Women giving it up soooooo easy!

[HappyLove]

One of the most common problems seen here is women giving away the goods way too easy. They say things like, We spent all day together on our first date, it was magic, we slept together, why haven't I heard from him? We've been dating 2 weeks, he's the one, we slept together on our second date, he hasn't called, what happened?

 

Hey I've been there a guy promises you the world. You think I've finally met the love of my life, he gets me, he wants the same things I want. Then he goes POOF! Stop giving away the goods so quickly if your looking for something long term or substantial. There are few women who can handle a hit it and quit it relationship because that's all she wants too. But not many woman can truly give themselves like that and not get hurt when the guy disappears.

 

Women need to give a guy a chance to prove that all the BS he's feeding you is real. If he's SO GREAT and perfect he's not gonna up and disappear. It's sad the amount of grown women sleeping with strangers and then wondering why the guy is nowhere to be found. How about you let this man show that he's a man of integrity first then you won't be as hurt in the end when he goes POOF!

[Atem]

One of the most common problems seen here is women giving away the goods way too easy. They say things like, We spent all day together on our first date, it was magic, we slept together, why haven't I heard from him? We've been dating 2 weeks, he's the one, we slept together on our second date, he hasn't called, what happened?

 

Hey I've been there a guy promises you the world. You think I've finally met the love of my life, he gets me, he wants the same things I want. Then he goes POOF! Stop giving away the goods so quickly if your looking for something long term or substantial. There are few women who can handle a hit it and quit it relationship because that's all she wants too. But not many woman can truly give themselves like that and not get hurt when the guy disappears.

 

Women need to give a guy a chance to prove that all the BS he's feeding you is real. If he's SO GREAT and perfect he's not gonna up and disappear. It's sad the amount of grown women sleeping with strangers and then wondering why the guy is nowhere to be found. How about you let this man show that he's a man of integrity first then you won't be as hurt in the end when he goes POOF!

 

While I agree with your point, the same goes for women as well, milady.

 

Case in point - I was seeing this gal for 2 weeks in June. We had 3 good dates and then she had to travel abroad and disappeared.

 

Well, no spilled milk, I thought and dated/lived on.

 

2 1/2 months later she pings me out of the blue. We get together. We ****. She disappears again (well, I kinda did too since I didn't call her after we had sex).

 

So, this "let's ****" mentality is definitely NOT an all guy thing. In my particular case, I could spot from 10,000 miles away that she just wanted a **** when she messaged me again. And - given that I'm single and that she's hot - I said why the **** not (no pun intended). Had her come to my place, do all the work and had some fun.

 

IF you're looking for a BF then do 2 things:

a. make yourself chrystal clear up-front

b. take things SLOWLY - do NOT put out on week 2 or after date 2 and expect a relationship - take it easy/slow

 

End of story.

[sickpuppy]

One of the most common problems seen here is women giving away the goods way too easy. They say things like, We spent all day together on our first date, it was magic, we slept together, why haven't I heard from him? We've been dating 2 weeks, he's the one, we slept together on our second date, he hasn't called, what happened?

 

Hey I've been there a guy promises you the world. You think I've finally met the love of my life, he gets me, he wants the same things I want. Then he goes POOF! Stop giving away the goods so quickly if your looking for something long term or substantial. There are few women who can handle a hit it and quit it relationship because that's all she wants too. But not many woman can truly give themselves like that and not get hurt when the guy disappears.

 

Women need to give a guy a chance to prove that all the BS he's feeding you is real. If he's SO GREAT and perfect he's not gonna up and disappear. It's sad the amount of grown women sleeping with strangers and then wondering why the guy is nowhere to be found. How about you let this man show that he's a man of integrity first then you won't be as hurt in the end when he goes POOF!

 

The saying is that women use sex to get a relationship, men use realtionships to get sex.

 

IMO more people would simply rather have flings as they are too lazy to actually put in the work towards a possible real relationship as they automatically think if they do try and it doesn't work they invested and they "lost" out in the end. So more women will give it up to "hook" a man. Sometimes it will work as a quick fix rather than putting in work for both parties but most times the guy gets some and then either takes off depending on what he thinks of her as a person as he's looking for an upgrade etc.

 

If you take a woman who's given it up or a man senses she's given it up to other men easily but wants to make him "wait" almost punshing him sometimes a man who feels thats a game for her as a "prize" thinks to himself..."Wait..This girl has given it up to others easily or quick but I have to wait as if she's some special catch? F'that. I'm out. or he plays along till he gets it from her and silently resents the fact she made him wait and uses her then taking off to someone else leaving her wonder what she did wrong.

 

"Relationships" are pretty screwed up these days. It's like you want to have someone and hope it works out between the two of you but at the same time with so much dynamics, games or whatever you almost get to the point of saying F'it and staying on your own. lol

[sickpuppy]

While I agree with your point, the same goes for women as well, milady.

 

Case in point - I was seeing this gal for 2 weeks in June. We had 3 good dates and then she had to travel abroad and disappeared.

 

Well, no spilled milk, I thought and dated/lived on.

 

2 1/2 months later she pings me out of the blue. We get together. We ****. She disappears again (well, I kinda did too since I didn't call her after we had sex).

 

So, this "let's ****" mentality is definitely NOT an all guy thing. In my particular case, I could spot from 10,000 miles away that she just wanted a **** when she messaged me again. And - given that I'm single and that she's hot - I said why the **** not (no pun intended). Had her come to my place, do all the work and had some fun.

 

IF you're looking for a BF then do 2 things:

a. make yourself chrystal clear up-front

b. take things SLOWLY - do NOT put out on week 2 or after date 2 and expect a relationship - take it easy/slow

 

End of story.

 

 

It's true!

 

I really believe feminisim has really f'd up women even more. It's in the media, T.V etc. Almost like: Fvk men. You go girl! Do you for you. Making women become "men".

 

It's like telling a person to fvk with a person who is fvking with them creating dysfunctional relationships rather than telling them to just drop toxic people and have some character, integrity and inner strength for yourself.

 

As things get more "improved and advanced" in society these days we all take huge steps back towards complete fvkery for both sides of the sexes.

[stillafool]

The reason women are giving it up so easily is they want to have sex. They don't want to wait to have it. They want it as bad as the men. This is the age we're living in now.

[HappyLove]

While I agree with your point, the same goes for women as well, milady.

 

Case in point - I was seeing this gal for 2 weeks in June. We had 3 good dates and then she had to travel abroad and disappeared.

 

Well, no spilled milk, I thought and dated/lived on.

 

2 1/2 months later she pings me out of the blue. We get together. We ****. She disappears again (well, I kinda did too since I didn't call her after we had sex).

 

So, this "let's ****" mentality is definitely NOT an all guy thing. In my particular case, I could spot from 10,000 miles away that she just wanted a **** when she messaged me again. And - given that I'm single and that she's hot - I said why the **** not (no pun intended). Had her come to my place, do all the work and had some fun.

 

IF you're looking for a BF then do 2 things:

a. make yourself chrystal clear up-front

b. take things SLOWLY - do NOT put out on week 2 or after date 2 and expect a relationship - take it easy/slow

 

End of story.

 

 

And the big difference here is that you're not home crying about it and neither is she. Did she promise you a relationship and loads of time to be spent together in the future? Did she start naming your kids like some of these guys? I'm talking about the women who give it up easy because they trusted he was the one, they believed his lies without getting to know him, then they wonder what happened even though they only knew the guy for a very short time!

[crude]

Women are "giving it up" for the same reason that men are "giving it up", because they want to. Period. So what. Everything else is just a dumb double standard.

[Atem]

And the big difference here is that you're not home crying about it and neither is she. Did she promise you a relationship and loads of time to be spent together in the future? Did she start naming your kids like some of these guys? I'm talking about the women who give it up easy because they trusted he was the one, they believed his lies without getting to know him, then they wonder what happened even though they only knew the guy for a very short time!

 

Hm - well, not be rude here but if a woman starts trusting a man who starts naming their kids on goddamn week 2 or even date 2 then she's either:

a. dillusional

or

b. asking for trouble/heart ache

or

c. just plain stupid

 

Sorry but even teenagers would figure out that something is very VERY wrong if a guy starts family planning before he even knows your last name...

 

Again - not trying to be a dick here - BUT when you date, date with your head and not your homones.

 

I'm just saying...

 

PS: And regarding family planning - even if I like a girl and even if I date her for 2-3 months - if she starts naming kids that early in the game, I'd still be really, REALLY surprised and my BS radar would flash in red like crazy. Maybe that's just me and maybe I'm just too analytical/non-romantic...

[Ruby Slippers]

I agree that having sex too early is a very common problem. I've made the mistake myself. I've never gotten burned by it, because I really wanted sex at the time and was prepared for things not to continue - but that hasn't happened yet.

 

In my current relationship, we had sex right away. I don't know that delaying it would have changed anything, but in theory, I see how waiting could have given us more room to develop a stronger emotional bond from the start.

 

Sadly, we are now discussing splitting up. If we choose that path and I go on to seek out another relationship in the future, I intend to wait a while before having sex, for a lot of different reasons. I don't see that waiting will hurt anything, and it could help by giving us time to better evaluate compatibility without the sex chemicals affecting our thinking, and giving us time to build a stronger emotional bond from the start.

[StanMusial]

Glad to see a female make the point. When I ever did, I got ripped a new one for "slut shaming" and what-have-you. Haters!!!

[Ruby Slippers]

Glad to see a female make the point. When I ever did, I got ripped a new one for "slut shaming" and what-have-you. Haters!!!

I think it's sad and telling how some women get really defensive and dismissive about this topic.

 

Of course, women and men are free to do whatever they want with their bodies.

 

But a woman who wants a loving relationship is doing herself a favor by taking some time to get the know the guy before having sex with him. That's just common sense.

[Ruby Slippers]

Haha Yeah they should

 

As should the guy

 

But both parties want the sex

 

The fault does not lie only on the woman

It's not a matter of fault.

 

Generally speaking, a woman is going to be hurt more if a guy loses interest after sex. She's more likely to feel "used", whereas he's more likely to feel that at least he had sex. So it's smart for the woman to be more cautious.

[KathyM]

I don't see that waiting will hurt anything, and it could help by giving us time to better evaluate compatibility without the sex chemicals affecting our thinking, and giving us time to build a stronger emotional bond from the start.

Exactly. The hormones (oxytoxin) that are released during sex create a bonding effect in the brain that can cause a woman to keep a man around that is not compatible with her in other ways. In other words, it clouds her judgement. And it makes her want a more serious relationship with him before she's even taken the time to evaluate whether he is compatible with her on other levels. And for those women who are looking for an actual relationship, holding off on sex will also weed out those men who are not looking for a relationship, but just interested in hitting and quitting.

[candie13]

Actually, I like it that some women give "it" more easily. You know why? Because it makes my job a lot easier nowadays. Men who are only after "it" give up after a few weeks of chasin' me. Too much trouble for something they can get easily in two three regular dates.

 

I say: GREAT! Everyone, please continue to do exactly as you did until now !

[candie13]

Not true lol some guys wait months then they are gone...

 

The thing is, you're not waiting for the sake of waiting, you're waiting until you get to know him. And if you like what you see and if he makes you feel secure, then you go ahead and have sex. At the very least, you liked the person you had sex with, even if he did disappear afterwards.

 

And that is a lot more compared to sleeping with a guy you barely know his second name... (of course, it all depends on sooo many things, attraction, bedroom skills, personality, emotional and physical needs , etc)

 

And if the guy does disappear after one or several months of dating, then he is the one with the problem - normal people talk about the issues they are facing, before taking off.

 

There's no bullet proof method against guys disappearing into the night - unless you consider marrying a virgin . It can happen to everyone.

[candie13]

Yeah but where I'm coming from is if you truly like someone early sex won't change it.

 

Lol, that is wishful thinking. Sex changes everything.

[KathyM]

Not true lol some guys wait months then they are gone...

If they wait months and then leave, it's likely they left for reasons other than sex. Those who are only looking for sex won't wait so long for it.

[candie13]

If they wait months and then leave, it's likely they left for reasons other than sex. Those who are only looking for sex won't wait so long for it.

 

not true. there are some sick people out there. you never know, you know why? because if they weren't sick, they would at least talk about their issues, before taking off. Sexual or non-sexual.

 

Truth is, if they take off after a month or several, you simply don't know why they left. You cannot assume it's sex. You cannot assume it's not sex. The only thing you can assume is that there is something that they are unable to face. Maybe abandonment issues. Maybe commitment issues. Maybe sexual issue. Soooo many possibilities out there.

 

Their issue, not yours. From the dumpee's perspective, another one bites the dust. At least, you had a blast dating someone you liked and you learnt smth.

[HappyLove]

I think it's sad and telling how some women get really defensive and dismissive about this topic.

 

Of course, women and men are free to do whatever they want with their bodies.

 

But a woman who wants a loving relationship is doing herself a favor by taking some time to get the know the guy before having sex with him. That's just common sense.

 

 

That's why I brought this up because clearly it should be common sense but its NOT! Women are giving too much too soon and wondering what the heck happened when the guy disappears. Slow down and actually get to know the man you may find out he's a jerk in a months time, or that he's all talk no action, and could have saved yourself at least a little heartache.

[HappyLove]

not true. there are some sick people out there. you never know, you know why? because if they weren't sick, they would at least talk about their issues, before taking off. Sexual or non-sexual.

 

Truth is, if they take off after a month or several, you simply don't know why they left. You cannot assume it's sex. You cannot assume it's not sex. The only thing you can assume is that there is something that they are unable to face. Maybe abandonment issues. Maybe commitment issues. Maybe sexual issue. Soooo many possibilities out there.

 

Their issue, not yours. From the dumpee's perspective, another one bites the dust. At least, you had a blast dating someone you liked and you learnt smth.

 

 

This is why it's important to feel a guy out for a while because when stories start to not add up or you start noticing red flags in terms of possible commitment issues at LEAST you gave yourself some time to take notice but you hop in bed after seeing a guy two times you have no clue what he's about.

[KathyM]

Candie, you don't think there are men who are only interested in a quick lay, and then move on to the next one? And when they do not get that quick lay, they move on to the next one? Plenty of men like that out there. No question, but we can agree to disagree on that.

 

I do agree that if a person hangs around for several months, there can be a variety of reasons why he left after all that time. Oftentimes there is discussion about why the couple is breaking up. Sometimes not. Falling off the face of the earth without discussion is usually something found in very short term relationships (less than a month), rather than in longer ones.

[candie13]

Candie, you don't think there are men who are only interested in a quick lay, and then move on to the next one? And when they do not get that quick lay, they move on to the next one? Plenty of men like that out there. No question, but we can agree to disagree on that.

 

totally, see my initial post:

 

Actually, I like it that some women give "it" more easily. You know why? Because it makes my job a lot easier nowadays. Men who are only after "it" give up after a few weeks of chasin' me. Too much trouble for something they can get easily in two three regular dates.

 

I say: GREAT! Everyone, please continue to do exactly as you did until now !

[candie13]

I've dumped nearly every guy I've dated for the past two years, even if I had sex with him. After a month or two it became clear to me that there was no long-term potential, so I would break it off. The sex, either good or bad, played no part in my decision.

 

Lol, you're describing to perfection my last two years. Then I started seeing my ex - taking my time in getting to know him. Sex was great - and it is what allowed me to get to know him a lot better. It also clouded my judgement - between his potential, my wishful thinking and his words... eight months past by.

 

Sometimes, it actually is a LOT better if they simply take off. Disappearing is not the worst thing that can happen to a girl. Actually, it's a blessing. Unlike lingering around and making you unhappy as sh*t, because they are too coward to face their issues or let you go . But that's a totally different topic, sorry for thread jackin' .

[MrCastle]

Nothing wrong with sex early on.

[candie13]

Nothing wrong with sex early on.

 

hahaha, bring it on, Mr. C.

 

May I ask... did you ever have it any other way to say "nothing wrong with it?" ? juuuust askin'