OLD experiment..woman do go on looks!

[Babolat]

This is more of a fun post, so don't throw rocks, flames or spears at me.

 

I created an OLD profile about 3 weeks ago. RedRobin kind of got me thinking about it.

 

I was not "ready" to really do anything so I did not post any pics. I was curious about poking around more than anything else. I did not get any messages, a few "visitors", no hits, over a 3 week period.

 

This weekend I put up 8 photos; yeah, the best I could find, my "looks like a great fun active guy" ones.

 

I checked my account last night for the first time since. I had 50+ visitors and 10+ messages in 2 days! The best message was "You are so refreshing on here compared to the other bastards!". 2 of them left me their phone #'s, not even a "Hello!". One woman sent me a new message two times, obvious troller. One was from a woman I met 2 years ago when I did OLD; she had no clue it was me.

 

Anyway, I was actualy surprised to see that just adding photos increased my "hits" given the amount of time on h ere I hear that woman do not care abut looks.

 

Yes, I know woman care about looks and get the value they place on looks compared to men. So I am being a bit facetious with this post.

[Philosoraptor]

Um, I think most people feel more comfortable messaging someone they can attribute a face to. Also, when browsing it only shows a picture and name. So that default picture probably doesn't get too many clicks.

 

But looks are the first thing we notice as humans, both in real life and online. You don't approach someone you're not attracted to and you don't click on a profile unless you find that person attractive.

[mammasita]

Hrm, I never ever say that looks don't matter.

 

I always say looks are subjective, but yes - they absolutely matter. Especially with OLD - A profile without a picture is questionable at best, like serial killer status.

[Babolat]

When I did OLD 2 years ago, I would not message a woman without pics.

 

One messaged me, quite a bit and promised me I would be attracted to her. I was hesitant and did not reply much. She texted me one night like around 6PM and said "meet me for dinner, I will pay, you will not be disappointed" so I went for it.

 

She was gorgeous, great body, great personality, and we ended up going out 3-4 more times.

 

She owned her own company at the time and said for professional reasons she did not want to post pics.

[mammasita]

When I did OLD 2 years ago, I would not message a woman without pics.

 

One messaged me, quite a bit and promised me I would be attracted to her. I was hesitant and did not reply much. She texted me one night like around 6PM and said "meet me for dinner, I will pay, you will not be disappointed" so I went for it.

 

She was gorgeous, great body, great personality, and we ended up going out 3-4 more times.

 

She owned her own company at the time and said for professional reasons she did not want to post pics.

If I were a man, I'd probably be more willing to do something like that.

 

I'm gonna have to say that I still think its shady though LOL

[pteromom]

As mammacita said, looks matter, but they are subjective. Of course you have to be attracted to someone in order to want to date them. But what I find good looking and what another woman may find good looking aren't necessarily the same thing.

[CptSaveAho]

no offense but to answer your thread title....

 

Duh!

 

Its been proven over and over and over and over again and is kind of common sense and something a 47 year old should know.

 

I wonder if this is some simple ploy to lie to yourself and other as to the real reason you signed up for OLD... can't be alone.... hmmmm.... birds of a feather.... flock together

[HappyLove]

I thought you were gonna say you put up a ugly pic and had 2 different accounts. I won't even click on a profile with no pic, it's 2013 get with it. And I'm SURE the ones with no pic aren't looking for others with no pic either. And heck yea looks matter. They don't always matter though for example he's very confident, funny, or rich as heck! Yea don't pretend there aren't rich guys who look like a turd with a hot girl.

[Babolat]

no offense but to answer your thread title....

 

Duh!

 

Its been proven over and over and over and over again and is kind of common sense and something a 47 year old should know.

 

I wonder if this is some simple ploy to lie to yourself and other as to the real reason you signed up for OLD... can't be alone.... hmmmm.... birds of a feather.... flock together

 

Of course it's common sense, read my first sentence my friend, this is not a serious post.

 

And you continue to come at me with this can't be alone, birds of a feather stuff. I get your points, should say I got your points the many times you have posted them.

 

I love to be alone and have been for 6+ months. I am verry happy with where I am, making a lot of progress with ME and I have no desire to date anyone right now, and I am self-aware enough to know that. I did the OLD to satisfy a curiosity, and I did.

 

I appreciate your comments here, but geez man. And really, I want to lie to folks on LS? Like I really care what you and others on LS think of me? I have fun here and I like to learn and offer help when/where I can, that's really about it.

Edited September 16, 2013 by Babolat

[SincereOnlineGuy]

This is more of a fun post, so don't throw rocks, flames or spears at me.

 

I created an OLD profile about 3 weeks ago. RedRobin kind of got me thinking about it.

 

I was not "ready" to really do anything so I did not post any pics. I was curious about poking around more than anything else. I did not get any messages, a few "visitors", no hits, over a 3 week period.

 

This weekend I put up 8 photos; yeah, the best I could find, my "looks like a great fun active guy" ones.

 

I checked my account last night for the first time since. I had 50+ visitors and 10+ messages in 2 days! The best message was "You are so refreshing on here compared to the other bastards!". 2 of them left me their phone #'s, not even a "Hello!". One woman sent me a new message two times, obvious troller. One was from a woman I met 2 years ago when I did OLD; she had no clue it was me.

 

Anyway, I was actualy surprised to see that just adding photos increased my "hits" given the amount of time on h ere I hear that woman do not care abut looks.

 

Yes, I know woman care about looks and get the value they place on looks compared to men. So I am being a bit facetious with this post.

 

 

 

This so-called 'experiment' wasn't done properly, and thus the conclusions you drew were insignificant. Your "experiment" was something not far from concluding that "men like big boobs" after studying 1000 female photos on hotornot dot com, when the reality there is that the average woman who shows what she's got (WHATEVER it is) on hotornot dot com scores higher marks than does the average woman who merely shows a face-only photo.

 

 

*** The most likely candidates for showing what they've got at hotornot just happen to be the women with larger chests, who also happen to comprise those most confident about their figures.

 

 

 

Thus you don't know whether it was your immense beauty which won the women over, or whether it was your mere will for suggesting that you were {more comfortable with yourself than seem those who don't include pictures}.

Edited September 16, 2013 by SincereOnlineGuy

[Babolat]

This so-called 'experiment' wasn't done properly, and thus the conclusions you drew were insignificant. Your "experiment" was something not far from concluding that "men like big boobs" after studying 1000 female photos on hotornot dot com, when the reality there is that the average woman who shows what she's got (WHATEVER it is) on hotornot dot com scores higher marks than does the average woman who merely shows a face-only photo.

 

 

*** The most likely candidates for showing what they've got at hotornot just happen to be the women with larger chests, who also happen to comprise those most confident about their figures.

 

 

 

Thus you don't know whether it was your immense beauty which won the women over, or whether it was your mere will for suggesting that you were {more comfortable with yourself than seem those who don't include pictures}.

 

Hmmm..I love statistics, research and studies, and like you alwasy try to figure out if it was done correctly, so I am trying to figure your comments out, but struggling a bit. Are you suggesting that by posting pics of myslef I delivered a message that I am comfortable with myself, emotionally and physically?

 

I am not sure I agree with your comment about woman who are confident with their figures. Having done OLD 2 years ago, dated a woman from OLD for 12 months who had a lot of "fun" pics of herself that emphasized her large breasts (which admittedly got my attention) I buy that as she had self esteem and confidence issues. I notice now as I look at pics/profiles, if I see too many cleavage/bikini/skin pics, I move to the next one. Nice to look at, but I have been there before, don't want to go there again.

 

And I actually struggle with this now should I decide to try OLD again. I saw one last night who had an amazing profile, and we were a 95% match, yet all, and I mean all, of her photos were either bikini, tight dress, workout clothes, low cut shirts/dresses, all showing her large breasts and amazing body.

[SincereOnlineGuy]

Hmmm..I love statistics, research and studies, and like you alwasy try to figure out if it was done correctly, so I am trying to figure your comments out, but struggling a bit. Are you suggesting that by posting pics of myslef I delivered a message that I am comfortable with myself, emotionally and physically?

 

I am not sure I agree with your comment about woman who are confident with their figures. Having done OLD 2 years ago, dated a woman from OLD for 12 months who had a lot of "fun" pics of herself that emphasized her large breasts (which admittedly got my attention) I buy that as she had self esteem and confidence issues. I notice now as I look at pics/profiles, if I see too many cleavage/bikini/skin pics, I move to the next one. Nice to look at, but I have been there before, don't want to go there again.

 

And I actually struggle with this now should I decide to try OLD again. I saw one last night who had an amazing profile, and we were a 95% match, yet all, and I mean all, of her photos were either bikini, tight dress, workout clothes, low cut shirts/dresses, all showing her large breasts and amazing body.

 

 

Hey, I love the tone of your engaging contemplation here (and I'm a straight guy, {so now I'm laughing} )

 

 

First: YES, I am suggesting that via your posted pictures, you suggested to everybody (but for the four Loveshackers who are going to post and say they didn't feel it from you) that you are more comfortable/confident about yourself than are the vast numbers of people who don't post pictures.

 

Additionally, the posting of pictures lets them draw a card from the vast realm of possibilities, and narrow (you) down to one appearance. (think of a young girl, aged 7, imagining growing up to marry a doctor, a lawyer, a police officer, a milkman, or a prince in a castle, and then narrowing that down to one candidate some day).

 

So suddenly you become an individual and more than merely an ideal to be culled from the vast realm of OLD. Now human psychology would impact each, and to SOME, your looks would be at their level, to SOME, your looks would perhaps be a (relative) drawback (yet still worth investigating), and to SOME, you seem out of their league in a flattering way.

 

 

I agree totally that the example you cite of women (often with ample bosom) going overboard (as if to reel you in with boobs!) is a sign that you're gonna find self-confidence issues.

 

However, how do you feel when you see the photo of a small-breasted woman who doesn't seem to feel self-conscious about her figure??

 

(meant in the OLD or hotornot dot com context)

[Babolat]

However, how do you feel when you see the photo of a small-breasted woman who doesn't seem to feel self-conscious about her figure??

 

(meant in the OLD or hotornot dot com context)

 

If I like her profile, and her overall look, I am interested. Like most have said here, there has to be an attraction, for me, but there is so much more to it than that. A sexy, beautiful woman with nice breasts who has a horribly written profile, or lots of negative suff in her profile, next. Or, if we just are not a match from reading her profile, next. I will look at the eye candy while on her profile for a minute or two though!

 

Somewhat unrelated, I spent some time this weekend with a good female friend. She is petite, has nice natural breasts (from what I have seen), bigger than most for a petite girl, but not huge either...appropriate for her body size. Lets just say she has great natural cleavage!

 

She said to me "sometimes it's nice to have boobs" in the context of getting help from a man at the event we went to. As in, if she were a guy or a flat chested woman she may not have gotten any help. The man was working a booth, he was very busy, and, when she walked up with a question, not only did he stop, he asked her to bring her item over and fixed it for her for free! Ironically she had a shirt on that was not showing cleavage, but her breast size was obvious.

 

She then went on to say "you guys don't realize what a pain they can be sometimes too!"

[CryForNoOne]

You did the experiment wrong. Create one profile with your good pics and say little in your profile. Create a second profile with your bad pics and write a complete profile. Seeing the variance in responses to those two profiles would be interesting!

[mammasita]

I love Jerry Springer.

[CptSaveAho]

This is unnecessarily mean.

 

If you're so great why do you waste your oh-so-awesome precious time posting on LS like the rest of us losers?

 

So in other words you are confirming what he said is true.

 

Everyone on this forum knows what OLD is and how bad it is. Look at the title of this post, pure self validation because he knows its crap yet doesnt want, cant look at himself in the mirror and accept an apple is an apple

 

Now people like skidmark and myself and others do come and see a bunch of what looks like spoiled/bad fruit. Pick it up, wash it off, leave it in the sun to dry and you know sometimes something that looked bad, actually cleans up nicely, gets it, and doesnt hang out with the bad apples anymore. The others just jump right back in the bad apple group because they are afraid to grow up, change, try something new.

 

Look how long people have been on this forum and continue to do the SAME thing over and over and over and over and over and DONT get it and are afraid to try something else. Miserable, abandonment issue people, dating miserable abandonment issue people

[AD1980]

The women dont care about looks cliche was always hilllarious to me

[carhill]

IME, they don't care about looks beyond what they find attractive. If a particular man is outlier to the general parameters of attractiveness to women, then his dating pool will be necessarily far smaller. Combined with general demographics (relative wealth of the area, ratio of men to women, cultural/sociological/religious influences, etc), this threshold of attractiveness can be a moving target. Simply changing location can have a marked affect on potential dating pool. I experimented with this in my 30's and found the results remarkable. Same guy, same looks, same blue collar job, same demeanor but markedly different responses based upon demographics of a location.

 

OP, I think, for a better, and more fun comparison, try doing two profiles, neither with your own pictures, rather some representative examples of the range of appearance, in unsearchable images (not image-searchable). Use similar profile styles and general descriptive features and leave the images as the variable. Enjoy the results, both from contacts from women and from their responses to your contacts.

 

Back in the day when one of my LTR's started from contacting a lady who had no pictures, simply because back then pictures were a luxury, it was quite common to view profiles with no pictures. Today, it's relatively rare, for most people anyway, hence your comparison is IMO apples and oranges. Back in the day I could afford a then expensive digital camera and scanner for print photographs, so my relatively mediocre looks were augmented by the miracle of an image flying around the globe on electrons. It was unique. Unique was interesting. That helped. Have fun. Don't take it seriously.

[Babolat]

Look at the title of this post, pure self validation because he knows its crap yet doesnt want, cant look at himself in the mirror and accept an apple is an apple

 

Wow, and to think about all the money I wasted on therapy/conseling; all I had to do was come to LS and find you.

 

Dude, I appreciate your feedback, but this was a fun post, read the first line my friend. This is not about self validation. Like Drseussgrl, after setting up the profile and poking around for a few weeks I have no interest in OLD right now.

 

Unless I am misreading your comments, I have no idea where you are coming from and what your intent is other than to tell us all how healthy you are. Which, honestly, I don't really care.

[Babolat]

Back in the day when one of my LTR's started from contacting a lady who had no pictures, simply because back then pictures were a luxury, it was quite common to view profiles with no pictures. Today, it's relatively rare, for most people anyway, hence your comparison is IMO apples and oranges. Back in the day I could afford a then expensive digital camera and scanner for print photographs, so my relatively mediocre looks were augmented by the miracle of an image flying around the globe on electrons. It was unique. Unique was interesting. That helped. Have fun. Don't take it seriously.

 

Reminds me of when personal ads got started, in the newspaper. I tried that back then, zero success, though I met some nice woman to do things with.

[Babolat]

The others just jump right back in the bad apple group because they are afraid to grow up, change, try something new.

 

Look how long people have been on this forum and continue to do the SAME thing over and over and over and over and over and DONT get it and are afraid to try something else. Miserable, abandonment issue people, dating miserable abandonment issue people

 

This is creul my friend. Folks come to LS seeking opinions, guidance, help. You chose to mock them, make fun of them for doing so and for falling back into old habits and patterns? Some of this is deep rooted and takes a while to work out.

 

I for one am incredibly thankful for LS and my posts, and the feedback I have gotten. It's taking a lot of repetition at times, beating a dead horse if you will, though I am growing, I am learning, I am making better decsions. And it's those 4-5 folks on here who truly cared, having never even met me, that helped me make some changes.

 

If you don't like it here, why don't you go play in the "health relationship" sandbox; lost of folks are there looking for feedback.

 

Sorry man, not too much bugs me; your post did.

[PJKino]

I have never said looks don't matter to women. What Ive been saying for awhile is looks matter LESS to women and if a man has other good qualities besides looks, they can MAKE UP for looks. Not true with men. If you're an ugly woman, have the most wonderful personality and disposition and having extra money will NOT make a guy fall for you. The reverse happens way more often for ugly men however. If a girl isn't attracted to you right away, theres a much better chance of her gradually starting to like you if you have other great qualities than if a man isn't attracted to a woman right away.

 

By the way, theres a lot of empirical research that shows visual attraction is much higher on the dating priority list of men than women...science doesn't lie

 

Most average and unattractive people end up in relationships together that shows me both gennders are as shallow as they can afford to be..

 

If most ugly or average women were single while ugly men were with good looking women then maybe youd have a poitn but thats not the case..

 

Most women i see holding hands or pushing strollers are not lookers yet they somehow found somebody as shallow as you claim men are..

[Better]

Unfortunately, most were bridge trolls.

 

I had to reply just to say that your message made me laugh

[waiting4u]

I pretty much go on looks, but other issues do matter. A guy who is average-looking with a great personality or sense of humor (tonight's date for me ) is almost better than a really hot guy imo. Really really attractive people are intimidating. That said - NOBODY looks like their pictures. From my last OLD experience, this was pretty much always the case. It's a gamble.

 

As far as you posting a picture and getting more responses - like most have said, that's just the creep factor. People think there's a reason you don't have a picture - like you are misrepresenting yourself or are married. My friend went out with a woman who didn't post a picture and she looked fabulous, but was totally cheating on her husband.

[Imajerk17]

I actually don't think it was about "looks" per se Babolat, but instead that you looked like you were having fun/you are social/you are a COOL NORMAL person who actually has friends. Rare and refreshing in the OLD world, especially for a guy in his 40s.

 

Good show!

Edited September 17, 2013 by Imajerk17