Celsus Posted September 16, 2013 Posted September 16, 2013 My girlfriend and I dated for 2 and a half years when she suddenly via IM decided 'we' need a break. A few days before she got very quiet and I asked her about. She said that everything was fine, but I knew it wasn't so I pressed the issue. That's when she IM'ed those words. "We need a break". Naturally my brain went into panic mode. For 2 weeks afterwards I begged and pleaded with no results. She finally said that we are completely over until I can sort my life out. Apparently according to her I've been depressed and wasn't going anywhere with my life. Yes, this is true, but we live in a third world country and opportunities are not so easily available. I have a bad job and pay little money. So yes, my life is in a bad place at the moment, but shouldn't she rather have given me support? Anyway. I stopped contacting her for a few weeks, till I couldn't take it anymore and showed up at her house to express my feelings. Afterwards she contacted me everyday for a week, then suddenly stopped again. I started contacting her and we arranged a small outing together. Naturally it was very different than how it used to be, but afterwards we hugged and she even kissed me like she used to. I suggested we stay in contact, but that she should contact me so she can have her space. We are almost at the 4 month mark of being separated and she has been contacting me once or twice a week. She went away to a different province to stay with a friend for 10 days. This weekend I decided to go away with some friends as well. On Saturday we chatted over IM and things got more serious. We spoke about the two of us and the changes we both made. It was very positive and there was even some discussion about the possibility of trying again. Yesterday she came home and so did I, but she got all cold again. I contacted her to ask if she got home safely and she responded politely, but in a way that made me think she didn't want to speak with me. The conversation ended abruptly and I haven't heard from her since. What is going on? She still contacts me. She sometimes sends me photos that 'makes her think of me' or about our past. Yet as soon as she warms up to the idea of trying again, she suddenly does cold. I'm sorry this is so long, but any insight and advice would be grateful. I am not a young man anymore and have dealt with break ups before, but those were always final. This is the woman I want to spend my life with and I don't want to lose her.
truth_seeker Posted September 16, 2013 Posted September 16, 2013 She wants to move on but is holding onto you in case other options fail. 1
Author Celsus Posted September 16, 2013 Author Posted September 16, 2013 I am 30, she is 26. I appreciate the viewpoint, but she is not waiting for other options. She is currently stressed and have a lot of test, modules and exams to do for her last few months of the course she is doing. She has freaked out before during exam time, but never to this extent. I know for a fact that there are no other men involved, neither is she looking. I told her that the friendship thing is not going to work for me and to tell me if she decided not to give us another chance so we can break all contact for good. She is not leading me on or 'playing me'. If she was 100% certain she would have broken all contact.
truth_seeker Posted September 16, 2013 Posted September 16, 2013 What you're saying is not adding up to the initial posting. I gave an opinion based on the story you told. If you're so sure she's not leading you on or playing you, then why create this thread?
Author Celsus Posted September 16, 2013 Author Posted September 16, 2013 Because she is still sending mixed signals. She is unsure of what she wants, what I would like to know is, what are the chances she will give it another go? In my experience when a woman struggles making up her mind she panics and rather let something go than face it head on and work through it. Everyone is different of course. A person does not have to have sinister motives to send mixed signals. She is confused and it is the confusion that worries me. The not knowing what to expect and when to expect it.
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