DuttonC Posted September 16, 2013 Posted September 16, 2013 I have a child with a bloke I was with for 3 years, we have now been separated for 3 years and our son is now 3. He's recently come out of prison and he's a complete different bloke. My family hates him and all I want is to be with him. Hes done his fair share of being a horrible person but people can change right? My mum has guardianship of my son, does this mean she can take him away from me if I go back to my ex?
coolheadal Posted September 16, 2013 Posted September 16, 2013 I have a child with a bloke I was with for 3 years, we have now been separated for 3 years and our son is now 3. He's recently come out of prison and he's a complete different bloke. My family hates him and all I want is to be with him. Hes done his fair share of being a horrible person but people can change right? My mum has guardianship of my son, does this mean she can take him away from me if I go back to my ex? Did the courts grant your mun the rights over your son from you? Sounds like they did. You would have to take it to court and get your son back from your mun. The bloke whose out did he find a job yet? He and you need to be working to show the court system that you working and can provide for the child. You'll also need a flat too. For 1 year he and you along with the flat must have all this in writing so you can show the courts there that you can provide for your son and the bloke you love can provide for you both. Plus your also showing them that you can also work and take care of them along with yourself.
acrosstheuniverse Posted September 16, 2013 Posted September 16, 2013 I have a child with a bloke I was with for 3 years, we have now been separated for 3 years and our son is now 3. He's recently come out of prison and he's a complete different bloke. My family hates him and all I want is to be with him. Hes done his fair share of being a horrible person but people can change right? My mum has guardianship of my son, does this mean she can take him away from me if I go back to my ex? People can change. I've worked within the criminal justice system and seen plenty of guys change after prison; unfortunately, I've seen plenty more that don't. It's more often not as much about the specific crime they committed as the fact that once they're out, they may still be surrounded by the same circumstances, social circle etc. that contributed towards their offending in the first place. What was his conviction? Something nonviolent like fraud or embezzlement is often easier to move on from than something related to assaults or drug use. Is it is first sentence? How long did he get? People can change, and making a bad decision once doesn't destine somebody to make that same bad decision over and over again for the rest of their lives. But I would caution things need to be taken really, REALLY slowly. He needs to be living on his own first, proving he can maintain a tenancy, proving he can stay away from drugs and misusing alcohol, proving that he can work hard to change his path and provide for his family. Only once he has been doing this for a significant period of time should you consider having him as a partner again, date as though you would prior to your son being born but DEFINITELY don't move in together. He should maintain contact with his son if the courts haven't prohibited it, having a criminal record is no reason for a child to miss out on the love and input of their parents. If your guy wants you to be a family again, he'll work his ass off for as long as it takes to prove that he has changed and won't make these mistakes again. Good luck and bear in mind that vast sections of society will stigmatize your partner for the rest of his life whatever he does from here on in. That's just something you'll need to acknowledge and do your best to prove wrong.
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