Goodbye Posted September 16, 2013 Posted September 16, 2013 I have been doing (mostly) well in NC since the spring. Exmm has messed it up with a few contacts continuing on with the same promises. Each time he has done so, I've been able to see the situation a little more clearly...that he is a spineless wimp. Tomorrow will mark 27 years to the day since I met him. Over the years I've thought of him at this time. I have been forcing myself to stay busy and not dwell. I have not come close to breaking NC. The *^&( has invaded my dreams. For the past 3 nights I've had vivid dreams, some good, some bad...all starring the exMM. It leaves me feeling confused in the morning and shoves him to the front of my mind again. I know this will pass, but not quickly enough. Anyone else dealing with this?
KentuckyGent Posted September 16, 2013 Posted September 16, 2013 We're in the same boat. The least little thing can bring ex-MW to the forefront. It doesn't take much. A song. A car that looks like hers. A smell. 8 months and this is still torture. 1
legalgirl Posted September 16, 2013 Posted September 16, 2013 I hate the dreams. I experience them too. I think my fear is never being good enough for a real relationship, not one where i am the 2nd best, but a real, loving, give me 100% relationship. 2
Author Goodbye Posted September 16, 2013 Author Posted September 16, 2013 I hate the dreams. I experience them too. I think my fear is never being good enough for a real relationship, not one where i am the 2nd best, but a real, loving, give me 100% relationship. Yes Legal. I don't know what happened to my esteem. ExMM was my first and only relationship since my divorce and I really got sucked in. I can't see beyond it and I feel like damaged goods, unworthy of anything better. Ugh. And yes, I'm in therapy, lol.
Author Goodbye Posted September 16, 2013 Author Posted September 16, 2013 Yes, you can't really force him/her out of your head while asleep. My dreams have been messed up too. Last night I had a dream he was living with my exH's mother and chiding me for getting a B on an exam.
yellowmaverick Posted September 16, 2013 Posted September 16, 2013 Goodbye - when I was having nightmares about my H's affair, I took Zzzquil to help me sleep. It is nonaddictive and does not make you groggy in the morning. No more waking up from nightmares!
Author Goodbye Posted September 16, 2013 Author Posted September 16, 2013 The dreams are the worst. Goodbye - when I was having nightmares about my H's affair, I took Zzzquil to help me sleep. It is nonaddictive and does not make you groggy in the morning. No more waking up from nightmares! Did it make you wired at all? I've found antihistamines make me wired.
tryingto Posted September 17, 2013 Posted September 17, 2013 Goodbye, I too am having more thoughts of my exMM recently (even after almost 10 months since ending our A). Our meeting date from almost four years ago is also near, as well as it will soon be a year since I last saw him. I try to push him out of my head when thoughts pop in but right now it's hard. All we can do is keep on, keeping on... I don't have any other words of wisdom other than those. I mainly wanted to post to share you aren't alone in your feelings and remind us both that we deserve more than what they had to offer!!! (((Goodbye)))
lilmisscantbewrong Posted September 17, 2013 Posted September 17, 2013 Your subconscious is trying to work things out while you sleep. There is a message there for you - you just have to look objectively at what it is. I have major trigger dates around this time of the year and it has been almost four years since the final dday. It's not as bad, but inevitably something will remind me. I hope you can work through this - it is truly one of the hardest things I have ever been through.
yellowmaverick Posted September 17, 2013 Posted September 17, 2013 Did it make you wired at all? I've found antihistamines make me wired. I don't think that it is an antihistamine. It is marketed as a sleep aid only - not like Nyquil. It relaxes me enough to put me to sleep and helps me stay asleep.
Author Goodbye Posted September 17, 2013 Author Posted September 17, 2013 I will try it. Again last night the exMM was on my mind. He needs to go away. 1
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