, there were girls in classes I liked and other guys got to them before I did. Why? Because I sat on my rear end, thinking wishfully and what did it get me? Nothing. So, don't sit around. Get it together and do something about it. I know exactly what you mean. It's just that I've never been in this situation before. I've always chosen to date girls OUTSIDE my school. Anyhow, I get it. Next time I see her, I'm gonna walk out of class with a date. But one more thing, there's always this part of me that goes back to the other guy...what if he's gone farther with her and gained more value in her eyes than me? How do I get it back?
RogerWallace111 Posted September 16, 2013 Posted September 16, 2013 Well you get to know her, let her get to know you, and show her your best side. If you appeal to her more than the other guy she will choose to see you over him, and that's that. If you want to get manipulative or play mind games to sink your teeth in, that's a different story. If not, just show her the optimal you and let the rest work itself out.
Skyraider829 Posted September 16, 2013 Posted September 16, 2013 Anyhow, I get it. Next time I see her, I'm gonna walk out of class with a date. But one more thing, there's always this part of me that goes back to the other guy...what if he's gone farther with her and gained more value in her eyes than me? How do I get it back? You can't undo the past. Maybe he has, or maybe he hasn't. Does it do any good to sit around and wonder about that? I wouldn't think so. There is a BIG difference between thinking something and knowing something. You have no clue as to whether he has or hasn't. Don't even bother thinking about it. Chat her up, be politely confident and see if she'd like to talk over the phone or even go grab a coffee or tea sometime.
devilish innocent Posted September 17, 2013 Posted September 17, 2013 If she's as friendly as you say, there's probably plenty of other guys that she has conversations with. This is just the one you saw. If you want to try to pursue something with her, you're going to have to try to ignore these other guys. If they're only talking, it shouldn't matter. You just need to focus on seeing if you can get things to the next level by getting a date with her yourself. Should you succeed, then you'll be a step beyond talking anyway. And if she's not interested in dating you, then you have to accept that she is just a friend or not accept her in your life at all.
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