KentuckyGent Posted September 16, 2013 Posted September 16, 2013 I know that many think MM are but what say you about MW as being "serial cheaters"? I'm pretty sure mine was (her protestations to the contrary). In fact, I'm pretty sure my A ended because I got "traded in" for a new OM. Are women just as likely or is it mostly a man thing? Too many things didn't add up for me.
bentleychic Posted September 16, 2013 Posted September 16, 2013 I've been doing research on A's lately and from what I've found, women are just as likely these days to go down that path as men. I'm NOT saying that's for sure what your xMW did, though.
jlola Posted September 16, 2013 Posted September 16, 2013 I know that many think MM are but what say you about MW as being "serial cheaters"? I'm pretty sure mine was (her protestations to the contrary). In fact, I'm pretty sure my A ended because I got "traded in" for a new OM. Are women just as likely or is it mostly a man thing? Too many things didn't add up for me.appens. My sister is a serial cheater. A friend of mine was dating a M(he had previously dated her years before she married) fell in love with her during the 2 year affair. They broke up but remained friends since she said she would never leave her husband because of the kids and the fact he as a very good provider. He ended up finding out she was dating a MM and they even went to Hawaii on vacation. New MM gave her a 2 year timeline to leave marriage. New MM never knew abut previous affair. Another friend found out MW's now BS was married when they met. They had an affair. It seems she loves the challenge. He was dating someone when he met MW and promptly left Gf for MW. They had an affair for years. She never left because she wanted to promptly move into OM's house instead of leaving husband and living alone for awhile. OM later found out through a mutual friend she had been seeing best friend's husband at the tail end of their relationship. Best friend and husband divorced. She has somehow managed to get her husband to believe her side, He stays. Also now they have 2 kids. I think her BS feels guilty that he left his first wife for this cheating wife and cannot face his family with another divorce. Funny thing is the women in this situation looks like "Mary Poppins". just sweet and the type men love to rescue. I think this type is the worst. "Rescuing the damsel in distress" is one of the top 10 "Stupid things men do to ruin their lives" according to doctor Laura. Wolf in Sheep's clothing.
Quiet Storm Posted September 16, 2013 Posted September 16, 2013 Yes. Most of the time, the affair is about meeting her needs for attention and validation. Because of this, the men can be interchangeable. It's not about the particular man, his personality or their "connection". It's about meeting her needs. The problem is that over time, the affair partner begins to see the real person. They notice the negative character traits. The affair partner begins to hold WS accountable. The affair partner begins to question WS. The affair partner begins to doubt WS. This doubt causes OM/OW to decrease the frequency of compliments & admiration. Respect is lost & trust is replaced with doubt & suspicion. WS can no longer get those needs for validation & attention met by the OM/OW. This has probably repeated itself multiple times over her lifetime in all of her romantic relationships, including the marriage. The husband wasn't able to meet her needs for validation because her expectations are not realistic. It is unrealistic to expect endless ego strokes from a partner, but this is what cheaters do. They want lots of love & acceptance, with no accountability or responsibility. This is easy to do in a new romance, because we don't really know the person yet. In the beginning, we judge them on the image that they wish to portray. Over time, their character traits are revealed. Once the well runs dry, they find a new source. 2
carhill Posted September 16, 2013 Posted September 16, 2013 IME, mixed bag. One MW was a concurrent cheater, having a PA with one man and an EA with myself. Others have admitted to multiple affairs over time, so I guess that would be serial, although I don't believe they happened one right after the other, which IMO is what serial implies. Compared to those who 'did it' once and changed their ways after, the serial/concurrent group, IME, was quite small. Generally, amongst that group, there was trauma in their history, ranging from abuse to molestation to rape, generally as children or teenagers. Superficially, it's quite easy for a MW to move from one potential lover to another, simply because of how the dynamics of gender relations work. Essentially, all she has to do is put 'yes' out there and the subset of males, both single and married, who don't care about relationship status, or do but she deceives them as to hers, descend. For some, they don't even have to say or do anything, merely appear 'available'. Men can smell it, like blood in the water to sharks. Pretty interesting to observe.
underwater2010 Posted September 16, 2013 Posted September 16, 2013 My FWH's MOW was/is a serial cheater and professional groomer. There are five affairs that are known. My FWH was a speck compared to the others. So the answer is that any cheater...male or female...can be a serial cheater.
Author KentuckyGent Posted September 16, 2013 Author Posted September 16, 2013 Because of this, the men can be interchangeable. It's not about the particular man, his personality or their "connection". It's about meeting her needs. Once the well runs dry, they find a new source. I suppose I didn't realize this until I was too far in. Kind of sucks knowing you didn't really matter all that much; that it could have been anyone.
Calcmag Posted September 16, 2013 Posted September 16, 2013 I could have been a serial cheater. I divorced, but if I had kids I would have stayed married and continued to cheat. Until there was a D day.
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